That last panel with the main character and the SO staring at the moon reminds me of the way other strips have ended. And a week of praising Mary's meddling seems like a finale. We can only hope.
I was about to suggest that Mary could use some sessions with Dr. Sweater Vest to discuss her compulsion to give her opinion, but she’d probably deck him when he’d try to give his opinion. Someone who never doubts herself because she “always comes from a place of caring and love” should be given a very wide berth.
Mary reviews her scrapbook and reminisces about how she helped people.
My goodness, this book is so thick and heavy, I need to ship it off to my agent to get it ready for publication.
What will this volume be titled? Compelling Advice from Mary Worth Do What I Tell You; I’m Caring and Loving I Advise Others According to My Abilities
(Leafing through scrapbook) Oh, there’s the dear late Queen. She certainly followed my advice. “Wear bright colors. Liz, and pile on the jewelry.” Chuck was so disappointed I couldn’t attend the funeral. ‘You made her, Mary, you cheeky senior.” “Please, Chuck, it’s Mrs. Worth.”
And dear old FDR- “Frank,” I said, “give your speeches in front of a roaring fire, not your bar cart. And make my martini a double, if you please.”
Meryl Streep didn’t know good advice when she heard it. “FGS, Meryl, can the phony accents and just be yourself! And maybe change your name to Marilyn. Meryl sounds so….Dutch. Not sexy.”
Francis Ford Coppola was SO hardheaded. Call the movie Mafia Family. Otherwise people will think it’s about a Catholic christening party…
And Lorne Michaels was originally going to call his little show “Late Night Funny Stuff.” “Mrs. Worth, you saved my bacon! Would you like to be a guest host?” “Well, I really couldn’t, okaycanIdoitnextSaturdaynightwithGuyLombardoasmusicalguest?” “Mary, Guy Lombardo’s been dead for decades.” “Okay, Rudy Vallee.”
It looks like Mary was also compelled to steal my best plaid tartan scarf, as protection against the Southern California chill. Kleptomania and meddlemania don't go well together, Mare.
She says that things work out in the end, but do they really? Dawn's been listening to Mary for years, and how many failed relationships has Dawn been through? Estelle took Mary's advice to take Wilbur back and look how that ended: Wilbur fell off a cruise ship and let his family and friends think he was dead for a week. I imagine that whole mess was rather traumatizing for Estelle.
I am an old woman. I have been widowed three times (or was it four?). I have seven children (or was it eight?). Regardless, none of them keep in touch with me any longer. I have 14 grandchildren (so I'm told) none of whom I've ever met. Well, not any that I remember meeting. But understandably so, I guess, because six of those (or is it seven?) I believe are incarcerated (so I'm told). Whatever...
My home is in the process of being foreclosed on. I've spent my entire social security payments on keeping up the one newspaper subscription that still publishes the Mary Worth strip. I have no living relatives so I will likely end up having to live in my car. Oh, well, maybe not. I just remembered that my car was repossessed last year (or perhaps the year before?) but that might have been for the best. I've been driving without a license for the last 18 years after my fifth (or was it my sixth?) DUI.
My pets would not have liked living in my car anyway. Oh, did I mention my pets? I seem to remember that most of them have died. Most? All? It's hard to remember. Fluffy? Fido? Trigger? Here girl; here boy; here binary! No response... hmmm... I wonder what happened to them.
In any case, Karen Moy, I am writing to tell you that the only thing I have left in my life to look forward to now, is the Mary Worth comic strip. It is the only reason I continue to get (stagger; fall) out of bed in the morning. My only joy comes from the hope that Dawn will be dumped again, the hope that Wilbur will someday overdose on Mayonnaise, that perhaps Estelle's piano will fall through her floor into Mary's apartment, that both Drs. Jeff and Drew will be incarcerated for malpractice, that Zak will kick Iris to the curb for Bella Hadid, or maybe that Saul's and Eve's dogs both get parvovirus, rabies, and fleas.
So, please, if it's not too much to ask, can we get a new story tomorrow?
Your plea to Karen Moy has been answered! Behold, I bring you good news- we have a new non-Mary plot, and it includes a plate of dog food, but no dogs!
13 comments:
Growth is the only evidence of life? Then this strip may be in need of a crash cart and full emergency treatment.
That last panel with the main character and the SO staring at the moon reminds me of the way other strips have ended. And a week of praising Mary's meddling seems like a finale. We can only hope.
