Oh, for the love of Pete. It is taking Mary longer to introduce this story than it took Drew to uproot his entire life and move to Vietnam.
My forecast for the rest of the week:
Tuesday: "You see, Toby, I'm going to tell you a story about my past. Sometimes things happen in our past that shape who we are today."
Wednesday: "I hope I won't bore you with this story, but it is important for you to hear it if you want to understand my compulsion for niceness and why I am so wonderful."
Thursday: "Toby, without hearing my story, you'll never really know why I am the way I am. It's a long story, though. Are you sure you want to hear my story?"
Friday: "On second thought, this story is so shameful. I really can't bear to tell you."
Saturday: "Toby, let's go back to the pool party and make a new friend."
Of course, there will be a lot more exclamation points.