Oh, Lynn, wake up! You're the one with the problem, which you'd realize if you'd just open your eyes and see that while you were on your walk together, Mary Worth carefully led you to the Ice Rink of Despair. The clues are all around you! Just ask yourself, "How big was that Zamboni? Are you on the top row, or sitting rink-side? Why are there only seat backs, but no seats in this arena? How many people can this arena hold, and how big are they? Some must be huge!" Those giant seats are for the big demons. Lynn, put your skates back on and get out on the Ice of Despondency where you will be skating for the next three lifetimes or Mary Worth story lines, whichever comes first.Today's Full Strip
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And here we have Mary Worth in a nutshell - Frank is wrong and so is Lynn; in fact, everybody except Mary is wrong. All the time.
But not Chester.
Lynn, the solution is simple. Skate over to the Taco Bell kiosk and apply for a cashier job. No pressure there. And while you're at it, Mary has finally left her tiny purse unattended in the seat next to her. Grab it and run!
wanders: THANK YOU. Those 2-dimensional seats have been driving me insane!
Mary and Lynn have spent the last week jockying for better seats in a completely empty stadium. On 12/19, they were seated on the ice, with three rows behind them. On 12/20, they had found seats with taller backs. Sunday, 12/21 found them, in panel 3, on the fourth and top row; in panel 4, three more rows of seats appeared behind them; panels 5 and 6 shifted to the featureless void of shadows; in panel 7 they were back on the ice (and back in 3-D), but suddenly lifted into the air to look down on the ice. Still disgruntled, they moved on 12/22 back to the top row. Today's exciting installment finds them first in the top row, then high up in the press box -- perhaps because the stadium itself has collapsed into two very ugly dimensions.
To their credit, they have done all this without a single break in their conversation, or losing Mary's damned purse. They give no sign they're even aware it's happening. But it's no wonder, I suppose, that their conversation -- ironically -- has moved nowhere during the same time.
It is said in Dante's Inferno that the most center ring -- the core of Hell itself -- is filled with ice, not fire.
We have, at last, arrived at Mary's home turf -- powered, unsurprisingly, by the grief and tears of an innocent virgin.
This concludes your tour of the underworld with me, your host, Sean Finnery. Next time: Why do the mighty ancient Gods of Shaggoth fear Mary Worth? The answer could be a delicious casserole recipe!
wanders: I wish you and Mrs. wanders, as well of ALL the MW&M faithful, a very lovely holiday season! BUT will Mary have the time to acknowledge it? She's gonna need a LOT of time to find her way out of the window factory that she and Lynn seemingly stumbled upon. Will a MW Christmas message be published in June?
I was wondering myself how they would shoehorn in a Christmas message for 12/25's strip. Last year, Mary heartlessly allowed that poor dog to think he had found a new home. This year's bitter teenfest will be halted in order for Mary to wish us as wonderful a holiday as she's having in New England.
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