Monday, June 5, 2023

Mary Worth 4234

"They call it a screwdriver."

3,942 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Mary’s never seen Toby so happy and fulfilled? Not even by vodka? (Let’s just leave Ian out of the discussion, because…ewwww.) - fauxprof

MissScarlett said...

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard about Toby - she's fulfilled by a bird.
Or the meanest thing Mary has ever said.

meg said...

Sounds like Toby is going to lay an egg any day now.

KitKat said...

Gadzooks, KM is so political today: the opening quotation is by Narendra Modi, and Sunny may be an undocumented refugee from Mexico.

Mary, you need an editor. "Shipment" is the subject of your sentence, not "parrots," so you should have said "an illegal shipment of Amazon parrots was involved...." Think it over while munching on a steamed sweet potato. Ha ha ha!

Anonymous said...

@KitKat -- I was going to post the same thing. That elementary-school English mistake jumped out at me right through my screen.

Yikes, who knew that Santa Royale was right along the notorious Parrot Smuggling Corridor? I'll bet Stanley was involved. -- Scottie

MissScarlett said...

OK, so maybe We Heart Pets wouldn't say anything, but isn't a possibly smuggled parrot something Dr. Ed would have noted?
And anyway, as I mentioned before, southern CA has a lot of wild parrots. Why would someone smuggle in more? Most birds can't even be sold in CA anymore, and those that can be have to have all kinds of documentation.

Ya know, I may be too far down the Moyzone for my own good.

Anonymous said...

Look, Mary, all this speculation is pointless. Just call Olive, have her talk to the parrot, and then she'll give you the whole story. Come on, we shouldn't have to tell you this. -- Scottie

MissScarlett said...

Looks like Mary opted for some coffee/tea rather than a steamed sweet potato. Good choice!

meg said...

If Seedy was smuggled, he must have been smuggled from an English-speaking parrot-hoarding careless-handling poor-driving animal-mistreating law-defying organization.

KitKat said...

"Ha ha ha!" is the only dialogue in that TV show. Apparently it's Toby's favorite, which tells us a lot about Toby.

MissScarlett said...

Fun fact: birds don't say, 'Ha ha ha" when they are happy.

LouiseF said...

It seems the only dialogue reported on Toby's TV is "Ha Ha Ha", perfect for schooling a parrot. Convenient.

KitKat said...

Toby should teach Seedy Sunny to say "I hate haggis and bagpipes!"

Anonymous said...

Wow, TO-BEE! is approaching Wilburesque depths of loneliness and desperation.

Anonymous said...

I’ve realized that the animals in this comic strip are more interesting than the humans. We have cats who do yoga, psychic dogs, goldfish with the ability to show emotion through facial expressions, and now a parrot who astonishes Mary by speaking actual words. Here’s my suggestion. Why not eliminate the humans (starting with Wilbur, of course) and make it all about the animal characters. Maybe keep Mary around to introduce each day’s adventures.

-fauxprof

LouiseF said...

Unless Mary's been living under a rock (guess we can forgive her ignorance, seeing how she's pushing 100) I'm not sure what's so "remarkable" about a talking parrot. Looks like she needs a trip to the Santa Royale Zoo. And how tidy that the TV wishes us "Happy Thanksgiving". At least we don't have to see Mary weighed down with a platter of turkey as usual. Maybe it's finally too much for her to put on the annual feast. I think she and Toby are watching the Macy's parade on TV with coffee generously laced with Irish Cream.. Next up, a floating balloon that inspires Sunny to crow "Dumbo!". Too cute for words...

KitKat said...

Well!! KM has thrown us a Thanksgiving curve ball - no traditional dinner at Mary's with her friends jammed around the table grasping diminutive wine glasses. The only holiday touch is some random guy on TV (anybody venture a guess who he might be? The emcee of the Santa Royale Thanksgiving Day Parade?) with a holiday greeting. How long have Mary, Toby, and Seedy Sunny been watching TV? Will Ian return by Christmas? Does anyone believe that Toby watches PBS? (If she does, I bet she never contributes to her local station.)

Happy Thanksgiving to my Worthiverse companions! I'm grateful to all of you for sharing your wit, support, and supreme snark. Also, thank you Wanders for continuing to let us play in your yard, as @Scottie once put it.

MissScarlett said...

No, birds do not learn language like children. Mary just insulted children everywhere.
Happy Thanksgiving to all. I give thanks to you every day.

meg said...

Toby has wisely decided to wait for Ian to teach the bird some ‘bad words’. Ian has all the best words.

KitKat said...

Thanksgiving at Charterstone was a mere blip on TO-BEE's TV.

