Monday, March 1, 2021

Mary Worth 3578

Eve has an old hamper of Max's dirty bandanas, and Saul asks Greta to sniff his leash? I don't know. Maybe that would work. But I'm starting to feel like this story might not be very realistic.

9 comments:

meg said...

Suddenly Eve’s lamentation and Saul’s patronizing words of calm are interrupted by a loud voice from outside. It’s Mary, with her bullhorn:

“Attention all residents and guests of Charterstone! Prepare to join the search party for Max Lourd who has gone missing in the storm. Dress for the weather and bring flashlights and snacks. The Salvation Army will have a field kitchen set up soon, and the Navy Seals will arrive from Coronado shortly.

“Oprah, you and Harry and Meghan will search Expensive Fashion District near Boutique; Gayle, you will babysit Baby Archie and Greta in Saul’s apartment (Gayle, to herself: ‘ Darn, I never have any fun since Harry and Meghan came on the scene’).

“Toby, you and Ian, I mean Adjunct Professor Cameron, must search every acre and building of SRCC. Wilbur, you and Estelle can search near Jerry’s Sandwich Shoppe, and Libby can stay with Greta and Gayle at Saul’s. Tommy Beedie, you and “Brandy” will search Druggie Park; if you need help, talk to Brownie the Hobo.

“And Saul, you and Eve should go to places Max knows, like the blah blah bench and the south end of the boardwalk. Saul, I suggest you wear the light-up bow tie you were wearing at Christmas. Come back here and stand beneath my balcony when you have anything to report. Mr. Allora and I will wait in my place while drinking whatever is at hand. Maryspeed! And may the Farce be with you.”

“Mary?” “Yes, Carlos?” “How did you get all those people to come and help?” Mary chuckles. “Just called in a few favors...”

Later that night: “ Good news, everyone! Meghan and Oprah found a great sale on Louis Vuitton handbags at Boutique; Tommy and “Brandy” met up with Brownie the Hobo and it turns out he’s “Brandy’s” dad! Jerry gave Wilbur and Estelle a 2 for one deal on leftover sandwiches; and Ian cadged a few beers from the guys at the Kappa Sig frat house. Oh, yes, and Max has been found safe under the South Boardwalk Hot Dog Cart. And Mr. Allora and I are roaring drunk. Excellent work, everyone.”

Saul and Eve and Max return to his place. The door is open; Gayle is asleep on the couch, Baby Archie is watching The Crown, and Libby and Greta are nowhere to be found....

Saul: “AAAARRGH!”
Estelle: $&@#%*#!
Eve: “Oh, too bad, see ya’, wouldn’t wanna be you.”

Anonymous said...


Meg, that's a tour de force for today's farce du jour!

GO WRITE!

-- Scottie McW.

MissScarlet said...

Thank you Meg! You just made Monday 90% better.

KitKat said...

Meg, your post made slogging through this "plot" worth it (no pun intended)!

Sandi Ego said...

Yes, because any dog can do the work of a trained and certified search & rescue dog.

Downpuppy said...

I'm currently watching True Detective, Season 3, where the star is a LRRPer from Nam, and his partner had to splain why it was OK he went off in a different direction from the horde searching the field.

I'm mostly excited to see how Moy deals with it being night and the old people being up past their bedtimes. Any guest star appearances (Vin? Drunk Wilbur?!!!) will be bonuses.

Kate said...

I hope they find her. I think they will. I lost a dog that way and it's no fun.

Just read this i an article by a guy who draws Sally Forth.

"When I was first brought on to write for “Team Sally Forth” (or, as it is known in professional cartooning circles, “Team I Want to Say Mary Worth But I Don’t Think That’s Right”),

I don't know if anyone reads Sally Forth - but they did something interesting today - They had a storyline going and then today's strip kind of skipped over what would have been the next few days. It would be as if tomorrow's Mary Worth had Saul and Eve hugging their dogs and being so happy that Greta found Max -without ever showing a frame of a search. They referenced it in Sally Forth- the husband says I feel like we skipped beats - and Sally says "The setup was taking long enough. We needed to jumpstart the story." I

Anonymous said...

I hope they find her. I think they will. I lost a dog that way and it's no fun.

Just read this i an article by a guy who draws Sally Forth.

"When I was first brought on to write for “Team Sally Forth” (or, as it is known in professional cartooning circles, “Team I Want to Say Mary Worth But I Don’t Think That’s Right”),

I don't know if anyone reads Sally Forth - but they did something interesting today - They had a storyline going and then today's strip kind of skipped over what would have been the next few days. It would be as if tomorrow's Mary Worth had Saul and Eve hugging their dogs and being so happy that Greta found Max -without ever showing a frame of a search. They referenced it in Sally Forth- the husband says I feel like we skipped beats - and Sally says "The setup was taking long enough. We needed to jumpstart the story." I

Kate said...

Clearly Kate and Anonymous are not very tech savvy :)