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And what about the woman in the miniskirt and go-go boots? She's totally coming on to Mr. Blue Slacks. And that palm tree! It's totally coming on to that boy palm tree. And the bunt cake is coming on to the plate of cookies! Not to mention Toby in her booty shorts... in fact, the only person who does not seem to be coming on to anything is Nola Wolvenson.

Megan had a few rejections from the condo board, but they finally agreed to her suggestion of Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. A song with a message for the Worthiverse.

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Mary Worth 1,217

POOL PARTY! With flirting! But the dress code has certainly decayed to a new low. I mean, is that man wearing an actual swimming suit? But don't worry, Toby. You don't have to keep Ian under wraps because Ian can't fit under wraps!

After consulting with the condo board, the winner of our Not-A-Real-Contest, and the reader whose day was most Mary-like, is Megan! But gosh, it was a tough decision. Mary Worth has really influenced so many of us in so many ways. We really are wonderful people, and when I read about your weekend, my faith in our species is restored.

Megan, send me an email at maryworthandme@gmail.com with your Jukebox request. All requests are subject to Condo Board approval, so you may want to listen to the jukebox for a few hours to see what kinds of things they like. (For new readers, the jukebox is located in the right column, down just a bit.)

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And each of them actually IS different from panel to panel... so that's cool too. I don't have much to say, except nice mug. Now everyone go out and make a difference, okay? Do something today that Mary would do if she could be there herself.

Let's have another Not-A-Real-Contest Contest. Let me know what you do today that Mary would have done, and the Condo Board will choose a winner who will get to nominate a song for the Charterstone Jukebox.

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Mary Worth 1,215

Yes, Emily, and try not to get kidnapped again. Because, of course, you realize it was your own fault.

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Well, it turns out that it wasn't the head of Wayne the Kidnapper (severed as Bill the Manager assisted the police with his kitchen cleaver) in Mr. Smith's bag after all... Just some fruit. Of course, Bill, Bree and Ronnie didn't get as large a fruit basket as Mary Worth got. They each got only a pear. So all is right in the world.

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Well, as Mary Worth lounges in her Forever Lazy, we can either expect a new story, or Emily's family is coming to find out how Emily can become a model. I mean, Mary said she knows somebody.

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Yes, miracles like you, Mary.


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You DO read all kinds of stories in the news. Including this one about a waitress who identified a kidnapped child and stalled the kidnapper with a free dessert.

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I'm thrilled that Mary Worth has passed judgment and approved of Emily's parents. Though I'm not sure how she did it since she doesn't seem to have ever been at the police station.

And great move by the police to haul Emily down to the station to visit with addicts and prostitutes while she waits for her goodly parents to arrive, instead of letting her wait at Diner with a free bowl or rainbow swirl ice cream. I wonder if they took her down to the hoosegow in the same car as Wayne the Kidnapper.

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Mary Worth 1,209

It'd be nice if we even had a regular compass. Which way is the shore?

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