It's a good thing Toby reminded Mary that Ian is her husband. She wouldn't want Mary to think she and Ian are shacking up.

Anonymous said...

@KitKat -- Yeah, that was a weird thing to say.

Ah well, just another day in the MoyZone. -- Scottie

meg said...

Random Thanksgiving guy seems to be Al Roker. He was dressed just like random guy on tv yesterday- same hat, scarf, jacket- according to a picture online today.

KitKat said...

Thank you, @meg. I haven't see Today in many a year.

Cue the ominous music: KM has set the scene for a Toby nightmare. What unspeakable thing will Ian say or do? Practice your Chinbeard-speak, @meg!

KitKat said...

"OH LUCY, I'M HOME!"

Anonymous said...

well, Toby, will it be Ian or Sunny? We’re all on the bird’s team, right? - fauxprof

MissScarlett said...

Well, I think we all knew this was going to happen. It was probably the only 'fly in the ointment' Moy could think of. I'm guessing that Sunny either continues to hate Ian (why not?) and/or the bird's owner shows up. Maybe Toby will take Sunny to the I Heart Pet place again and this time the owner will see him. Meanwhile, I hope he takes a bite out of Ian's nose.

Anonymous said...

To follow up on KitKat's witty comment, it looks like Toby got some 'splainin to do. -- Scottie

KitKat said...

@Scottie, good catch!

Sunny looks more vulture-like today. Chinbeard better watch his back.

Anonymous said...

Nice! It's been a while since we've seen a good HARRUMPH! in MW. -- Scottie

MissScarlett said...

Thank heavens for steam!

LouiseF said...

I see the dye Ian uses to keep his unibrow looking youthful is dripping down his nose. Must be the steam... (hee, hee Miss Scarlet)

Anonymous said...

Anyone else hearing the music from “Psycho”? I mean, that parrot was not happy -fauxprof

KitKat said...

@fauxprof, yes, I am hearing that, especially since Ian left the bathroom door ajar. Tomorrow I hope we hear those strings from Bernard Hermann's score and a shrieking "SQUAWK!"

MissScarlet said...

Is that bird giving an evil glare? Congratulations Brigman! Nicely done!

meg said...

Although the initial meet-and-greet between bird and beast did not go well, Toby continued making Ian’s special wecome home dinner, which would be shared with Sunny. Steamed sweet potatoes, stewed kale,…yum! ( ..

Tarnation, Toby! first ye brin a wild varmint intae our immaculate flat, an then ye serve me vegetable-tastin gruel!
Daes Cap’n Crappy like tha stuff? oh, ye puir wee bairn, wud ye like som popcorn? come an git it!

Tae Toby’s amazement, Ian hae hidden bits o popcorn in his beard, an Cap’n
Crappy is eagerly pecking at the bits (pause for joint EWWWWWWWW!).
(Or, if you’re one of those bird-centric people, AWWWWWWWWWW!).

Why, Ian! You like Sunny-er Captain Crappy?

Aye, lass. He makes me think of the wee budgie I had when I was a wee teenage lad living in the upper middle class highrise slums of Glasgow. We were very close, and we told each other ev’rythin’.

Ian, you never told me about him! What was his name?

‘Twas Wee Bobby Burds, named for our greatest poet. He could recite all of the canons, and he could pray The Selkirk Grace better than th’ High Moderator of the Church of Scotland. Ah still miss him, and I’ll never forget his last words to me.

Toby is now sobbing quietly. What did he say, Dear?

He said, “HELP! I’m being eaten by your mither’s moggy!”

meg said...



On Saturday, December 6, 2025 at 07:39:08 PM EST, mtrehub@aol.com wrote:


Next Day

Ring, ring! Hello, Santa Royale Police Department. What is your emergency?

Elderly woman’s voice: I’d like to speak to Officer Toody or Sergeant Muldoon. They are always so kind and so efficient.

Ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you those officers are no longer with us.

Oh, did they transfer to the FBI? Or to the Goleta Police Department?

No, Ma’am, they’ve gone to that great donut shop in the sky.

Oh, they’re having a coffee break. I’m sure you’re also very kind and efficient. Do you recall that truck crash where some of the Amazon parrots were killed and others escaped into the vast, dense forest of Western Santa Royale? I may have a clue…

What? A clue ? Excellent! Officers Hegseth and Patel have been working on this case day and night- or so they say. What do you know?

Well, I’ve seen my neighbors with a strange parrot recently,

I’ll send the parrot retrieval team over there immediately! Where will I find you.?

