Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Mary Worth 303

I think it would be interesting to compare national suicide statistics with this story's plot progression. I for one wanted to be put out of my misery this morning. Of course you'd probably want to check worldwide statistics because, as you know, with technology today, Mary Worth crosses all borders. No wonder the U.S. is despised abroad.

Today's Full Strip.

14 comments:

shandyowl said...

This is unnecessarily and excrutiatingly tedious. It is now even boring pointing out how boring Toby is.

Could we not have experienced all this from Ian's point of view? Just think of all the eccentric facial hair and unkempt coiffeurs we could have been treated to at the conference, to say nothing of the corduroy and oatmeal tweed apparel. Leather elbow patches anyone?

Then, just as everything seemed to be going so well as the academics gathered round the pool for cocktails, Ian takes a call from a tearful Toby and learns that she has been taken for 18 grand. The scarlet face, the apopleptic rage, the interrobangs...

But no, that would have been too much like entertainment.

Toots McGee said...

This is so monotonous that the curtains have broken out in some sort of boredom inspired rash.

spike said...

Come on now, Kids! ethel mertz warned us all about the tedium we were letting ourselves in for about three weeks ago--and don't say you can't stop admiring the train wreck that is this plot line. ZAF!

maconmemad said...

Yes, mind-numbingly boring. But in this slow motion world you have to look for what ever amusment you can find. Does anyone find the various contortions Toby is pacing her body through to be as weird as I think they are? Is she doing some sort of exotic misery dance/spinning dervish reel? She needs to be careful because she'll be out more than 18 grand if she dislocates a shoulder or even worse snaps her neck!

Anonymous said...

I think Karen Moy wants to get out of her contract ASAP and is hoping that the tedium of telling us all about the dangers lurking on the World Wide Interweb--dangers that are already established facts and well-known to just about everyone except the demographic of her most serious readers--will spark an uproar of outrage that threatens the continued survival of Marth Worth. Or she just hates her audience and wants to subject us to the most painful experience possible. The Ron Amalfi jealousy episode didn't do it. But Toby is proving to be the perfect instrument of blunt force.

Either way, I want her (Karen Moy) off the strip *NOW*! I nominate wanders to take over as writer.

--wheelhead

contaminated orange juice said...

I say we write it by committee. Shandyowl definitely gets all the Ian scenes, there's just such amusingly vivid loathing there for the fat blowhard that I'm sure readership would double. I would fear for Toby, but at least there would be dramatic tension!

As for me, I want the scenes where Mary draws the curtains closed and her true form slithers out of its skin Mary-suit to wreck havoc on an our poor, unsuspecting little world ...

boojum said...

Sorry, wheelhead and contaminated orange juice, but I must disagree. Mary Worth is a work of untrammeled genius. The current plot line, in which Karen Moy elaborates on the themes first proposed in the seminal nineteenth-century Russian novel Oblomov is merely the latest case in point. You'll remember that Ivan Goncharov famously had his protagonist spend the first 150 pages in bed, doing nothing.

Moy goes even further -- she has made me, the reader, unable to rise from my own. That's powerful writing!

maconmemad said...

Genius indeed boojum! Moy has me tearing into the daily paper, full of yesterday's news, just to get the daily laugh from the exploits at Santa Royal! I have a life... I honestly do, but Mary Worth and this site are just too much fun (for free!) to resist!

pandagrandma said...

Macon: I know...at least it's serving one purpose -- and that is keeping our imaginations and our mind skills sharp thinking of our own devious and hilarious plot continuums.

Mary Worth knows that mental stimulus helps older folks avoid Alzheimer's and dementia. (At least I HOPE the older readers are receiving that benefit and this boring glacial pace is not actually promoting their further mental decline.)

pandagrandma said...

BTW, doesn't it look like Toby's about to throw that phone down and make a run for the border?

maconmemad said...

That's just it PG. What is she doing. It looks like a combination of the twist, the bunny hop and run for the hills. Holding the phone to her right ear with her left hand with the right hand free... yes very UN-natural. Twister without the mat?

Nathan said...

Oh, Karen Moy...WHY?! Why did you do this to us? Around three or four eternities ago, when we first discovered that Toby had become (or was about to become) a victim of identity theft, we loved it. When Ian returned to us at last, we were ecstatic (or at least, I was). And when you showed us Ian's disturbing upper body, we were...well, disturbed. But now, just when things were looking remotely interesting, you went and totally killed the story, stalled for weeks, and bored us all to the point of actually considering suicide. So...why?

Do you really hate us all THAT much?

spike said...

Nate, Nate, Nate! Chill, Man! There's at least another week or so of this Zen-ness on the way. Just go with the flow, roll with the punches, [Insert trite phrase here], sit back, just relax and enjoy!!!

Nathan said...

Spike-

Okay... I'm definitely cool with the whole "trite phrase" thing...but exactly what am I supposed to be sitting back and enjoying here? Ah, well...we still love you, Mary, even if you are excruciatingly boring sometimes.

On the plus side, though, Mary's *bound* to appear sometime in the next month. I can't wait!