Mary Worth 3952

Yes, Jared, cats have it easier, but they don't live as long, they pee in a sandbox, and they can't drive a car... Wait a minute! I forgot about Toonces, the Driving Cat!

Hearing Phil Hartman's voice-over makes me happy and sad. I loved Phil Hartman. When he was on SNL, he sent me this photo:

Mary Worth 3951

If you're too young to remember Henrietta Pussycat, here's a link. But if you're too young to remember Henrietta Pussycat, really, why are you reading Mary Worth?

Mary Worth 3950

I was really hoping Jess and I could double date with you and whoever you fall in love with next!

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Because Jared is making so much more money as a physician's assistant than he was as a medical assistant in 2017, he can now afford to keep re-painting his car.

2022:

2020:

2017:

Mary Worth 3948

I was starting to worry these two would never break up. He would hardly be a "Dawn's Boyfriend" if he didn't break up with her. But this time, she deserves it, slobbering over boys at the zoo and dancing with other men without telling Jared. Who wouldn't say "sob"?

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Problem solved. Now Jared is free to date any patient he wants. But soon, I am sure they both will come to their senses... Dawn when she can't find anyone to see hilarious Star Wars parodies with, and Jared as Jess's abusive boyfriend pounds his head into the sidewalk.

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Once again, the quote in context is a little deeper than the comic strip really deserves. I was going to paste the poem into a Star Wars scroll because it would have been hilarioius. But I couldn't really do that to such a beautiful poem.

Mary Worth 3945

"You don't own me, Jared! I own YOU! And there better not be someone else or I'm going to go all Shauna! on you!"

Mary Worth 3944

Wait. Who is TJ? Does Jared have a friend? Surprising.

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The Princess Leia Squad has returned on the cross-town bus and is coming over to save the day.