Oh, you should see Mrs. Mary Worth, not me- teehee. She’s the very dynamic and unofficial manager of Charterstone, and you may remember her from the Case of the Missing Dog where she was instrumental in recovering that poor dog from the dastardly kidnappers; why, if she hadn’t driven diligently up and down the streets of Santa Royale, shouting GRETA WHERE ARE YOU GIRL, that poor pup would still be in a cage and suffering something awful and-“

What is this Charterstone- some sort of mental institution?

(Icily) No. Charterstone is the finest, most exclusive condominium complex north of Montecito. All the most prominent people live there if they can’t afford a house.

Okay, Mrs. Worth, Hegseth and Patel will be there later.

Several hours later, a crowd has encircled the Camerons’ building.

Bird ICE has several dozen white-garbed and masked agents in place, most Charterstone residents are there, Dr. Jeff is there with an ambulance just in case this is the day he’s actually needed; and Dr. Ed Harding is there with a hypodermic needle filled with phenobarbital just in case Captain Crappy doesn’t go quietly when he’s ripped from the loving arms of his foster family (Squawk! Read me my rights! Unlawful detainment! Is there a lawyer in the crowd, or are you all a bunch of @#$&*%+ doctors and academics? Daddy Ian, help!)

Meanwhile, a silver Rolls Royce panel truck has parked, idling, on Mr. Alora’s rose garden. Officer Patel enters the truck to speak with the occupants.

Hegseth uses a bullhorn: ‘Adjunct Professor Cameron: come out with the bird on your shoulder and your hands in the air, and give Mrs. Worth the bird.’

Ian: ‘Ay will ne’er gie up my wee darlin’ bird. Ye’ll hae to pry his claws from my cold, dead shoulder. However, Ay will gie Mary the bird! ‘ When Ian raises his right arm, Dr. Ed Harding jabs Ian with the hypodermic. Ian collapses like a downed oak tree. Then, everyone present gives Mary the bird. Hegseth squeamishly grabs the parrot and rushes over to the Rolls Royce truck. Out steps——Amazon founder Jeff Birdzos and his lavishly attired wife, Lauren Birdzos.

Patel: Is this your parrot, Mr. Birdzos?
Jeff: Nah! That’s not the parrot I ordered. I ordered a very rare Shiny Bald-headed Parrot, not a common yellow headed bird.
Lauren: And the parrot we ordered has a very large chest. We’ll have to return this one.
Jeff: Let’s leave. We’re having dinner with Harry and Meghan tonight.

Captain Crappy: Come get me, Mom and Dad! And leave us alone, you nosy, meddling @#$&*%+ old biddy!

Patel calls the station to send someone to drive Hegseth home.
So ended the night when everyone gave Mary the bird.

Anonymous said...

"meg" spelled backward is "gem," and you've written two more, Meg!

I love these! "Bird ICE" made me literally laugh out loud, as did your description of which physical attributes the Birdzoses like in a parrot, Officer Hegseth needing a ride home, and, of course, everybody giving Mary the bird.

Brava! Treat yourself to some crackers on me! -- Scottie

MissScarlett said...

Thank heavens we have meg today to give us a beyond worthwhile (pun intended) story. Moy has let us down again after that long, big idiotic lead up.

Meg, I loved picturing Ian falling like a tree! So great!

I looked it up: ' cullen skink' is Scottish smoked fish stew. Don't think that name is doing it any favors.

meg said...

SQUAWK! Thank you. HA HA HA!

LouiseF said...

I see it only takes a dish of "cullen skink" and a few "tatties" to turn Ian's head away from his intentions...

KitKat said...

Huzzah huzzah, @meg! Nobody does it better than you! I was going to nominate you for a Kennedy Center Honor, but I'd have to find a time machine to go back to a more favorable year, more's the pity.

Today: "Harrumph!" is Chinbeard's idea of pillow talk?

MissScarlett said...

@ 'pillow talk' ROTFL Excellent!

But seriously folks; Ian's been gone for weeks and he's sitting with the classic crossed arms over his chest pose and Toby's on her phone. I think there's trouble a brewin' and it runs deeper than a weird parrot.

meg said...

Perhaps the building will catch fire: Toby will flee the flames while Ian snoozes semi-drunkenly in his LA-Z Prof recliner. Captain Crappy will have to brave the flames and save the day. He’ll wake Ian by screeching ‘SQUAWK! Wake up, Daddy! Move your fat a— out of that recliner before you’re roasted like a giant haggis!’


meg said...

Warning: Don’t look at Ian’s ankles in the first panel.

KitKat said...

Aaaggghhh, I read today's strip before seeing @meg's warning. Now there's no way I can unsee that horrifying, stomach-turning sight!

It's your own fault for leaving your prized Playbills all over the apartment, Ian.

meg said...

