Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Mary Worth 707

Kurt's Email: Day 2

Kids, be warned. Free spiritedness may look fun now, but it will lead you down a dark, dead-end road where you sit pathetically for years under the yellow glow of a blinking, humming streetlamp, longingly looking at scrapbooks of the good ol' days with the one that got away: a bald, overweight, ham sandwich gulping moron. And then you die.

Today's Full Strip

33 comments:

Chester the Dog said...

Kurt is a little strange i think. Carrying around pictures of his mother as a young girl and some guy he has no idea who he is.

phoebes in santa fe said...

Well, since Kurt was really as geeky as Wilbur, his real father must have been pretty geeky, too.

Abby must have liked geeky guys. Is this story over yet? The only "interesting" character was ol' Helen-the-lush. Maybe if we signed a petition, we could persuade Moy to move ol' Helen-the-lush to Charterstone.

Toots McGee said...

She also looked lovingly at the photos of herself with Dwight Shrute

This is really one of the strangest Abby flashback photos. I can't quite put my finger on it (no pun intended) but she just has a weird smirk on her face as if maybe this photo is a publicity still for a sitcom or something.

I wish there were this many pictures of me with people I knew taken when I was in college floating around. I would love to relive those day with an endless series of snapshots of us having cookouts, going to the beach, etc. If only we had had the foresight to hire a photographer to follow us around and snap pictures.

Take a lesson from Toots, kids. Now that you have digital cameras, cameras on your phones, etc., make sure you document and archive these memories and you will have ample opportunity for soulful reminiscence later!

Anonymous said...

"This is the story that doesn't end,
Yes, it goes on and on, my friend.
Some people started drawing it, not knowing what it was,
and they'll continue drawing it forever just because...
This is the story that doesn't end..."

Anonymous said...

I once thought that to author a nationally syndicated comic strip one must exhibit some talent for the art form. Obviously I was mistaken.

Ramsicle said...

It looks like Wilbur is trying to pull her hair off in this panel... And Abby's all like, 'Oh, ha, dear, I'd better hold on to it!'

Vicki said...

It was a BIG deal taking pictures "back in the day" with our little brownie cameras! Unlike the camera cards of today, you only had about twelve or twenty-four shots, depending on the film you bought. Then when your film was used up you had to take it to the drugstore or send it off in envelopes to "Seattle Labs". You'd be soooo excited to see the pictures about a week later! There was often disappointment, though.Usually you had some bad overexposed shots that were a complete waste, so maybe 10pix were any good. If it was color, it was AWFUL color that looked faded!

So, I'm not buying any of this, unless Wilburrrr is a lot younger than he looks.

I don't much care for Abby. She's a nutjob.

Anonymous said...

what i dont get most personal pictures are posed so are these from marty clarks spying on abbey collection

lovesmary said...

What in the heck is the moral of this story? Is it: "decisions you made early in life will haunt you forever and screw up everyone else's lives too"? Or is it "the past is the past and nothing you did in the past is really your fault"? Or is it "if you are a bastard, you will always have a restless feeling"? Someone help me here!

Vicki said...

@lovesmary: I have been asking myself the same question! Usually it's so cut and dried, but this one is just plain loopy.

Taryn said...

3/17 - Oh no! Not only another "Kurt and Wilbur: So Happy Together" moment, but Wilbur's face has been replaced with a Twilight Zone pig mask! As if this could possibly get any more hideous.

Taryn said...

PS - Vicki, don't forget the blinding flash cubes.

I wouldn't mind seeing some Facebook-esque shots of Wilbur and Abby where one of them is holding the camera with arm outstretched and the two are grinning like fools in a warped, up-close shot. Either that, or doing faux model poses.

Chester said...

I seem to recall that Kurt was wearing pants when he and Wilbur went fishing. Hmmmm. These fishing scenes seem to be more like an Abercrombie and Fitch ad every day.

Brick said...

I noticed the same, Chester. The pants in this story do seem to shrink into shorts or... possibly... vanish altogether!?

But Abercrombie and Fitch models? Wilber and Kurt? LOL

Vicki (say cheese!) said...

@Taryn: ah, yes, the blinding flashbulbs! After about two photos you were blind for ten minutes.

