Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Mary Worth 2833

Mary is burying her secret deep inside. Okay, I get maybe not telling Jeff since Ted "The Molester" Miller is Jeff's BFF. But Toby is Mary's BFF, and she's not even telling Toby. This is getting very dark.

Also, how fitting is it that Mary goes to Saint Anne's? Saint Anne was Jesus's grandmother according to apocryphal legend and Wikipedia.

25 comments:

KitKat said...

Mary has a church - who knew?! In addition to not telling Jeff or Toby about Ted the Molester, what else has Mary hidden? Will we actually see her at church? Personally, I would have pegged Mary as a worshipper at Our Lady of Perpetual Meddling.

Funny how it never occurred to Mary to support "her" church until Mary Muffins crashed and burned. There were no thoughts about helping St. Anne's when a New York penthouse and a home in Hawaii danced through her mind.

fauxprof said...

Having always thought of Mary as a sort of Wiccan domestic goddess, the kind that ends up sculpted in pink fondant as a cake topper. “St. Anne’s” sounds very mainstream, Episcopal or Catholic perhaps.

Vince said...

I wonder if the muffins will find their way into the next story line and if they will continue to represent Mary's emotional state--all over the floor and on top of Ted's head when she is struggling to maintain control and neatly in their muffin pans (or Toby's mouth) once Mary has managed to sweep everything back under her carpet of denial. Her way of dealing with Ted's aggressiveness--i.e., acting as if nothing ever happened--would not necessarily be that unrealistic if Mary were someone other than the most perfect person who has ever lived. Maybe Karen is trying to reposition Mary as just another flawed Santa Royalean.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

The first thing I thought was "Mary's a Catholic?" (I'm a Catholic, well lapsed Catholic so when I hear saints Catholic always comes to mind, forgetting that other religions have saints as well.) Well, lets say she's "Christian". I personally thought she belonged the Church of Satan.

It will be funny if Ted the Molester pops up at the church asking the priest/minister/pastor for forgiveness.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Get Thine Muffins To A Nunnery, Go".

Fundraiser?
Yes, small share!
Better church?

Chester the Dog said...

Toby eats a muffin without asking Mary permission. Typical.

KitKat said...

I just noticed that Mary is sporting her purple Lenten outfit, right down to the oven mitts.

Nance, your haiku title nearly made me spill coffee on my keyboard! It also gave me a thought: Imagine St. Anne's mounting a production of The Sound of Music, featuring Mary as the Abbess, belting out "Climb Ev'ry Muffin." After all, she did sing when jogging through the desert at Pax Wellness Resort.

Tim said...

The ultimate betrayal, the unforgivable sin, in Worthverse would be to show up eating a muffin from Starbucks. Slightly less blasphemous would be to say you don't like muffins.

LouiseF said...

Perhaps Karen Moy is continuing this muffin trek towards church and penitence in an effort to sanitize Mary Muffins, wresting their image away from the lecherous clutches of Ted Miller... I like Vince's description of Mary's muffins as metaphors for the chaos in her life. It's all pointing to the consideration of muffins for nomination in the Worthy Awards "Best Recurring Character" category...

Anonymous said...

Mary is happy to share her muffins any way she can, except with those jerks at Aileen's. Screw them.

Nance said...

@KitKat--Oh, thank you. But my Early Modern English (or what I like to call "Puritanese") is terribly rusty! I should have used "thy." It's all I can do not to delete my Haiku and repost it with the correction. If it's in the running for a Worthy, I'll change it then.

I'm terribly glad I'm done with my morning coffee after your "Climb Ev'ry Muffin" reference. Bless your heart. That's terrific.

@Vince--I very much like your Muffins As Emotional Coping Mechanism metaphor. It works completely and quite neatly. Genius!

Tamalama said...

I smell another Jonestown, what the hell is in the muffins Mary?! BEWARE PARISHIONERS!

Lcanon said...

If she went to my (Episcopal) church, she would not be allowed to eat those muffins in the nave or the narthex (new carpeting, folks!) We have enough trouble with people bringing Starbucks into church.

Gina said...

Since when does Mary go to church? I call shenanigans! She's probably just been prowling around for unsuspecting new groups on whom to force her muffins.

MissScarlet said...

Oh heck, couldn't Maren Koy at least make an effort toward reality? There is no Saint Anne near Mary, there is however, a very nice California mission known at Saint Barbara.

meg said...

Gina- in the umpty-leven years I have been reading Mary Worth, I’ve only observed one church attendance on her part- it was on Christmas (of course) when Mary was visiting Olive and the Tee-hees in New York. (MW 2218, 12/24/2015)

Anonymous said...


Mary doesn't like to flaunt her religion. So she doesn't practice it.

-- Scottie McW.

mr_darcy said...

"according to apocryphal legend and Wikipedia. "

Well done, Wanders! I plan to drop this phrase in conversation, though the right moment could take years.

As for Mary's dark side, now you have me hoping Mary goes Death Wish in the next story. Fat chance.

KitKat said...

WEDNESDAY

In panel 2, Mary's holding the spoon like she would to eat soup, not put batter into muffin cups. Also, she's not using paper or foil liners, which would produce muffins with smooth sides, yet the baked muffins have ridges. I surmise June isn't a muffin maker.

Toby's about to bite into a button protruding from that muffin.

LouiseF said...

WHERE is Mary going with this story, except into the Dumpster of Unbelieveability?! Even in the pre #MeToo days, ANY woman with a story like Mary's would be DISHING on a creep like Ted Miller with her friend, neighbor, fellow bus passenger, etc. Whispering campaigns about harassers are what got us through those days AND what passed for preventing further abuse by those cretins until sexual harassment laws came around. I wince, hearing uninformed Toby mutter, " guess it wasn't meant to be" into her muffin. Plus, Toby looks like she's on drugs.

Robb said...

Apparently Moy is getting pushback on her handling of the Mary/Ted incident. Anyone else see her lame defense this morning of Mary's decision to keep quiet about Ted? Essentially, she said that Mary was not shaken by the encounter and that she took matters into her own hands by kicking Ted out. Thus, there was no reason to tell anyone.

Not sure if anyone else commented but I responded by saying I was appalled by her writing and her reaction to the criticism about this plot point. I said that I found it irresponsible for her to brush off Ted's behavior and describe him as being a "weirdo" and "overly friendly" and that her take on the matter -- both in writing MW and in her defense of her plot -- was insulting. She's since removed her blog post.

Thorpnotized said...

I haven't been here in a long time. Good to see there are so many of you still here. I think the last time I posted was around the time Joe Giella retired. Not sure why I haven't been back. Maybe I got tired of trying to prove I'm not a robot.

Chester the Dog said...

Yea, Mary, gloss right over it all, like its just another door knob to clean.

MissScarlet said...

Ooh, well done Robb. Sounds like you made an impression.

LouiseF said...

Thank you, Robb! Right on.