Monday, June 5, 2023

Mary Worth 4234

"They call it a screwdriver."

2,590 comments:

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Anonymous said...


"So you are free tonight. Good. I've got 100 bags of manure fertilizer that need spreading around these flower beds. Shouldn't take you two more than three or four hours. You'll be home before dark. Thanks. Owe you one."

-- Scottie

LouiseF said...

Are we on pins and needles, wondering if Wilbur and Dawn are free tonight?!! Can KM drag the answer to the question out until Saturday, or maybe even to the summary on Sunday?! I may have to check in at 12:01 tomorrow to see if we know what's happening here!

Anonymous said...

Hey gang, we're over 2000! Whoopee!!

What will it be....salmon squares? Splak casserole? Persistence of spinach? I can hardly wait!

fauxprof said...

Karaoke. Why does it always have to be Karaoke?

MissScarlet said...

Gasp! There's something Mary can't do??!!!

LouiseF said...

fauxprof, it HAS to be karaoke until that day Mary builds up her confidence enough to get up and belt out "My Way".

meg said...

“Giving orders and advice was always such fun
To my hopeless friends, when all was said and done-
THEY DID IT. MY. WAAAAAAAYYYYYY!”

hmmm said...

Countdown over. 12 days.

Anonymous said...


The evening turns sour when Iris, Zak, Estelle, Dr. Ed, Mylo, and Jess Bender all walk in, laughing and having the time of their lives.

-- Scottie

LouiseF said...

Wow. That was a short trajectory from karaoke plan to karaoke execution, and I DO mean "execution".. Apologies to Tina Turner...
"We don't need another hero
We don't need to know the way home
All we want is life beyond Charterstone..."

MissScarlet said...

Aw, Wilbur is Dawn's hero. Not saying much, is it?

fauxprof said...

I would like to think that we’re done here, and we can put Wilbur and Dawn back into cold storage for a while. Surely Mary has another victim in her sights, or maybe KM will drop someone brand new on the welcoming shores of Charterstone. Maybe they’ll have a dog. Because dogs are good, as we all know.

Tiny fork said...

“We can be sandwiches just for one day…”

Well, with the Childress quote followed by the Heroes lyrics, I don’t see any other possible interpretation of this Sunday’s strip.

Thunderheels said...

To frauxprof and Tiny fork,
One can hope, but I don't trust Moy to not continue (drag out) this thread for another week. Mary has to have her victory lap.

Anonymous said...

Subs are nothing but boats.

Hoagies are nothing but piano players.

Grinders are nothing but pepper mills.

I find it very difficult to believe that Wilbur and Dawn can sing well. But I whole heartedly agree with Tiny fork; they could be sandwiches for a day, I'm sure.

meg said...

PO Boys are nothing but letter carriers.

hmmm said...

The stunned silence is deafening.

KitKat said...

It's surprising that Wilbur wasn't banned from the Star Lounge after his previous drunken escapades there.

New plot: Wilbur and Dawn decide to take their act on the road. Wilbur sublets his condo, giving Mary a fresh victim to meddle with as she stops by daily to feed Willa.

MissScarlet said...

@meg; Ha!!

Tiny fork said...

Ha!! Indeed @meg - I didn’t get that until @MissScarlet posted. @Thunderheels, sadly, looks like you were right.

LouiseF said...

At least we have Dawn and Wilbur declaring that it's "just for one day", a line that is the refuge of every karaoke star.

KitKat said...

"But why do I feel like something's missing?" Look in a mirror, Wilbur. Dawn seems to be missing hair too. Like father like daughter in more ways than one....

MissScarlet said...

@KitKat: Heck yeah somethings missing! Dawn has a big bald spot on the back of her head.

Also, remember, Stella is missing. And you don't have a girl friend. And Dawn doesn't have a boyfriend, or apparently, a college schedule. And maybe neither of you have jobs. Also, you have no meaning to your life.

But other than that, you're good to go!

Thunderheels said...

I am so excited about the reprise of "My poor Stellan is dead". It looks like we may be in for a long week (or two). I hope I am sooooooooooooo wrong.

fauxprof said...

I begin to fear that KM has fallen into a closed infinite time loop. We have circled back to Wilbur’s goldfish obsession, and there’s only so much snark to be wrung out of this situation.

