Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mary Worth 645

This proves paternity! Look how Kurt eats!

I can hardly wait for that tender, awkward moment when Wilbur and Kurt, both thirsty after admiring Wilbur's Clark Kent days and eating a tray of deep fried pizza poppers, reach for the same glass of milk. "No, son, you drink first."

21 comments:

Paul Pennington said...

Who took this photograph? A third person? Was done using a self-timer, perhaps on a tripod standing in the water. But how would the two lovebirds been able to get in position before the shutter was activated? Was a very long remote shutter release used? Perhaps Wilbur will go into detail tomorrow about the complexities involved in producing this image.

Chester said...

Hey Dawn, you're supposed to BAKE the cookies before you serve them.

Nathan said...

Actually, this photo was taken by creepy-stalker 'Kurt Evans,' lurking in the water all those years ago with scuba gear and a blowgun. You see, 'Kurt Evans' is actually a very old man posing as Wilbur's son, who has been hunting Wilbur for 35 years now to revenge himself upon Wilbur for the actions of his great-grandfather. Unfortunately, after tracking him down when Wilbur was in college and attempting to kill him and Abby Evans several times, Wilbur finally graduated and left town, giving 'Kurt' the slip.

Finally, though, after years of fruitless searching, 'Kurt' has managed to find Wilbur on Facebook, and with the help of plastic surgery and his original spy photography from Wilbur's college days, has successfully posed as Wilbur's long-lost son. Now, secure in the Weston household, he waits only his chance to strike.

Run, Wilbur, run! Before he poisons your Wonder-n-Ham sandwiches!

tuffenuf said...

By the size of those pilings, one might to think that the photo was taken from the deck of the Queen Mary, moored to their "fishing spot".

Paul Pennington said...

Nathan, thanks for spilling the beans and blowing the whistle and exposing Kurt for the sham that he is. This is very creepy. Glad you were on board today and 'johnny on the spot' with a speedy reply.

I earnestly hope our MW writer gets the facts straight, as you have so correctly revealed them.

Robert said...

I'm confused about what type of person Abby was supposed to be. At first, she was supposed to be a cool hippie chick baring her midriff like Delilah, and now she's morphed into a floppy hat & granny gown-wearing nerd who goes fishing with even bigger nerds.

Toots McGee said...

Wilbur's slender, ladylike thumb is obscuring the three foot high stack of sandwiches piled up on the dock.

I was so happy...and full of mayonnaise and bologna.

...Misty sandwich colored memories, of the way we were.....

Duckdg said...

Abby must have been a girl of multifarious taste. I have to agree with Robert in wondering what kind of woman Abby was. A Mississippi Hippie with Wilma Flintstone pearls and Disco Hoop earrings?

I've waited a long time to hear more about this girl and am instead being offered Polaroid memories which lead to nothing but a lot of UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!

Anonymous said...

What's with the Huckleberry Finn fishing poles? And what process has caused our Wilbur to shrink in height by approximately a foot and a half?

And I'm sorry, family blog or no, the idea of Wilbur ... having an intimate moment ... just gives me an industrial-sized case of the Shivering Squicks.

Anonymous said...

It is quite likely that Wilbur does not understand the intricacies of human reproduction. How surprised he will be when Mary explains to him that merely knowing Abby was not enough to make Kurt his son. Fortunately for Dawn, Wilbur's assets are safe.

phoebes in santa fe said...

Maybe we've missed the conversation Wilbur SHOULD have had with Kurt. Questions like, oh, how old is he? Did Abby ever get married and the dates of that marriage? How many other men, i.e., possible fathers, did Kurt have the names of?

I think we can ALL think of questions WE'D ask if faced with Kurt-at-the-door.

Chester the Dog said...

Abby sure is a girl of many faces and looks. I wonder who else she "went fishing" with, changing her apperance with each new worm stuck to the hook.

Vicki said...

WTF? Wilbur looks like the dad on "Dennis the Menace" and Abby looks rather elderly! I think Abby got a photographer friend to go out in a skiff with a zoom lens and take pix of ALL her dock conquests. That's just the kind of girl she was!
The next photo they see, (and one that's bound to make Dawn's eyebrows grow even bushier!) is a close-up of... um, a splinter in Wilbur's bare behind, if you catch my drift. Kurt is about to spring a trap, methinks!

Maude Findlay said...

I'm perplexed as to what decade Abby and Wilbur first met. Kurt appears to be in his mid to late 20's, which would mean he was conceived sometime in the mid 1980's- but Wilbur looks as if he's over 60, and Abby has been portrayed as some breezy 60's hippie chick, and now like someone from the early 1900's would dress, for an afternoon of fishing. Wilbur was supposed to be a YOUNG kid in college, when he and Abby hooked up- Or, is Kurt actually supposed to be a very well preserved 45 year old? (If so, that would explain Abby's hippie clothes) If it was supposed to have been in the early to mid 1980's, how come Wilbur doesn't have a Flock of Seagulls haircut and a Hypercolor T-shirt- and why doesn't Abby have big 80's style hair and Sergio Valente jeans? I'm so confused!

katyb said...

Abby looks like she only has one fused leg (or is it tail?) under that skirt. Clearly, she's playing a nasty trick on her finned friends below.

I say Wilbur's next Facebook friend is the Little Mermaid. Or maybe Madison from "Splash."

So clearly, since Kurt is of the two-legged variety, he is not Wilbur's ... (I cannot resist) ...spawn.

duckdg said...

Wilbur was young and happy with Abby, but after she left town, he began to eat like there's no tomorrow. The mystery... the MISERY... who knew that he'd been so miserable all of these years?

I would expect Dawn to be a little upset to discover that Wilbur's life with herself and her mother had provided him little more than a distraction, that he might have been just as happy with a sandwich or two. Water under the bridge, I guess. Look at the three of them sitting there today, Dawn and Kurt both sporting Wilbur's pug nose.

Vicki said...

@Maude--I am equally confused about when this love affair took place. I keep waiting for these three Math geniuses to figure this out.
Wilbur-- "son, how old are you?
Kurt-- "I'm 26"
Wilbur-- "Oh. I graduated from State College in '72. I packed up my er.."fishing pole" and never saw your mother again after that.
Kurt-- "oh"
Dawn-- "oh"

Duckdg said...

@ Vicki ... LOL! :D

Chester (the fisherman) said...

"uh, yea, lets go FISHING together"

Kurt is a creep. Now I know whats in his backpack, lots of FISHING gear.

Dawn had better lock her bedroom door tonight.

Shivering Squicks said...

"phoebes in santa fe said...
I think we can ALL think of questions WE'D ask if faced with Kurt-at-the-door."


"How fast can I dial 9-1-1? Do I still keep that baseball bat behind the door or did Dawn move it? Will the neighbors laugh at me if my cries for help sound like a girl?.."

Tony said...

Fishing next week?! I guess there are parts of the country with less than 10" of snow on the ground.

Only Kurt does not look glum at the prospect of going fishing with dear old Dad. (Maybe it's because a second glass of milk has just materialized.)