I’ve had a chilling premonition about what may come next, and it’s not that ‘Sunny’ will be served up on Mary’s table on Christmas Day. What if this a giant prelude to a true ‘jump the shark’ story for Toby and Ian? They’ll kiss and make up…then…twins! (Named Li’l Ian and Lilian)

Anonymous said...

I've gotta side with Ian on this one, gang. Going all confetti on the Othello playbill was a malicious, deliberate, and conscious act. We know this because that bird's no dummy. He's already proven that he's way smarter than Toby.

If Sunny wants to keep provoking Ian for whatever kicks he gets, he better stay on the high side of the apartment. Or else. -- Scottie

KitKat said...

Your comment about Toby and Sunny made me laugh out loud, @Scottie (although Toby sets a low bar).

Does Sunny object to Shakespeare in general, or to Sir Richard Wellbottom in particular? I wonder if Sunny has an opinion on Ken Kensington.

MissScarlett said...

Ken Kensington!! What a great blast from the past.

Hey, what if Sunny is female? Maybe she's trying to build a nest?
Maybe Sunny is suffering from some sort of pica and needs to eat paper?
Maybe Sunny was abused by a previous owner who resembled a large, gray-haired Scotsman?
Maybe Sunny has fallen in love with Toby (!!) and is trying to drive Ian off. That one kinda fits in the Moyzone, actually.

KitKat said...

In a momentous Worthiverse development, Toby has extended personhood to Sunny.

Of course Ian is "the bigger person" - HARRUMPH!

Anonymous said...

The next morning, as Toby stumbles into the kitchen, Ian is already sitting there enjoying his coffee. He says to her, "Sit down, darling. I'm afraid I have some terrible news. I was running some coffee grounds down the garbage grinder in the sink when your lovely little bird suddenly fell in. I tried to save him but it was too late. It was a completely freak accident. But rest assured knowing that the little . . . birdie went quickly. Coffee?" -- Scottie

meg said...

Toby: IAN, YOU IDIOT! Don’t you know coffee grounds will clog the garbage disposal??!! Garbage grinder? Is that what all you Glaswegian divits caa’ it?
Is Sunny still sleeping? I’ll go and uncover his cage when Ah hae hud mah coffee.

MissScarlett said...

My fingers are poised to place immediate calls to the ASCPA and then to PETA. I certainly hope for Ian's sake that he keeps his hands off that bird.

Also, it would be fun to watch Sunny take on Ian, but I doubt that the comic censors would allow that much bloodshed in the strip.

KitKat said...

Since Sunny has free rein in flying around the apartment, he has a special way to take revenge on Ian - look out below!

MissScarlett said...

Hmmm....we never see children at Charterstone unless they are visiting for a short time. I guess I always assumed it was some sort of retirement community, so they were allowed to refuse to rent to people with kids. Now I find myself wondering how Toby and Ian came to live at such a place. Did Toby ever want children? Well, she'll never have to worry about potty training Sunny. Not gonna happen.

KitKat said...

Right you are, MissScarlet. Ian's hair and/or beard would have been my preferred target, but at least Sunny bombed Chinbeard's FAVORITE shoes.

Maybe Toby's art knowledge can help her design parrot diapers. (I wouldn't be surprised if they already exist!)

meg said...

Well, to quote Sunny: HA HA HA! This is kind of rich: I’ve just been watching a Downton Abbey movie (A New Era). In this movie an actor admits his birth name was Quentin Wellbottom.

meg said...

No, sorry! It’s Quentin Sidebottom!

KitKat said...

@meg, Quentin Roundbottom would be even better.

And on to today's strip: "CRASH." "OH NO!..." (as the palm tree breaks through the Camerons' window).

Anonymous said...

Ian is justifiably fed up. (I wish I could do his accent like meg does.) He gives Toby an ultimatum:

"I've had enough of this, Woman! It's either me or that &#%* bird! What's it gonna be?"

When he gets no response, he adds, "Well?"

Toby channels her inner Jack Benny and says, "I'm thinking! I'm thinking!"

-- Scottie

Anonymous said...

Ian Fatbottom. -- S.

MissScarlett said...

Shall we take bets on how long it will take these two to learn how to latch the cage door?

meg said...

Wee birdie in th’ sky-
Ye drapped white @#$& in mah eye!
Ah dinnae laugh, Ah dinnae cry-
Ah jist thanked th’ laird ‘at cows cannae fly.

KitKat said...

@meg, is that Robbie Burns?

Sunny isn't so smart. We see today that he doesn't know an s from an x.

Anonymous said...

Aaannnnndddd we've officially crossed the line from ridiculous to pretty stupid. And it probably won't end there. Maybe tomorrow Sunny will call Ian a supercilious wazzock with delusions of adequacy. -- Scottie

meg said...

