Monday, June 5, 2023

Mary Worth 4234

"They call it a screwdriver."

3,428 comments:

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Chester the Dog said...

Mary? Summer is 1/2 over.

meg said...

Elvis voice: “Thank you very much.” Many times a year I look at the bit of wisdom Wanders gave us: “They call it a screwdriver.” And I’ve always wondered what it meant. Now I think I know! Just send me one $50 Amazon gift card (per person), and I will tell you!……………………………….
…So, no takers? Okay, apparently it’s bar talk for the house well. If you ask for rum and cola, you’ll get the cheapest rum. Same with gin and tonic, etc. “You call its.” I may be wrong, so if there are any experts, let me know. This is the hottest day of the year, and my brain is acting accordingly.

Anonymous said...

@meg, a screwdriver is orange juice and vodka. We can assume that Toby has already poured a quart of Smirnoff in that pitcher for starters, and it looks like she'll be ready to make more after she and Chinbeard polish it off. -- Scottie

meg said...

Sorry, Scottie, can’t hear you. Mr. Meg is doing his shake the metal Martini shaker hula number, and it be LOUD.

I’ve just had a terrible thought. Mary has recommended (spelled o-r-d-e-r-e-d) that Wilbur take Dawn on a trip. What if he decides to go on a trip to NYC, along with Mary? AIEEEE!

Mary’s already bought her ticket- it’s a bargain called the Santa Pass. Santa Royale to Santa Barbara to Santa Anita to Santa Fe to Santa Claus, Indiana, to LaGuardia. Maybe that will discourage the Westons. Maybe they can go to Cancun. ( trigger warning) Wilbur likes to take walks on the beach in the moonlight while wearing his swimsuit.

KitKat said...

Boy, @meg, you are firing on all cylinders, despite (or maybe because of) the heat. I love the itinerary you described, except substitute Newark Liberty for LaGuardia.

I'm thinking KM might handle Olive the soap-opera way, e.g., an 11-year-old goes to a convent school in Ireland for a year and comes back 21 and ready to cause trouble.

Anonymous said...

So, Olive is now a teenager. Thanks for answering my question, Moy. The poor thing has entered that portion of the Twilight Zone that Dawn has occupied for some forty years now—the perpetual teenager. - fauxprof

LouiseF said...

Today's panel has what must be one of the most awkward renderings of a human hand holding a glass of (?!) that I have ever seen. Is it Mary's arm? Toby's? Probably not the (ahem) Professor, given that lovely manicure, although if it were Prof. Cameron, that would be a refreshing change, and it might indicate that he is on his back on the floor, holding up his glass for a refill......

meg said...

Well, I must say, that as a teenager in the Mesozoic Era, there was nothing I would have liked better than having a sesquicentenarian old biddie , whom I hardly knew, come for a visit and share my FREAKIN’ room, the place I go to avoid all the ‘tee hee’.

MissScarlet said...

A beautiful teenager who sees angels and has a tummy brain. What could go wrong?

Anonymous said...

Mary arrives at the Taylors' apartment.

"Ed! Evy! So nice to see you again! And where's my little kindred spirit Olive?"

"Uh, she ran away."

-- Scottie

hmmm said...

I'm shocked! Seriously. I've been reading this silly strip for almost as many years as Mary has been alive and I do not remember any character actually aging.

LouiseF said...

KM's teenagers tend to be sullen stereotypes who seem to be bent on some sort of retribution for what they experience as personal injustice. Can't wait to meet Ms. Tummybrain.

KitKat said...

I guess Mary's travel plans slipped her mind on Jeff's yacht AND at the Bum Boat. Today he's an afterthought to Mary's packing plans. Can this non-marriage be saved?

hmmm said...

Oh, June. You disappoint me. You know you wanted to draw Mary's closet jam-packed with purple cowl-necked sweaters. You caved. But at least you have her reaching for one. That spare should be enough for a two-month visit.

LouiseF said...

Uh oh.. Mary is exhibiting a somewhat wild-eyed look as she contemplates her impending trip.

Anonymous said...

@LouiseF -- Ha haaa! Yeah, Mary's channeling her inner Belle. Looks like she popped a couple uppers to get her through her to-do list, the last item upon said list being, "27. Tell Mr. Allora to Tell Jeff, Time Permitting." -- Scottie

KitKat said...

@hmmm, today we have Mary in a purple swimsuit, though without a cowl neck.

Mary seems to be remembering diving into the pool from a water slide.

Anonymous said...

@KitKat -- And matching purple sunglasses! I wonder if she has them custom-made. -- Scottie

hmmm said...

For crying out loud, KM, slow down, will you? How can we possibly keep up with this new story if you keep it moving at this breakneck speed?

KitKat said...

And what tiny morsel is perched on the tiny fork that Jeff is awkwardly holding?

MissScarlet said...

Oh, really, Mary save a little girl from drowning? Wow! I hadn't heard that. Please tell me again.
But first, Jeff, eat your little piece of yellow squash before it falls off your little fork.

MissScarlet said...

Nothing to see here. Jeff still hasn't eaten his bite of whatever. Mary has stayed in touch with Olive who has a teenager.
Oh, and Mary topped off her wine.

LouiseF said...

That's right, Jeff. She's heading to New York where she MAY run into John Dille, her cake whisperer or a well-meaning bum in Central Park. I'm hoping she goes to see the new Broadway show about Floyd Collins, who died when he was trapped in a cave in Kentucky in the 1920's. I can see Mary rushing the stage to save him.

Anonymous said...

Just checking in to make sure I haven’t perished from terminal ennui. I see we have clarification. Olive is fourteen. Such an uncomplicated, joyful age. We’re in for a delightful romp, provided Mary ever unloads Jeff and Ubers to the airport.

LouiseF said...

Good point, Anonymous. I see it's taken three days for Mary and Jeff to move from drinking what looks like grape juice to full glasses of wine to half glasses of red (probably) Lambrusco. Maybe Mary will hit the airport by Saturday.

meg said...

Will Olive have braces, tattoos, piercings, or an attitude?

hmmm said...

Let's see; what would be my dream vacation? New York City in the summer? Sharing a cluttered bedroom with a 14-year-old girl? I think not.

MissScarlet said...

Does Jeff want to be 14? No, I think he wants Mary to be 14. No good, Jeff. She would be 'jail bait' then, and she would still turn you down.

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