Mary Worth 3759

Ted Confey was a villain. Ted Miller was a lech. Ned Fletcher was a cad. Why should we assume Ed is any better, just because he drops a consonant from his name.

Mary Worth 3758

Now Wilbur can offer a quick apology, they can sit down and sing "Reunited" by Peaches and Herb (again), and let the cat and dog howl to their hearts' content. Wilbur's an entirely new man.

Mary Worth 3757

Pierre's face says it all: Aide-moi. S'il vous plaît, madame, sauvez-moi de cet imbécile.

Mary Worth 3756

Estelle is really bad at break ups.

Mary Worth 3755

 

"Dear Wendy, my girlfriend dumped me, again. It is the second time I've been dumped twice by two different women. I'd like to set a new personal-best and get dumped three times, but to do that I need to convince her to take me back again. How do you recommend I go about it? - Sincerely, Karaoke Slim"

Mary Worth 3754

Carol, if you keep holding your phone with your fingers on the screen, you may accidentally hang up on someone. You need to lean your phone on three fingers like Wil-<click>-bur...

Carol's to-do list:

• Block caller 
• Find new dog park 
• Find new dog beach 
• Find new pet store

Wilbur's to-do list: 

• Get new chick magnet

Mary Worth 3753

Aw, yes, Dawn's John Waters phase. And Wilbur's prize from the county fair pie eating contest.

Mary Worth 3752

Don't worry, Wilbur. Time wounds all heels.

Mary Worth 3751

I did this to a woman once, and she ended up marrying me. I'm just saying, you can recover.

Mary Worth 3750

Wilbur is really struggling without his chick magnet. It was Carol who suggested not bringing the dogs to dinner. Perhaps she knew it was her kryptonite, and the only way she could break free of Wilbur's diabolical scheme was to separate him from his frenchie. Hopefully today her "Um" will be more effective.