KitKat: I don’t know who wrote it- it’s just one scrap of the foolish minutiae which resides in the grade school portion of my brain. I merely provided the translation!




KitKat said...

Your translations are always jewels, @meg, so keep them coming!

Toby, no one believes your "Brits on PBS made him do it" suggestion. We all know you taught Sunny to say that because you're fed up with Ian's chauvinism and bluster. That's passive aggressive, Toby.

Anonymous said...

Okay, friends, it's time to take one of my my pet peeves out for a walk.

"I wonder if he picked that up from PBS" is not a question. It is a declarative sentence. Therefore, the question mark at the end of it is wrong Wrong WRONG!!!

[breathes heavily into paper bag until calming down] -- Scottie

KitKat said...

@Scottie, I share that pet peeve - argh. I'll breathe in a paper bag too. BTW, have you, and the rest of you Worthiverse stalwarts, noted an epidemic of the misuse of "literally"? People seem to be using it at the drop of a hat for emphasis, e.g., "I literally read that book in three days" (egad).

Today's strip: If Wanders was here to manage the Charterstone Jukebox, I would request "Torn Between Two Lovers."

meg said...

I totally agree with Toby about Brit tv being the source of Sunny’s salty language. I mean, have you seen ‘Call the Midwife’? Those nuns can swear like nobody’s business! And as for Miss Marple, she could teach Samuel L. Jackson a word or two. But, oh, no, it couldn’t possibly be Ian who taught Sunny the Seven Words you Can’t Say on TV…

Anonymous said...

Hi, friends, fauxprof here. I’ve been having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit, but watching my favorite Christmas movie (after having a good cry over “The Princess Bride”) I was able to cobble together my annual carol. So, with apologies to Irving Berlin—not to mention Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen—here goes:

I’m dreaming of a Worth Christmas
Life seems more easy when it’s bland
Where the muffins glisten
And good dogs listen
To psychic kids throughout the land

I’m dreaming of a Worth Christmas
Though Dawn and Wilbur are a mess
But they feel okey-dokey
At karaoke
And seem to mind their troubles less

Yes, I’m dreaming of a Worth Christmas
We still can hope for peace on earth
I will gift you all a bit of mirth
And may all our Christmases be Worth

Love you all - fauxprof

KitKat said...

@fauxprof, your song is hilarious (glistening muffins!), inventive, and heartfelt. Thank you so much! Remember, we denizens of the Worthiverse are in this together. May your heart be light. Love, KitKat.

Anonymous said...

@fauxprof, thanks for your annual Christmas carol. It's wonderful! "And good dogs listen/to psychic kids throughout the land"! That made me laugh! Good to see you back in the spirit! -- Scottie

P.S. "My name is Dawn Weston. You dumped my father. Prepare to bless the day."

Anonymous said...

"I'm sorry, Taylor, I won't be able to attend your art show opening tonight. Something suddenly came up!"

"Oh, Toby, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll miss you. I hope it's not too serious."

"I'm afraid it is, Taylor. My pet parrot and Ian hate each other!"

"Say what, now?"

"Ian and Sunny -- I call him Sunny -- they've been screaming insults at each other for two days!"

"And you're blowing off my big night for THAT?"

"I knew you'd understand."

"Oh, I understand. I undertand all to well. And let me finally come clean -- that ceramic crap you pass off as art is an embarrassment to the entire concept of art. GOOD . . . NIGHT!"

"Yeah, I know. That's what everybody else always says. Good luck."

-- Scottie


KitKat said...

@Scottie, you've masterfully demonstrated why Toby's only "friend" is Mary. Very good!

The Cameron tree and Mary's tree are the most boring, unappealing Christmas trees I've ever seen.

toytuba said...

Been looking forward to the carol - certainly not a disappointment!! You guys have all been merry (and patient) in keeping up with the Worth world. I wish you all a happy Christmas and a good 2026.

meg said...

I used to enjoy attempting carol parodies. But fauxprof is so darn good at it, I have given it up. Brava! you are the champ.

KitKat said...

Wishing my Worthiverse friends a happy Christmas and a peaceful, healthy New Year. @toytuba, it's good to hear from you!

Now we know why Mary decorated her tree with brown and blue ornaments: they match her and Jeff's sweaters. How non-festive!

Thunderheels said...

Merry Christmas to all. I hope everyone has a great day and the new year brings joy, happiness, and continued snark.

hmmm said...

Thank you, fauxprof, for providing us with a good laugh! I am not generally a big fan of Christmas carols but yours are always gems! If only KM possessed a fraction of your talent!
Merry Christmas to all my Worthiverse peeps. Good to see you toytuba and Thunderheels! Happy New Year everyone!

meg said...






