A few days ago, loyal reader Michael wrote to suggest that we may never see the insides of the Johnsons' apartment because it is so full of the junk Bonnie is hoarding. He may be on to something. There seems to be barely enough space for the Johnsons' thought balloons to squeeze out the back window.Today's Full Strip
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SECRET MESSAGE WHERE'S THE SECRET MESSAGE??????
There's not enough room! Bonnie?BonnieJohnson's bill is too big!
I, for one, can't wait until the big reveal: the front of the apartment!
Ernie is gonna be pissed!
The Palm Tree That Ate Charterstone is bigger than Bonnie thought it would be, too. It's more frightening than Ernie's sombrero.
Run, Ernie, Run!
The Johnsons's windows are awfully talkative. I'm curious to know what their end tables and dining room chairs think about Bonnie's shopping addiction.
I feel for Bonnie?Bonnie Johnson. Sometimes MY bills are bigger than I think they will be! Especially at the grocery store lately!
Bonnie? can make a million bucks, though, if she can fine tune and market that thing she does with her age reversal and instant weight loss! It would sell like crazy!!! Bigger than clown portraits; hotter than a Charterstone fern! Do it, Bonnie? You go girl!
I see debt counselling and forgiveness coming up very soon. OK, that's the end of this story...next!
I really hope Michael's right and we have a Hoarders-style twist coming up. I bet Mary comes over to visit with a tupperware container full of mush and is astonished to see the chaos. What would the children think??
I predict a Charterstone Community Yard Sale! Not only will B?BJ be able to clear up her condo, and pay off some bills, but maybe the rest of the neighbors can get together, make some money, and socialize- because after all, we are social creatures... aren't we?
Clearly, B?BJ? needs a stern talking to about the difference between "needs" and "wants," preferably in a convoluted, yet condescending way.
Okay, try these alternate hypotheses on for size.
1) Bonnie? is a witch. Drinking Coors renders her temporarily younger and more stylish. But it has to be vintage Coors in the old pale yellow cans. Unfortunately, she's not powerful enough anymore to conjure them up, she has to buy them from ECove auctions, and that is killing Ernie, who insists that Bonnie only drink Coors for him. Unfortunately, Bonnie?'s been drinking around the neighbors, driving up the ECove bills.
2) Rather than being a PSA for compulsive shopping, this is a PSA for innumeracy. Bonnie? doesn't really have a problem with shopping, she just has a problem adding up the sum of all her purchases, and Ernie is absolutely adamant that she report precisely down to the penny how much she spends every day. However, the Chisenbop lessons Bonnie? got two months ago just confused her to death, and she has been under her totals (and driving Ernie crazy) ever since. Ernie is obsessed about Bonnie?'s problem because he's a math teacher with a compulsion for arithmetic precision. In today's strip, we see that Bonnie? has checked her numbers with the Tandy pocket calculator with the swell red LED display and found that, once again, she's off by $1.33. Ernie will be so angry, and she'll have to go back to the mean old Mr. Pai for lessons, and the last thing she wants is him slapping her wrists with that bamboo switch.
--wheelhead
restim
@Maude: Careful there with your suggestion, lest the Charterstone Board "volunteer" you to head up the whole doggone garage sale!! People will be dropping items off at your condo unit night and day, expecting YOU to stay up all night cleaning and pricing things! Plus they're so used to salmon squares and ketchup at the pool parties, they'll be expecting you to bring those too!
REALLY? Really! Mary Worth is this predictable? All this time and all we get is B?BJ! is a shopaholic? I know this isn't directed by Shyamalan but can't we have some sort of twist? Half twist... quarter turn?
Twist: Ernie is "gone" = Ernie is buried under a pile of stuff in the apartment. What's that strange smell coming from B?BJ?'s apartment?
Question: Why is there no secret message at Bonnie's apartment?
"Hold your cursor over each image for a FREE secret message from Mary Worth & Me."
Answer: Because it's FREE.
After today's strip (4/22), I think Wanders may be on to something with the hoarding thing. It's not like the artist is reluctant to draw endless pictures of characters on the computer, as we learned with Toby and Advice Guy.
It is obvious that Moy does not shop online.
So I guess B?B?J? is going to wear boots with her new dress to her cousins wedding! How stylish!
B?B?J? must live right above Mary, thats why Mary looks at the ceiling when she talks to B?B?J? on the telephone and not at the bananas she is slicing.
Mary's striking at the right time, what with Ernie out of town and Bonnie? all vulnerable. She'll spill her guts (and the over-stacked piles of hoarded purchases in due time.
I can't help it, I LIKE Bonnie?! I think she's great. (Well, unless it turns out she did murder poor Ernie.) If she has the confidence and style sense to wear boots at her age and size, then more power to her, I say. Comparing boots online is a normal activity. Talking to the ceiling is NOT.
The only way I'd like Bonnie? BonnieJohnson? is if she DID murder Ernie.
I have this all worked out: Bonnie has a "Lindsay Lohan-type" obsession with shopping, and their house is completely filled with her endless purchases. Ernie isn't just gone, he has left her. Now he and Mary are going to get together with the other neighbors and stage an "intervention" ala Aldo Kelrast. Bonnie will then take her credit cards and throw them over a cliff, and jump after them in despair. This will be followed by a Charterstone pool party where everyone discusses their relative guilt over salmon toast.
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