Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Mary Worth 1,218

And what about the woman in the miniskirt and go-go boots? She's totally coming on to Mr. Blue Slacks. And that palm tree! It's totally coming on to that boy palm tree. And the bunt cake is coming on to the plate of cookies! Not to mention Toby in her booty shorts... in fact, the only person who does not seem to be coming on to anything is Nola Wolvenson.

Megan had a few rejections from the condo board, but they finally agreed to her suggestion of Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. A song with a message for the Worthiverse.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 30, 2012

Mary Worth 1,217

POOL PARTY! With flirting! But the dress code has certainly decayed to a new low. I mean, is that man wearing an actual swimming suit? But don't worry, Toby. You don't have to keep Ian under wraps because Ian can't fit under wraps!

After consulting with the condo board, the winner of our Not-A-Real-Contest, and the reader whose day was most Mary-like, is Megan! But gosh, it was a tough decision. Mary Worth has really influenced so many of us in so many ways. We really are wonderful people, and when I read about your weekend, my faith in our species is restored.

Megan, send me an email at maryworthandme@gmail.com with your Jukebox request. All requests are subject to Condo Board approval, so you may want to listen to the jukebox for a few hours to see what kinds of things they like. (For new readers, the jukebox is located in the right column, down just a bit.)

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Mary Worth 1,216

And each of them actually IS different from panel to panel... so that's cool too. I don't have much to say, except nice mug. Now everyone go out and make a difference, okay? Do something today that Mary would do if she could be there herself.

Let's have another Not-A-Real-Contest Contest. Let me know what you do today that Mary would have done, and the Condo Board will choose a winner who will get to nominate a song for the Charterstone Jukebox.

Today's Full Strip

Friday, January 27, 2012

Mary Worth 1,215

Yes, Emily, and try not to get kidnapped again. Because, of course, you realize it was your own fault.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Mary Worth 1,214

Well, it turns out that it wasn't the head of Wayne the Kidnapper (severed as Bill the Manager assisted the police with his kitchen cleaver) in Mr. Smith's bag after all... Just some fruit. Of course, Bill, Bree and Ronnie didn't get as large a fruit basket as Mary Worth got. They each got only a pear. So all is right in the world.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 23, 2012

Mary Worth 1,213

Well, as Mary Worth lounges in her Forever Lazy, we can either expect a new story, or Emily's family is coming to find out how Emily can become a model. I mean, Mary said she knows somebody.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mary Worth 1,210

I'm thrilled that Mary Worth has passed judgment and approved of Emily's parents. Though I'm not sure how she did it since she doesn't seem to have ever been at the police station.

And great move by the police to haul Emily down to the station to visit with addicts and prostitutes while she waits for her goodly parents to arrive, instead of letting her wait at Diner with a free bowl or rainbow swirl ice cream. I wonder if they took her down to the hoosegow in the same car as Wayne the Kidnapper.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Mary Worth 1,209

It'd be nice if we even had a regular compass. Which way is the shore?

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Mary Worth 1,208

I am so glad that Mary Worth has a conscience in her guts to give her courage. This is what sets her apart. If only other people had consciences. Then we could all be as awesome as Mary Worth and talk about our awesomeness for nine days straight.

Today's Full Strip

Friday, January 13, 2012

Mary Worth 1,207

While Mary is relieved that she didn't have to "physically tangle" with Wayne the Kidnapper, the rest of us, of course, are also very relieved. Although she appears more than capable in the panel above, watching Mary Worth duke it out with a hardened criminal would not have been interesting at all.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Fourth Annual Worthy Awards


Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fourth Annual Worthy Awards. Santa Royale's elite (you), have gathered together to shower accolades on the 2011 outstanding achievements in the genius comic strip, "Mary Worth."

But first, what glamorous awards ceremony would be complete without a spectacular opening number! Here's a MW&M favorite:




Thank you Mr. Trololo, and now, to start things off, we take a moment to bestow the coveted Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award upon a Mary Worth character who left us for the great Pool Party in the Sky during 2011. This year's outstanding achievement in dying goes to:

MAMA BARONI!