Jeff and Mary gaze, in a daze, at their stylish Christmas tree, wondering when the guests will show up. Mary notices her answering machine is lit up like a,,,,a…., well, a Christmas tree.
Mary’s messages:

Mary, it’s Wilbur. Sorry we can’t make it for dinner. Willa, or is it Stellan?…any way, a fish, seems to be unwell, so I’ll have to stay here to keep an eye on her/?him. Dawn is hanging out at the bowling alley with a bunch of her shallow friends. Maybe I can come over for a turkey sandwich later? Ciao!

Hello, Mary? Saul here. Saul WYNTER. Eve and I can’t make it to your place for dinner. My….er…Lumbago (yeah, that’s the ticket!) my lumbago is troubling me, and Eve is suffering from post coital ennui, and Max and Greta are engaged in a death match over the last crumb of kibble, and (click!) Mary, are you there?

Hello, Mary, it’s Toby! Yeah, SO WHUT? Guess you and Beardo MacStuffin aren’t coming, either? No, Mary, we’re not, but we’d love some left- (CL
Jeff: Is the Bum Boat open today?



Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS;l

LouiseF said...

Happy, happy and Merry Merriness, everyone! Let's hope Toby stops blaming PBS for her parrot problems. They have enough to deal with....

KitKat said...

It's Boxing Day, so Ian's contemplating putting Sunny into a box and "taking him for a drive."

Merry Christmas, Thunderheels!

@meg, your insights into Mary and her "friends" is always spot-on and hilarious. My excuse to Mary would be fatigue after watching the two-hour "Call the Midwife" Christmas special, which exhausted me by jumping back and forth between Poplar and Hong Kong - whew! With a drunken drag number tossed in for good measure!

LouiseF said...

"Beardo MacStuffin", great meg! And I love how much he is bothered by being called a "pomous axxe".

LouiseF said...

If M Wanders were still doing the annual Worthy Awards, I'm thinking he would have to make room for the late breaking entry of "Ian recreates an iconic scene from Hitchcock's 'The Birds'". Good work, JB!

KitKat said...

JB one-ups Hitchcock by giving Ian blue skin. Meanwhile, Toby snores on, perhaps sleeping off a pre-NYE bender.

meg said...

Would it be wrong if I said that Ian’s expression looks as though he is staring at a bloody horse’s head in his bed (a la The Godfather)?

KitKat said...

What an unexpected development "the next morning" (no horse's head, @meg). What cat wouldn't relish being taken by a strange man to a strange apartment, and then expected to attack an aggressive parrot? Heh heh....

Anonymous said...

It would serve Ian right if his evil plan backfires and Vixen and Sunny set aside their natural differences and join forces against him. Hiiiiiisssssssssssssss! -- Scottie

meg said...

I think that Libby has just been dethroned from her position of “world’s ugliest comic cat.” I may be mistaken, but as Lady Bracknell says, “I am never wrong.”

hmmm said...

Well, whaddaya know? I always thought Toby was the dumb one in the Cameron family.

KitKat said...

Hey neighbor lady, what about a litter box, cat food, and water? Vixen might get more than temperamental without those, especially the first.

I see your point, @meg. JB is either poor at drawing cats or she dislikes them intensely. However, Vixen does have two eyes.

hmmm said...

How many days before we find Vixen inside the cage and Sunny outside it, cackling "Pompous Caxx"?

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, snark-tank friends and Mr. Wanders! May we all have a better year that Toby and Ian's marriage is shaping up to become. -- Scottie

KitKat said...

A Happy, peaceful New Year to my Worthiverse friends and to Wanders, the founder of the feast (thanks for the reminder, @Scottie).

Someone call the ASPCA and/or PETA and report Ian Cameron, stat!

MissScarlet said...

I’m out of the loop here, but I must mention that houses in CA always have screens on the windows. So, I don’t know what Ian thinks he’s trying to do here. But I can easily imagine that Vixen is about to have a new and unexpected adventure as an outdoor cat and Ian will have some explaining to do.

hmmm said...

How serendipitous. Just so happens that Mrs. Threadgoode has always dreamed of adopting a parrot as company for Vixon but hasn't been able to convince Medicare to pay for one.

meg said...

I can’t wait to see the frosty reception Mrs. Threadgoode gives Ian when she is called pompous old axx. She will rightly or wrongly attribute Sunny’s salty vocabulary to Professor Cameron, not to Masterpiece Theater. “Hey, Siegfried, Farmer Hopkins’ big axx is in labor.” “Too bad for him, my back is bad and Tristan is too drunk to deliver.”

KitKat said...

@meg, your "Forbidden Broadway"-style parodies are inspired!

