"Hey, Ma, isn't that your boyfriend? I haven't seen him (or you) since Christmas. Now here we are, all together again."
I know we were all expecting this, and we were hoping that Zak would be going out with the waitress who dumped Tommy instead of just some random girl, but I'm optimistic that this moment marks the end of this epic story arc that started last June when Mary volunteered Mr. Allora to help with the Beedie move. It's been quite an ordeal spending nine months with the Beedies, but you did it! You've stuck it out! I'm proud of all of us.
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The sight of Zak having moved on to an age-appropriate girlfriend should be most gratifying to Iris. After all, she did tell him that he belonged with his friends. OK, maybe she didn't mean for him to get THAT friendly. However, it may convince her that she needs to spend one-on-one quality time with Tommy. For an extensive time period, please. Maybe at the Pax Wellness Resort? Or Goleta. Is Goleta far enough?
Perhaps a trip to Italy, or maybe a nice cruise...
Ah, the plot thins.
Mary can expect a sobbing Iris to be pounding on her door in about 15 minutes.
-- S. McW.
Woa, woa, woa! Hold on there! This story can't be over. What about sandwich boy? He's still stuck on the South Pole pining for his lady love. I think the break they've been on is about to end. Iris, better go shopping for some nice pastrami and a loaf of marble rye.
I'm thinking wrapup pool party, Tommy making his own redemptive appearance. Sporting a haircut, AND a suit and tie, AND standing on a box with Bible in hand. A warm "Thanks, ma!" wink of the eye.
Maybe Iris can send Thor, er, Tommy over to have a 'chat' with Zak and his 'niece'.
With apologies to Barbara Streisand, and given the success of La La Land, cue Iris:
"Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around
One who can't move
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns".....
(Cue Toby at the easel for plot transition...)
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Iris, Doomed To Dress Inappropriately, Sees Zak's Rebound Girl And Changes The Definition Of 'Here'".
Here: talk, company,
Here--
Zak!
Boy, I hope tomorrow Zak doesn't say, "Iris! Meet my sister, Mindy!"
If this plot ends with Tommy punching Zak in the stomach it will have made the last 9 months worth it, almost.
If this plot ends with Tommy punching Zak in the stomach it will have made the last 9 months worth it, almost.
If this plot ends with Tommy punching Zak in the stomach it will have made the last 9 months worth it, almost.
What makes you think it's over?
Iris may need some Vicodin for that mangled hand of hers.
AWK-WARD!!!
Wow! They sure don't look like the Tweedle-Beedies today! HOT and HOT!
Although the second panel doesn't look like it will be the case, I'm hoping that Zak's date will be in her forties. That will really rock Iris's world!
(I don't think this plot is over yet. ... Once it does end, I think a pool party would be wonderful, but I don't think we'll get one. I think we'll get Wilbur and Dawn e-mailing each other as a transition to our next "plot.")
I hope Iris walks over to say hello to Zak and he says, "I'm sorry, ma'am, have we met?"
It is very disturbing to observe my aging in terms of Moy's interminable plots.
SATURDAY
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Methinks She Doth Aver Too Much".
Matter? All Right?
Y-Yes. Fine.
More. Glad! Good!
Iris, aren't you glad you didn't get a tattoo?
Wow! So much to parse today! My initial reaction was ... more drama avoidance ... yet again! But then I saw the second panel. The second panel of Saturday's strip epitomizes the pleasure of reading soap-opera strips! Iris says, "I'm MORE than fine. I'm GLAD to be here. Everything is GOOD," while her facial expression, downcast eyes, and lowered head all tell us that she is anything but FINE, GLAD, or GOOD! This is the genre's intended effect on the reader ... we watch with relief that we are not the ones enduring such exquisite pain and mental anguish ... and somehow also with a sense of--we know it is socially unacceptable, but the feeling is there--glee at the exquisite misfortune of these fictional characters. Oh, Iris, give us more! I LOVE MARY WORTH!!!
"I'm more than fine. I'm glad to be here. Everything is good. Now, I'm going to take a header off the boardwalk..."
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