Tiny fork said...

The horror, the horror…

I’m in denial that Wilbur is still the focus of the strip today, which likely means another week or, as @fauxprof posted, possibly forever. Worse, on reflection, I’ve had to admit that Wilbur is in many ways the most well developed character in Mary Worth. I mean, Toby, Doctor Jeff, almost all of them could be replaced by cardboard cutouts and we’d never notice.

MissScarlet said...

Stellan....yeah, Stellan again. Where on earth can this go? Maybe Wilbur will rent a boat and fall in looking for Stellan. Fingers crossed!

Chester the Dog said...

I thought Stellan was a girl! Then I found:

If you've been shouting “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” the perfect name for your little star, surely Stellan should be at the top of your list. This Swedish masculine moniker has roots in the Old Norse term stilling, meaning “calm.” Laidback and levelheaded, baby will be a peaceful presence in your life.

The name Stellan is primarily a gender-neutral name of Scandinavian origin that means Star.

Thunderheels said...

Thanks for the linguistics lesson Chester the Dog!

meg said...


Late that night Wilbur sleeps restlessly. A giant golden fish looms over his bed, glowing eerily.

Wilbur! Did you take GOOD care of me?? Would I be DEAD if you had taken good care of me?
I don’t think so.

To begin with, you stuffed me with the cheapest fish food available, from the Dollar Store. You were too lazy to drive to Tropical Fish Food Paradise. And you never changed the water in my tank. If you’re looking for the additional strands you thought you had in your combover, you’ll find them floating in the fish tank.

Fish heaven? FISH HEAVEN? Where I am is no thanks to you- you were just about to flush me to fish hell, and then you consigned me- unwrapped, I might add- to eternal freezer burn in your old Philco fridge-

“Its not old, it’s vintage…”

Yeah, right. If it weren’t for the timely and considerate intervention by Mary Worth (heavenly harp music sounds) and her dogsbody Jeff, I would be at the bottom of Santa Royale Bay, instead of at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.

And, worst of all, you misgendered me. I’m not a boy fish- I’m a girl. And Willa is not my sister- she is my father, Will.

Goodbye- good luck with your new animal- Dawn, I think?

Anonymous said...


Please. Make. It. Stop.

-- Scottie.

hmmm said...

Hey, Scottie. Remember around the beginning of June, when some newspaper inadvertently published the strip that was dated June 23rd? You warned us that we were in for at least another two weeks of this dreck. You optimist, you!

fauxprof said...

Fish heaven. OMG, Fish heaven!! What is he, five years old? Not even June’s rendition of Wibbly Wobbly Watery Wilbur is helping, here. I may never recover. (Muttering like an old crone…fish heaven…fish heaven…)

Tiny fork said...

It’s always the one you least suspect.

Maybe in his dream, Wilbur comes across Stellan being murdered…by Willa! (“Wilbur never cared in the slightest about me, Stellan, only you. Now, you both pay!”)

meg said...

Does this mean ‘Wilbur sleeps with the fishes”?

KitKat said...

Has Wilbur been consuming magic mushrooms before going to bed?

MissScarlet said...

That's not Wilbur! That's Charlie Tuna!

Thunderheels said...

If Stellan is a female this could take an unsettling turn.

Anonymous said...


@hmm -- OMG, yes! Just when we think Moy has drained every last bit of inanity out of a story, she smiles and thinks, "Hey, I'm just getting started."

I'm just glad Wanders isn't here to see this. He would have shut down the site at least a week ago.

-- Scottie

fauxprof said...

I’m not entirely sure I can compose a family-friendly comment. How about What The…fill in the blank.

Thunderheels said...

Is this it? Is the torture over?
Or is Moy toying with us?
fauxprof-my thoughts exactly.

MissScarlet said...

Everybody knows that when you dream something it is really true.

Anonymous said...


Coming tomorrow/this week/next month: Wilbur describes his dream to Mary in excruciating detail.

-- Scottie

Thunderheels said...

Scottie,
It would appear you are correct. Augh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...


I WAS JOKING!!! IT WAS A JOKE!!!!

NOOOOOO!!!!

-- Scottie

MissScarlet said...

That is exactly the problem Wilbur; you are content with yourself as you are.

KitKat said...

