"And now that you've seen a woman about a dog, Weelbur, I suggest you go back to your hovel to snivel. Good bye." And Eshtelle, the designated recipient of unwanted pets in Charterstone, slams the door in Weelbur's piggy face.
And so Estelle becomes a receiver of stolen property. When she takes “Pierre”, (whom she has renamed “Hugo”), to Dr. Ed for his physical- she finds that “Hugo” is actually “Gustav” WHO WAS STOLEN FROM LADY GAGA earlier this year. Those microchips don’t lie, and now Estelle is enmeshed in an endless lawsuit with Gaga. Quelle horreur!
How did we go from the sing off to please take my dog? And why is Libby so happy? And what happened to the doctor that got bamboozled out of money and his Rolex? I guess I will just have to stay tuned.
HelenClark and meg, you are wickedly wonderful - huzzah!
Later: Estelle becomes frustrated trying to teach Pierre to use the litter box, and when he turns up his nose at the Sheba cat food her cupboards are well stocked with.
Two pets?! Estelle will definitely find her way to Dr. Ed's heart now. Next scene, she takes Pierre to the vet for his post-Wilbur health check up. Turns out, Dr. Ed has a French bulldog also.
Tomorrow morning, Eshtelle heard a knock at her door. It is a weedy young female with a disagreeable expression permanently stamped on her face, carrying an aquarium in her arms. “Are you the designated Unwanted Pet Adopter? I want you to take Monstro. Caring for him distracts me from obsessing about how all men I meet have designs on my virginity. Thank you very much!”
Eshtelle has scarcely shut the door when there is another knocking. It’s a red haired freckled woman who looks as though she lives in a body that is not her own. “Aren’t you the person who adopts animals? I have this hive full of bees…”
“You’d do that Wilbur?? You’d give me your dog?” As if he were some sort of saint. This same statement should’ve been made with utter incredulity over the fact that this pompous man-child irresponsibly adopted a living being to magnetize chicks, and is now abandoning it within a week (one week in MW time being approximately equivalent to the Cenozoic Era).
I liked Estelle a lot better when she was in her Stunned Silence phase. Or her breakup karaoke phase. I guess a sack of cold Egg McMuffins is the way to this woman’s heart apparently.
Tim, I like the Mary Provost ending for Wilbur too. But now that he's given his dog to Estelle, it will be up to her to take Pierre over to Wilbur's apartment every day for a snack.
Fiends! Charterstonians! Meddlemen! Lend me your beers I come to give Pierre to Eshtelle, not to whine about him. The shoes that dogs chew are left behind them The dogs themselves go to better homes. So let it be with Pierre. The evil snarkers Have made jokes that I was spurious If it were so, it was because of the single malt And the several I imbibed after it There before Eshtelle and Dr Ed That was before the karaoke bar ban. Thought I’d be like Saul, find myself a hen ‘Cause dogs magnetise chicks except at a funeral. Eshtelle was my chick, sang duets sitting beside me But Libby started to howl along And Eshtelle slapped me with a ban. I have spent nights outside Eshtelle’s home While the rain did down my combover spill Did this to Eshtelle seem scrumptious? When my shower radio died, Charterstone just slept All of you should have given me stuff! But even Sam Driver has fallen on harder times And Sam Driver was a fortunate man. You all did know, that on the financial Field all offered him dollars enough to drown Enriched him on the slightest excuse; was it their mission? Yet Sam’s now blackmail’d by a deputy mayor And Sam was a fortunate man. I remember how Aldo on canyon rocks broke And how Mary plann’d her next meddle e’en as he was laid low. I wonder what secrets lie hid in Charterstone by laws Must we be fodder for Mary’s meddles, and that’s grim? Oh Eshtelle! Thou art now happy with thy beasts But this hath taught me no lesson; wait with me Mary will make us get back together And I’ll whine, so she makes muffins for me.
19 comments:
"And now that you've seen a woman about a dog, Weelbur, I suggest you go back to your hovel to snivel. Good bye." And Eshtelle, the designated recipient of unwanted pets in Charterstone, slams the door in Weelbur's piggy face.
And so Estelle becomes a receiver of stolen property. When she takes “Pierre”, (whom she has renamed “Hugo”), to Dr. Ed for his physical- she finds that “Hugo” is actually “Gustav” WHO WAS STOLEN FROM LADY GAGA earlier this year. Those microchips don’t lie, and now Estelle is enmeshed in an endless lawsuit with Gaga. Quelle horreur!