Congratulations on being the perfect cross to bear!

And now, on with the show!

Your votes have been counted. Over 17 votes were cast! A new record. Who knew Mary Worth had so many fans?

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN

The nominees are:

LOCKET MAN

WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES ATHLETIC GEAR

AMOEBA SHIRT

SANTA ROYALE MESSENGER SERVICE

And the winner is:


LOCKET MAN


This year's winner plans to use his prize money (a $400 gift card from Marcy's) to buy himself some more cool jewelry.

Our next category is

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER:

Each year, Mary Worth meddles in the lives of Santa Royale's citizenry, and then we never see them again. This year's nominees may be lost to us for all time, but their performances will live in our hearts forever. And the nominees are:

COACH HAMFIST

LIZA COLBY

YOUNG BOBBY BLACK

GINA THE WAITRESS


And the winner is:

LIZA COLBY

This only goes to show what we already knew: Mary Worth fans LOVE stalkers! Liza Colby is working on a sales degree at Local University, and, ironically, busing tables at the cafeteria.

And now...

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY AN ESTABLISHED CHARACTER

The nominees are:

DAWN WESTON

MARY WORTH

WILBUR WESTON

DR. DREW CARY, M.D.

And the Worthy Award goes to:


WILBUR WESTON

This is Wilbur Weston's second Worthy Award. He won last year for his performance frolicking with his wanna-be son. Wilbur is turning into a regular Tom Hanks. Will he three-peat next year?

And now:

OUTSTANDING PANEL IN 2011

The nominees are:

DREW'S WORKOUT

THE DOCTOR WITH TWO HEADS

NO REFLECTION ON DAWN

HOW YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DRAWN

And the winner is:


THE DOCTOR WITH TWO HEADS

I think this one was pretty much a guaranteed award winner from the moment it first appeared on May 28.

And now, the 2011 Story of the Year:


DAWN GETS TWITTERPATED

NOT FATAL ENOUGH ATTRACTION

THE LIST

HAPPY IS THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW TO BE

And the winner is:


NOT FATAL ENOUGH ATTRACTION

Once again, stalkers rule on Mary Worth!

Well, 2011 was as a wonderful year in Mary Worth. And she certainly has gotten 2012 off to a good start by rescuing Emily Smith of Goleta.

And let me offer just my personal thanks to all of you, Dear Readers, who devote so much time and insight to this blog! Without you, I would just be another closeted Mary Worth fan wondering what in the world is wrong with me. But at least I know that I am not alone.

Happy New Year to each of you!


This year's awards ceremony has been brought to you by the following sponsors:

Men's Workout
Apple Computer
Experion
Equifax
Transunion
Hilton Hotels
Twitter
Amazon's Kindle
The Four Seasons


If anything, 2011 was the year of product placement.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Mary Worth 1,206

Help is letting Wayne the Kidnapper get away. Because they are very slow. And stupid.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 9, 2012

Mary Worth 1,205

Wayne the Kidnapper is so annoyed at how slow the police are moving, he attempts to speed things up by running outside to meet them. Thank you, Wayne.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Mary Worth 1,204

Well, I just got back in town from my trip to Illinois and Missouri, and not a moment too soon! The police have arrived. It's a good thing it took them just over two weeks to get here.

And all I missed was Mary Worth trying to sign Emily up for Barbizon.


Today's Full Strip

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Mary Worth 1,203

I have always known that this is what the staff was thinking when I walk into a restaurant.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Mary Worth 1,202

I hope he's willing to wait at least a "week." I'll be traveling without a "laptop," and I hate to miss "anything."

My "experiment," posting from my "iPhone," didn't really "work." So it looks like I'll have to come up with some sort of recap when I return. In the meantime, here's hoping the "police" never arrive.

Today's Full Strip