Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Mary Worth 330

Dear Dream Diary,

I had the nightmare again last night. I was wandering through the Santa Royale Forbidden Jungle of Fear. I was filled with such emptiness and blackness. I leaned against something to steady myself, and I nearly swooned when I discovered I was leaning against a casket! I opened it, and inside was my Identity, dead as a door nail and laughing at me. I began to run. Time moved so slowly that the Santa Royale Glacier caught up with me from behind. But that's not the worst part: Mary Worth was there, and she kept trying to convince me that I was married to an old, fat, pompous man with a chin beard. Then I woke up, and it was true! Oh, save me dream diary, save me!

9 comments:

shandyowl said...

"I'd like to believe that, Mary but you simply don't understand how much of a colossal jerk Ian is."

As always, Mary's advice is sound: you don't keep secrets like this from your husband. No, you tell him all about your financial fauxs pas in order to gain his trust so that he won't suspect you of having a string of casual affairs.

Carol said...

if you have seperate accounts, how do you have "our" money? Now I'm imagining Chinbeard carefully figuring out the bills - Tobey having to pay more for water, as she has to wash her lusterous locks. Who uses more closet space?

boojum said...

wanders:

Toby's Dream Diary is brilliant! You have my undying respect.

At first I was a bit confused, as I thought you were saying that Mary was the Santa Royale Glacier. (That icy touch in panel one. Brrrrrr!!) Then I saw the actual glacier in panel two, zipping past the action in this story line.

That seems about right.

I have to agree with Mary, though -- and that's a sentence I never thought I'd type. I don't think Chinbeard could think less of Toby. After this plot, I know I couldn't.

SchrodingersDuck said...

Why, oh dead God why, are Mary and Toby both staring straight into the camera in panel 2? The only explanation I can come up with is that they're actually having their conversation via a mirror. Either that, or Mary's using her evil third eye to stare out of the page and STRAIGHT INTO MY SOUL HELP IT'S TOO DISTURBING

Birdie said...

She's worried about the guy who said "Toby Dear! I met the most fascinating speaker on linguistics and pedagogy today! Her seminar exceeded my expectations!...The convention has been excellent so far! Such a gathering of learned minds!" on Sept 8.

I don't think she has to worry. He's probably already run off with the learned mind.

Anonymous said...

TOBY TOBY...You are not out one cent, the Bank of Santa Royale is reversing the charges! Or were your reeling too much this morning when the helpful customer service rep explained that to you? Ian is not going to get upset, when he returns from Canada, er, Chicago.

Nathan said...

Yes, Toby! There's no way you could ever tell Ian about your falling for the ol' "Irgent" phishing scam...after all, he might start thinking that you're stupid or something.

I hate to say it, but I think it might be just the tiniest bit too late for that...

(And run, Toby run! The glacier is catching up!)

Anonymous said...

That's not a glacier, that's the mound where Mary dumps anyone who cross her.

She's just showing you the mound this time, Toby...next time, don't make her regret referring you to her friends.

Anonymous said...

I am more disturbed by panel one, where we see a faceless shadowy Mary with arms upraised behind faceless Toby .... about to push her into the open casket? And in panel two, we the viewers are looking up from the abyss into Toby's deer-caugh-in-the-headlights expression as Mary comes ever closer behind her...