And remember the Poloroid Swinger cameras, "...more than a camera, it's almost alive, and only Nineteen dollars, and ninety-five?" I can STILL remember that jingle!!


Missing pants, missing shoes... this is insane. At this point I think Moy herself is missing, and no one in office knows where she is!

Maude Findlay said...

I'm still hoping for one more appearance by boozy Aunt Helen. Maybe she had a crush on Wilbur, back in the day, and that is the reason why she ended up becoming a lush? Her burning jealousy over Abby is the reason why she could never accept Kurt as family. I'd love to see a flashback photo of young, sober Helen- perhaps wearing pearls, a fringed jacket, and a long., flowing dress- gazing longing at young mod-hair Wilbur.

phoebes in santa fe said...

Oh, dear lord, Maude, I'd love to see the ol' lush Helen return, too, but not as a former flame of Wilbur.

I'D love her to come in and waltz off with Dr Jeff, and leave Mary there, crying...

duckdg said...

I see Helen with Charley Smith. He drinks, he's not easily offended, and he would be very comfortable with the idea of rejecting an illegitimate child.

Anonymous said...

Oh, the humanity!

Anonymous said...

This story's been going on since late November of 2009. Conservatively, that is almost 120 CONTINUOUS DAYS of this story.

And what happened?

"A young man, trying to reconnect with his mom's memory, misrepresents himself to her old college friend."

That's it. That's one sentence, and it's the whole story. Karen Moy stretched that to about 120 days of vapid, empty repetition that didn't even feature the strip's titular character.

It's a feat, to be sure: but more akin to "firebombing Dresden" than "building the Hoover Dam".

Brick said...

Let's step in and end this story for Moy. Which should it be?

"A free spirit takes liberties even with liberty itself."- Francis Picabia

"The most important thing a father can do for his child is to love his mother." - Theodore Hesburgh

or...

"The wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long." - E.E.Cummings

Taryn said...

Vicki, I don't remember the jingle, but I do remember the horrific bleached pictures those Polaroids produced!

3/18 - For the love of all that is good and right, how much longer can this possibly go on? I'm beginning to think there is no end. That this will continue until 25 years down the road when the strip might actually die. And the thing is, I don't really want it to die because it's capable of such inadvertent hilarity. Basically I just want to harpoon Wilbur and throw him into the sea where he belongs.

Maude Findlay said...

This story is NEVER going to end! I can see Kurt bringing his future children to visit their faux grandpa & faux aunt. One day, at Wilbur's funeral, Kurt's grandchildren will be weeping by the casket, over Great-Grandpa Wilbur...

Chester said...

I really feel sorry for Kurt. Anyone who can possibly have a good time around a dullard like Wilbur must have some issues! He must be a few ham sandwiches short of a picnic.

Brick said...

"I can't fully explain why I didn't tell you the truth sooner." writes Kurt

I can.
Because to tell Wilbur the truth might have exposed his deliberate telling of a lie.

Robert said...

When the Worthy Awards come around again, every category is going to be taken up with this never-ending story.

Vicki said...

arrgh, just shoot me now!!!

Taryn said...

Endless story indeed. Oh Wanders, I wish we could somehow load the jukebox with the Japanese song "Endless Story" by Yuna Ito. So perfect.

Marjorie said...

Do you know of a blog dedicated to Brenda Starr? In the 50s and 60s, I loved her adventures.

duckdg said...

for the jukebox:
This is the song that never ends.
It just goes on and on my friends.
Just when you think you have reached the end,
the song begins again...

Chester the Liar said...

"I can't fully explain why I didn't tell you the truth sooner." writes Kurt.

Maybe because you're a liar, Kirt? How tough is that to explain?

Brick said...

My thoughts exactly, Chester!

Anonymous said...

Note to Karen Moy:

When developing the plot to a story the concept of motive is an important ingredient. Motive is also important in determining guilt in the commission of a crime. Actors need to understand the motivation of their character to give a credibile performance. Without motive, the actions of the characters take on an element of madness. There is obviously no motivation for Kurt to seek out Wilbur and tell him he is his father, when he knows for a fact that Wilbur is not. There is no motivation for Wilbur to so willingly accept him as his son. All of the characters appear to be looney tunes. The premise is ridiculous and the story would be graded a D- in a high school reading class. What you need, Karen, is a few classes in creative writing.