Friday, August 7, 2009

Mary Worth 540

When Mary Worth referred to Lawrence as a "World Famous Lecturer," she may have been misled. I've spent a number of days attending Peter Lowe's "Get Motivated" Seminars. I've heard great speakers like Mary Tyler Moore, Christopher Reeve, Rudy Giuliani, Colin Powell, Jim Lovell... and a bunch of other guys hawking get-rich-quick schemes, selling weight loss plans and convincing me to accept Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior. It's a good 'ol fashioned tent revival with celebrities. And while I couldn't say they were necessarily "world famous lecturers." They certainly did a better job filling a Venue.

Today's Full Strip

14 comments:

django said...

No wonder Lawrence doesn't want to come home. He has all those people lining up to see him ... and buy that big pink book on the corner of the table and his own wife can't stand to be home with him. (usually)

Chester (in line) said...

clap clap clap clap...the remaining audience (about 6 people, not including the busboys)goes wild!

tuffenuf said...

I sense that the blonde woman in the audience might have some enticing words for Lawrence. Why else would we even still be there to see the 5-8 people that make up his adoring audience, and his "Thank you for coming" line?

Chester said...

Why on earth would they want to form more than ONE line anyway?

"Those who want to speak to Mr. Jonis, please form two lines. The first line will meet with him, the second line will head directly to the fire exit."

Anonymous said...

Lots of pink--book covers, banners with the speaker's name--that's what I look for in a good motivational speaker/philosophic luminary. Especially when the motivational speaker/philosophical luminary is a man.

--wheelhead

TeacherPatti said...

I love how he's standing on the stage, arms spread like he's gonna take off and fly. It's like he's channeling Peter Frampton circa 1970. "Hellllooooooo Cleveland!! Are you reading to rock??? I said are you ready to ROCK?????????"

phoebes in santa fe said...

I think tuffenuf@9.38a has it figured rightly. Lawrence, not knowing Delilah is returning to him (at least for a little while, given her history)will start a little fling with the blonde. Somehow Mary will be brought in to broker an marriage reconciliation - at least until Delilah flies off again because she can't "deal with conflict"!

Vicki said...

I am going to push the blonde lady down because I want to be first in line!!! I feel an irresistable urge to get in line and buy that pink book! And here's my chance to get a LAWRENCE JONIS! autograph!! Omigosh, I'm sooo giddy.

Chester (in line) said...

Vicki, you could form a SECOND line and be first in that line you formed. That line will go nowhere, though, because the FIRST line is the line that people will wait in line for to be first to meet L. Jonis.

What happens to the people who do not choose to form ONE line? They will never get their copy of the BIG PINK BOOK. What a shame.

hia5 said...

I didn't realize that Lawrence was standing on the stage. I was positive that he had jumped onto the top of the desk under the delusion that he had just won the gold medal in some obscure Olympic sport.

Paul Pennington said...

1. If you carefully count the persons in the audience on August 6 you will find there are at least 19, although all of them seem to be grey.

2. Lawrence Jonis changed the fourth letter in his surname from an "a" to an "i". He is really one of the three Jonas Brothers (Nick, Joe, Kevin) in disguise who is due to perform in New Orleans later in the month. Not sure which Jonas Brother he is, ask Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) for the details.

3. Regarding Wanders motivational speakers he has heard, I heard them all from Mark Rudd (SDS, Weathermen II) to David Duke (KKK). Glad you heard one speak about Jesus. Hope it worked. Eternity is a long time to spend in Hell.

Anonymous said...

Teacher Patti, I thought he looked like Elmer Gantry preaching to his flock and it was time for the altar call. oh my!

Robert said...

It seems pretty obvious tomorrow's strip will feature Delilah in line getting Lawrence's autograph on her own copy of his lousy book (the free one he gave her as a present on her last birthday).

Steven W4922 said...

Oh Oh,,,I just saw the AUGUST 8TH one and I think someone has a gun.