@mr_darcy: It’s been two weeks. Two long, painful weeks.
I was about to suggest that Mary could use some sessions with Dr. Sweater Vest to discuss her compulsion to give her opinion, but she’d probably deck him when he’d try to give his opinion. Someone who never doubts herself because she “always comes from a place of caring and love” should be given a very wide berth.
Next week:
Mary reviews her scrapbook and reminisces about how she helped people.
My goodness, this book is so thick and heavy, I need to ship it off to my agent to get it ready for publication.
What will this volume be titled?
Compelling Advice from Mary Worth
Do What I Tell You; I’m Caring and Loving
I Advise Others According to My Abilities
(Leafing through scrapbook)
Oh, there’s the dear late Queen. She certainly followed my advice. “Wear bright colors. Liz, and pile on the jewelry.” Chuck was so disappointed I couldn’t attend the funeral. ‘You made her, Mary, you cheeky senior.” “Please, Chuck, it’s Mrs. Worth.”
And dear old FDR- “Frank,” I said, “give your speeches in front of a roaring fire, not your bar cart. And make my martini a double, if you please.”
Meryl Streep didn’t know good advice when she heard it. “FGS, Meryl, can the phony accents and just be yourself! And maybe change your name to Marilyn. Meryl sounds so….Dutch. Not sexy.”
Francis Ford Coppola was SO hardheaded. Call the movie Mafia Family. Otherwise people will think it’s about a Catholic christening party…
And Lorne Michaels was originally going to call his little show “Late Night Funny Stuff.” “Mrs. Worth, you saved my bacon! Would you like to be a guest host?” “Well, I really couldn’t, okaycanIdoitnextSaturdaynightwithGuyLombardoasmusicalguest?” “Mary, Guy Lombardo’s been dead for decades.” “Okay, Rudy Vallee.”
It looks like Mary was also compelled to steal my best plaid tartan scarf, as protection against the Southern California chill. Kleptomania and meddlemania don't go well together, Mare.
This isn't intended as being funny or snarky but how can anyone, including Jeff, stand Mary's company?
This panel should be the masthead of every Mary Worth comic.
She says that things work out in the end, but do they really? Dawn's been listening to Mary for years, and how many failed relationships has Dawn been through? Estelle took Mary's advice to take Wilbur back and look how that ended: Wilbur fell off a cruise ship and let his family and friends think he was dead for a week. I imagine that whole mess was rather traumatizing for Estelle.
Seems like a good series finale.
Dear Karen Moy,
I am an old woman. I have been widowed three times (or was it four?). I have seven children (or was it eight?). Regardless, none of them keep in touch with me any longer. I have 14 grandchildren (so I'm told) none of whom I've ever met. Well, not any that I remember meeting. But understandably so, I guess, because six of those (or is it seven?) I believe are incarcerated (so I'm told). Whatever...
My home is in the process of being foreclosed on. I've spent my entire social security payments on keeping up the one newspaper subscription that still publishes the Mary Worth strip. I have no living relatives so I will likely end up having to live in my car. Oh, well, maybe not. I just remembered that my car was repossessed last year (or perhaps the year before?) but that might have been for the best. I've been driving without a license for the last 18 years after my fifth (or was it my sixth?) DUI.
My pets would not have liked living in my car anyway. Oh, did I mention my pets? I seem to remember that most of them have died. Most? All? It's hard to remember. Fluffy? Fido? Trigger? Here girl; here boy; here binary! No response... hmmm... I wonder what happened to them.
In any case, Karen Moy, I am writing to tell you that the only thing I have left in my life to look forward to now, is the Mary Worth comic strip. It is the only reason I continue to get (stagger; fall) out of bed in the morning. My only joy comes from the hope that Dawn will be dumped again, the hope that Wilbur will someday overdose on Mayonnaise, that perhaps Estelle's piano will fall through her floor into Mary's apartment, that both Drs. Jeff and Drew will be incarcerated for malpractice, that Zak will kick Iris to the curb for Bella Hadid, or maybe that Saul's and Eve's dogs both get parvovirus, rabies, and fleas.
So, please, if it's not too much to ask, can we get a new story tomorrow?
HelenClark
@meg and HelenClark, you have reached new highs (or it lows? I forget) today! Take a bow (singly or jointly)!!
Helen Clark,
Your plea to Karen Moy has been answered! Behold, I bring you good news- we have a new non-Mary plot, and it includes a plate of dog food, but no dogs!
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