By Wednesday, Sunny and Vixen will have refined their plan to push Chinbeard out the window.

LouiseF said...

Considering that Ian woke up from his parrot dream turning blue, I'm guessing his behavior this week can be attributed to oxygen deprivation. No othr possible explanation.

meg said...

Make note of today’s Mary Worth, as the origin of Charterstone’s Interspecies Flying and Scurrying Circus plays out before our eyes. Folks, Ed Sullivan wishes he had lived to see this day. Stay tuned for Dancing With the Stars Special Critters Edition.

KitKat said...

@meg, you brought up Ed Sullivan, and I immediately thought of Topo Gigio ("Oh Eddie!"). (Kids, you can research that.)

It looks like Ian and Toby are crammed into a twin bed.

MissScarlett said...

I have enjoyed catching up these last few days. My initial reaction was incredulous disbelief. But now I’ve decided that these off-the-wall strips are entertaining in their own very weird way. I especially appreciated a blue Ian. He looks like a giant Papa Smurf.

hmmm said...

It appears that the Camerons have entered the Twilight Zone and their twin size bed is shrinking. In today's first panel, Ian is now reclining on Toby's lap. So engrossed in reading the insert included with her new prescription, Alprazolam (it's already kicked in), she hasn't noticed what's happening even though she's now forced to read with her head on his shoulder.

KitKat said...

@hmmm, you've figured Toby out, hahaha.

The Camerons have overlooked Charterstone HOA Regulation MW-5862-UH-OH, which prohibits keeping decorated Christmas trees in units after January 1. Mr. Allora will be removing it, by force if necessary, by tomorrow. (I don't believe the tree is helping Ian cope with "that nuisance bird." He's actually hoping Sunny will chew on the plastic needles and get a tummy ache, or worse.)

MissScarlet said...

Wouldn't it be easier on everyone if Ian just cooked and ate the bird now, and be done with it?

LouiseF said...

The summary strip this Sunday promises to be full of unpredictable predictability. That Darn Parrot! Where is Disney when you need them?

KitKat said...

SQUAWK! Smoke! Hey pompous axx, call 911!!

Bill the Butcher said...

I still live on in the hope that someday Wanders will come out of retirement. The Pompous Axx story must be sorely tempting for him.

MissScarlett said...

Gotta admit, I didn't see Sunny turning into Lassie and saving the day. Guess Ian will have to eat crow instead.

hmmm said...

Ian: "Toby, the bloody tree is on fire! Quick! Grab that gallon of water you're always sipping from and throw it on the flames!"
Toby: "Um... Ian..."

KitKat said...

"What are you trying to tell me, Lassie? Timmy fell down the well again?!"

Anonymous said...

And it came to pass that Ian loved the bird. He doted on his feathered friend and took him everywhere. He read to him and fed him the finest seed. And they laughed. Ian was so besotted that he never noticed Toby's jealous rage. Until it was too late. -- Scottie

meg said...

Scottie! ROLFL (or something).

hmmm said...

Priceless, Scottie, priceless! ... "and they laughed." And so did I; all day!

meg said...

And it came to pass in those days that the Widow Threadgoode signaled her return to Charterstone and its surrounds, and that her intentions were to reclaim one Vixen Threadgoode and cherish her at the Threadgoode abode.
But, lo, in the excitement of the raging inferno, Vixen had fled to safety, and Sunny alone had noticed. No matter how often “Cat! Gone!” was chirped, no notice was taken nor action initiated.

Toby, witless, and Ian, nearly so, fell into a minor state of panic until Ian recalled the existence of Libby the cat. “Hullo, can Ay borrow yer moggy for a bit?” Will Good Widow Threadgoode notice the substitution? Stay tuned.


.

KitKat said...

@Scottie and @meg, you've taken us into an exalted literary landscape - huzzah! Wanders would be delighted. (Maybe he checks in occasionally to see how things are; I hope that's the case.)

Is awkwardly pouring a mug of milk on a defective Christmas-tree light an olde Scottish remedy?

meg said...

KitKat: It’s in the song: “We’ll lift a cup of warm milk next, and pour it on th’ tree.”

LouiseF said...

Turns out the animals in this strip have more (cliched) personality than the humans. Nice anthropomorphism, KM.

LouiseF said...

And who leaves their Christmas tree up on January 11, let alone turned on all night. Sounds like the work of someone who fell asleep with a tumbler of schnapps in their hand...

KitKat said...

The milk toss not only took care of the smoking light, it changed the colors of the tree decorations - a Cameron Charterstone miracle!

The strip published in today's Plain Dealer (Cleveland; Advance Media) is the January 14 one. Spoiler alert: Ian and Toby are still in their night clothes and Sunny is still squawking "Ha Ha Ha!"

