I am so reassured by Toby's words after what I've been through the last few days.First, let me apologize to all my loyal readers and to Karen Moy for yesterday's horrible post. My iPhone was stolen, and along with it, my identity!
I left my iPhone sitting on top of my car while I went into the grocery store on Thursday afternoon. I thought it would be safe there. But when I came back, someone had stolen it! I was shocked. What is happening in this world?
Fortunately, I had made a list of all my iPhone contacts - about 4,000. I called everyone on my list and told then that if they got a call from someone claiming to be me, that it wasn't really me, someone had stolen my identity!
Then I called the police.
On Friday, I tried to sign onto my blog, but the password had been changed. I read the post that the new me had tried to write about Toby being so angry she was turning into the Incredible Hulk. It was a nice try, but not quite up to par.
Then Saturday, no post. I thought that was okay, that's alright. The real me doesn't post every day, why should the fake me? But then, on Sunday, the fake me hit the breaking point, and posted his outburst. That was the clue the police needed. They found the thief, curled up in Barnes and Noble, lying on the comics section of the local paper, with 27 empty cups of Starbucks coffee strewn around him, weeping silently.
He just couldn't take it, it turns out. He wasn't cut out for anything as sophisticated as being me, nor could he handle the genius of Mary Worth.
I want to give a very special thanks to the brilliant Karen Moy for helping me get my iPhone back. Your writing has taken down one more criminal.
Today's Full Strip
18 comments:
Wanders, whew, we all thought that maybe your evil twin had taken over! Glad you retrieved your iPhone - how dare someone lift it off of your car! That said, funny that the nogoodnik would take the time to post here...maybe a deep seated hatred of Charterstone inhabitants.
Mary and that darned list! You can stop patting yourself on the back now, hon, we get it.
Funniest post ever!
Wow, your story is so much more exciting than this one! Honestly I could hardly wait until this morning's post. Except that Mary apparently had time to bake a cake--and eat half of it--in between calling the credit companies and going to the police. Now that's being productive!
Do you need us to continue to comfort you?
It was so nice of Mary and Toby to put on their Sunday best for yesterday's strip, and then today change back into the clothes they were wearing last week. BTW, did anyone else notice last week that Mary's black shirt under her pink jacket some days had a v-neck and other days it was round?
Was that for real? Did someone else really write those posts? They were so clever that I think he wasted his talent flailing against Karen Moy.
There are more worthy targets than Karen Moy. Well, there are...
@Elaine - Remember how often Mary patted herself on the back for prodding Gina to search for Bobby Black. She's just getting started.
My stars, Wanders, what a horrible ordeal you had. One would think that putting your phone on top of your car would have been so much safer than stashing it in Mrs. Wanders's handbag, but no! What a world we live in.
Speaking of crime, did Mary steal that cake plate and cake from Diner?
Thank goodness everything's back to normal. I hope you've learned a valuable lesson, which should serve you well when the same thing happens to your friend six months in the future.
I have a GREAT idea!!! We should all make Lists! It would be so handy if we ever had our billfolds and/or identities stolen. And it would help the Police ever so much to solve crimes!! I don't know where I come up with such great ideas, but I'm so proud of myself for thinking of this!
Now excuse me while I eat a piece of cake and pat myself on the back.
Interesting scene of tea with a cupcake saver sitting on the
2"x4" Mary apparently uses as a table.
Did a double take at my WV: 'prosate', not to be confused with something Dr. Jeff must be away getting examined, as he's been absent through this whole crisis.
Maybe the thief stole Dr. Jeff's identity too, and secretly got them married.
She didn't dodge that bullet after all.
LifeLock missed a great opportunity to get some product placement going in the strip - or maybe Mary will sign up with LyfeLauk instead.
I think it's cool that Mary's kitchen table butts up against the sofa. What a great, diner-like idea!
Wanders - you keep up the good work. You always keep us laughing - because Mary Worth certainly does NOT.
Thanks Wanders. I finally get it. With Moy's subtle suggestions, her advice went right over my head. Without your explanation of your own identify theft experience, I never would have known how to protect myself. I am immediately going to make a list of my online contacts and credit card information.
Wanders, you are an evil genius.
And that's why we love you.
Oh, and by the way ...
A list is for suckers.
The really smart folks, say who spend most of their time at pool parties eating salmon squares, at diners eating pie, the Bum Boat eating, what? bums? i.e. who don't need credit cards so much but just like to have them handy for emergencies (Oh, OK, if we were all like Mary, no bubbles would ever burst) anyway, they freeze their credit on a regular basis.
So Mary, you're not so smart. Neither is Toby, but you deserve to go wherever she leads you. Hopefully to Enormoushop.
Okay, I tried to ender the comment board and I was magically taken to the LifeLock website. Not sure if that's a coincidence or the Magic of Mary Worth.
If I were Mary, I'd really be all chapped up that Toby keeps pointing when she talks. Doesn't she know its rude to point???
WV: "unpug," which is what a dog owner should do when their battery becomes fully charged.
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