"Mary, how's the column you are writing going? I don't have any time to read it myself as I am too busy trying to resuscitate my relationship with the woman who dumped me and to mentor her ex-con son by making suggestions about where he should apply to work. I hope he get's that job at Dairy Queen because, hey, free ice cream."
A personal note from Wanders: Just as Wilbur has been too busy to read his own column, I have been too busy to read my own blog. Work went through one of its intense periods, and Mary Worth went through one of its bland periods, and the two just aligned at the same time, and so I took a little break. I have to apologize for causing some of you concern, and thank you for your worry and your warm welcome back.
18 comments:
Everyone knows Wilbur's next question:
"Whatcha got inside that bag, your lunch?"
Wanders, I missed your witty posts, so I'm glad you're back. (Unlike Wilbur, you DO have a life!)
@Nance at 9:00 a.m., I figured helpful Mary has been cleaning up after the Charterstone dogs.
With Mary's connections at the hospital, maybe she can get Tommy a job in the pharmacy.
So, Mary thinks about the letters to "Ask Wendy"? I was under the impression that she simply opened her Big Gray Book of Aphorisms at random, no matter what the presenting problem was.
Dear Wendy,
Whenever my Mother in Law visits, she reorganizes my kitchen drawers and cabinets and it's driving me nuts!
Dear Reader,
Life is real, life is earnest. No man is an island. Stop and smell the roses. Time waits for no man.
Wendy
Relative to the hidden comment, more fitting than a hamburger stand for Wilbur would be a franchise of Heavenly Ham.
Tommy pushing by the dumpster can remain a constant between the models.
I'm glad to hear everything is O.K., Wanders. I don't often post here, but always enjoy your witty blog. You haven't missed much at all unless you enjoy watching Wilbur and Iris walking and hearing Tommy's self-loathing rants. Can Mary please go back to New York again?
Wanders is back. Mary is back. All is right with the world.
Mary saw that Wilbur was actually getting some exercise, so she raced out there with a bag of ham and mayo sandwiches for him. I think she's trying to kill him.
@KitKat--And then taking it to Mr. Allora so that he can dispose of it. (Job security)
@fauxprof--Was any of that Goethe?
Tommy- there's money in the banana stand.
@meg: I bet there's an opening in The Blue Man Group for Tommy!
@meg:
Oh, wow, Tommy opening up a banana stand. What a great idea! I bet Tommy has a nice banana! I'd like to see it.
Ditto to KitKat's comment. I'm glad you're back!
WEDNESDAY
Mary said DUFF! Just a matter of time now before Tommie starts up with the colorful prison lingo.
Beware Wilbur's Finger of Righteousness!
...you don't know where it's been...
Mary's posing a phony hypothetical, and Wilbur doesn't even catch on that she's talking about Tommy and her desire to get him the heck out of Charterstone. Or maybe Iris was dense enough to write to "Ask Wendy". You'd think Tommy's parole office might have some job suggestions.
@fauxprof at 10:39 AM, perhaps Mary's comment about "stretching his net" refers to Tommy's hair. Mary may know of a job opening at Diner.
While this meddling committee discussion is fascinating, the solution is at hand: Wilbur simply needs to allocate one of his many writing positions to Tommy. Perhaps he could write 'Ask Wendy'?
I wonder if this is another PSA, this time to boomerang parents.
Are we supposed to believe that
A. Wilbur doesn't get that Mary is talking about Iris and Tommy?
B. Iris wrote in and Mary doesn't realize it's her?
C. Iris wrote in and neither Mary nor Wilbur realizes it's her?
D. A stranger with an identical problem wrote in and Mary and Wilbur are talking about it as if it has NOTHING TO DO with Tommy and Iris?
@KitKat--net comment is hilarious.
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