Undaunted, Wilbur drives out to a farm and buys a pig. He figures that if the pig doesn't warm up to him, at least he can eat it.
HelenClark
HelenClark:
LOL!
How did we go from the sing off to please take my dog? And why is Libby so happy? And what happened to the doctor that got bamboozled out of money and his Rolex? I guess I will just have to stay tuned.
HelenClark and meg, you are wickedly wonderful - huzzah!
Later: Estelle becomes frustrated trying to teach Pierre to use the litter box, and when he turns up his nose at the Sheba cat food her cupboards are well stocked with.
Two pets?! Estelle will definitely find her way to Dr. Ed's heart now. Next scene, she takes Pierre to the vet for his post-Wilbur health check up. Turns out, Dr. Ed has a French bulldog also.
That would be cannibalism.
Tomorrow morning, Eshtelle heard a knock at her door. It is a weedy young female with a disagreeable expression permanently stamped on her face, carrying an aquarium in her arms. “Are you the designated Unwanted Pet Adopter? I want you to take Monstro. Caring for him distracts me from obsessing about how all men I meet have designs on my virginity. Thank you very much!”
Eshtelle has scarcely shut the door when there is another knocking. It’s a red haired freckled woman who looks as though she lives in a body that is not her own. “Aren’t you the person who adopts animals? I have this hive full of bees…”
Estelle has a giant WELCOME stamped on her back.
-- Scottie McW.
So Wilbur gets Estelle back and dumps Pierre at the same time? I thought Apt. 3G was LSD-level nuts.
Yea Bill the Butcher!! Shout outs to Luann and Mark Trail!
meg and KitKat - Thanks, friends!
HelenClark
id slap wilber so bad now but then hes a imaginary charecter .i hope dawn falls in a sewer and dies
“You’d do that Wilbur?? You’d give me your dog?” As if he were some sort of saint. This same statement should’ve been made with utter incredulity over the fact that this pompous man-child irresponsibly adopted a living being to magnetize chicks, and is now abandoning it within a week (one week in MW time being approximately equivalent to the Cenozoic Era).
I liked Estelle a lot better when she was in her Stunned Silence phase. Or her breakup karaoke phase. I guess a sack of cold Egg McMuffins is the way to this woman’s heart apparently.
I'd like him to go out like Mary Provost. (Probably an urban myth but I like that destiny for Wilbur. )
So we have a cat that angrily pees on Wilbur whenever she gets the chance, and a dog who hates him and runs away from him whenever he gets the chance.
Estelle, girl, the universe is sending you a message.
Tim, I like the Mary Provost ending for Wilbur too. But now that he's given his dog to Estelle, it will be up to her to take Pierre over to Wilbur's apartment every day for a snack.
HelenClark
Fiends! Charterstonians! Meddlemen! Lend me your beers
I come to give Pierre to Eshtelle, not to whine about him.
The shoes that dogs chew are left behind them
The dogs themselves go to better homes.
So let it be with Pierre. The evil snarkers
Have made jokes that I was spurious
If it were so, it was because of the single malt
And the several I imbibed after it
There before Eshtelle and Dr Ed
That was before the karaoke bar ban.
Thought I’d be like Saul, find myself a hen
‘Cause dogs magnetise chicks except at a funeral.
Eshtelle was my chick, sang duets sitting beside me
But Libby started to howl along
And Eshtelle slapped me with a ban.
I have spent nights outside Eshtelle’s home
While the rain did down my combover spill
Did this to Eshtelle seem scrumptious?
When my shower radio died, Charterstone just slept
All of you should have given me stuff!
But even Sam Driver has fallen on harder times
And Sam Driver was a fortunate man.
You all did know, that on the financial
Field all offered him dollars enough to drown
Enriched him on the slightest excuse; was it their mission?
Yet Sam’s now blackmail’d by a deputy mayor
And Sam was a fortunate man.
I remember how Aldo on canyon rocks broke
And how Mary plann’d her next meddle e’en as he was laid low.
I wonder what secrets lie hid in Charterstone by laws
Must we be fodder for Mary’s meddles, and that’s grim?
Oh Eshtelle! Thou art now happy with thy beasts
But this hath taught me no lesson; wait with me
Mary will make us get back together
And I’ll whine, so she makes muffins for me.
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