MissScarlett said...

It finally dawns on Ian that Toby is entirely too ditzy to be responsible for anything as important as smoke detectors.

MissScarlett said...

Don't smoke detectors make a noise when the batteries are failing? Perhaps they just thought that noise was Sunny going "chirp".

hmmm said...

Uh-oh. Once again, KM has neglected to do her homework. Not sure in what year the law went into effect in CA, but for many years, condominiums have required hardwired smoke and fire alarms. Battery units are only considered "backup" if the power goes out, and even the battery units (for at least the last 10 years) must be of the type that function with an inaccessible, non-replaceable battery.

Anonymous said...

Ian is understanding and magnanimous. "That's okay, you helpless bimbo, I'LL do it from now so that you don't kill us all."

"Oh thank you, Ian. You should be handling all these manly jobs yourself anyway instead of little old me, my big, strong man."

Sunny chimes in. "Helpless bimbo, awwwk!"

Smiles all around. -- Scottie

KitKat said...

@hmmm, thanks for supplying the reality check. I'm shocked - SHOCKED - that KM didn't do her homework.

@Scottie, thanks for providing a big laugh! Helpless bimbo and pompous axx - what a couple. And, they solved their problem without the help of Mary and her muffins!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, KitKat! And BTW, I just noticed that last Monday, The Plain Dealer published an entire page of Wednesday comics. It was the second comics page of the Extra section. I'll bet the almighty A.I. had something to do with it. -- Scottie

Anonymous said...

P.S. So today The PD is running all the Monday comics on that same page. They blamed a "technical error." Fortunately, this story line and others (e.g., Judge Parker and Rex Morgan, M.D.) move so slowly that it doesn't matter much. -- Scottie

MissScarlett said...

It looks like Sunny's gonna take a bite out of Ian's nose. We can only hope.

meg said...

Assuming, perhaps reasonably, that there is overlap between watchers of ‘All Creatures Great and Small’ and readers of Mary Worth, I can reliably report that a sick parrot has a major part in season Six, episode five, of All Creatures. Fun fact: a sick parrot will pluck his own feathers and produce green scat. And this particular parrot said ‘silly arse’ and ‘bugger’ over and over.

LouiseF said...

I expect a round of bird jokes every day for the rest of the week. Let's work a parrot into "Why did the chicken cross the road?" To get away from the sick parrot that had just pooped on its head....

KitKat said...

So this is it, Ian and Sunny watching TV together and likely getting cracker crumbs all over the sofa? HA HA HA! Since Toby mentioned PBS, it's possible the Cameron Family of Three will watch "All Creatures," though Toby may worry that Sunny will pick up more salty language from that Dales parrot.

@Scottie, thanks. AI certainly doesn't do proofreading (alas, a lost art). I notice typos, missing words, etc. every day.

MissScarlett said...

It's weird that they never keep Sunny in his cage. If they aren't careful they may find their polygon.

KitKat said...

@MissScarlet, I concur. Early on in the parrot plot, Toby spent a lot of money at a pet store for an oversized cage and lots of other stuff to set up Sunny in the Cameron "spare room." We've seen nothing of any of that. Has Ian even noticed the room or the big credit-card charge?

meg said...

Enter Mary Worth. She’s just heard that the Cameron apartment has a SPARE room, and they’ve only been paying the mandatory HOA fees for a one bedroom. This means war.

hmmm said...

Okaaaayyy... So... Ian now adores Sunny because he alerted them to a smoking Christmas tree light. But, explain to me, why does Sunny now adore Ian? One lousy sunflower seed?

MissScarlett said...

It's not unusual for TV shows or movies to use phone conversations to convey information and further the plot. But comic strips usually spring for face-to-face action, which naturally might take a little more time. Is KM trying to speed up the story? That would be a first, I think. Is Brigman sick of drawing Mary Worth. More believable, actually.

KitKat said...

"My two best loved ones," huh? They can't both be best, Toby; is Ian better than Sunny, or vice versa? I bet Mary is on your most-deferred-to list.

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, the woman is positively ecstatic. Time to cut back on the gummies, Tobes. -- Scottie

MissScarlett said...

May we all have a smoking Christmas tree in our future. God bless us everyone!

Anonymous said...

Ian and Sunny are watching "The Adventures of Gen Whatever." In today's episode, a young woman comes upon a pay phone and screams, "OMIGOD WHAT IS THAT THING? IS IT A BOMB?????" Panic ensues. -- Scottie

Anonymous said...

Later that evening, Ian snarls. "Not now, Toby! Can't you see that Sunny and I are playing chess? Go bother somebody else." -- Scottie

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