Uh oh, the blog looks very different and is hard to navigate. Has there been a shift in the Blogger space-time continuum? Did "Stell!" and "Ed!" cause this?

MissScarlet said...

It looks the same to me, Kit Kat. I hope your glitch doesn't continue.

I wonder what conflict we can have with Stell and Ed. Of course, the patients' owners are probably not using leashes or carriers in his office as before; so it could be complete bedlam out there while Stell and Ed are kanoodling.

Anonymous said...


@KitKat -- I saw the same thing that you did. I was afraid I was going to have to give up MW&M because I wouldn't be able to access the Newest Comments page any more. Luckily, it's back to normal now.

I'll bet Crankshaft had something to do with this.

-- Scottie

meg said...

I was yearning for a pop in visit from Dawn’s mother, so Mary could fix her…

Or for the Queer Eye for a Straight Guy team to come and get Wilbur slimmed and trimmed and groomed and stylishly dressed…

Or for Ian and Toby to go to the Paris Olympics and cheer for the Scottish caber tossers…

Or for Mary to start baking brioche buns…

ANYTHING but a visit with the world’s dullest couple and their remarkably unattractive animals. Stellan, we hardly knew ye….

fauxprof said...

@KitKat and Scottie, I encountered the same glitch yesterday, and decided to wait and see what happened today. Glad I can keep snarking. Not that Estelle and Ed are offering much to work with, but one can hope.

LouiseF said...

Looks like Sunday was an "Incredible Mr. Limpet"reference minus Don Knotts...

KitKat said...

Scottie and fauxprof, I'm reassured that I wasn't the only one who couldn't go to the newest comments. Better today - whew!

Ed must do his clothes shopping at Mary's favorite shop: The House of Mauve. Eeesh.....

Is Estelle on the payroll yet, or is she still "volunteering"? And, Ed just compared her to a dog. Isn't that cute?

hmmm said...

Oh great. After suffering through months of a story duller than fishwater, now we're looking at months of stimulating conversation and showtunes from NumbStell and DunderEd.

Tiny fork said...

Boring, yes, but also Wilburless. That’s a balance of sorts that could only take place in the Worthyverse: way too much vs. way too little.

fauxprof said...

@hmmm: “Duller than fishwater”! I love that!

MissScarlet said...

Looks like all puppies and piano make Ed a dull boy. Is Estelle wishing for a little more, perhaps? Yeah! Let's get it on!

Frank Booth said...

"Sigh!" as in :-)
or
"Sigh!" as in :-(

Anonymous said...


"Odin's wonderful daddy." Uh-oh.

Ah well, a day without Wilbur is a day without annoyance. Carry on with your over-the-top gushiness, you two!

-- Scottie

fauxprof said...

Cats are usually not good about being in strangleholds. But I presume Ed keeps them well sedated. Or perhaps they’re just bored senseless, like the rest of us.

Tiny fork said...

@fauxprof absolutely, this is not how cats work. Got me thinking: maybe they are just high-end stuffed toy animals. I mean, how would we know?

MissScarlet said...

Uh oh, are we talking about childless cat people?

meg said...

Oh, no, not plushophilia!

LouiseF said...

What drama could POSSIBLY come up over dinner with these two and their insufferable animals? Maybe Ed slips on a bit of salmon skin on his kitchen floor and breaks a leg. No they're probably having macaroni and cheese for dinner...

KitKat said...

A surprise? Does KM want us to think that Ed is going to propose marriage? Ed's house doesn't look large enough for Estelle, her animals, and her piano. Just imagine how often the shower drain will clog when Estelle shampoos her mane,not to mention bathing Libby and Pierre.

meg said...

KitKat:

Are you predicting a scene of a cat being bathed? I would be there for that! I don’t have a cat, but I hear tell they don’t like being bathed.

hmmm said...

Uh-oh. Looks like the blog is acting up again today. I wonder if this is Wanders way of giving us a heads up that the days of MW&M are coming to an end. Sort of like at a bar when they flash the lights 20 minutes before last call.
Anyway, I'm afraid, KitKat, that KM has proven over the years that the whole concept of surprise is completely foreign to her. The only surprise will be if we get out of this dull story line before the end of the year. And if Mary will wear something other than her purple clown dress to the wedding. Sigh, indeed.

MissScarlet said...

@hmmmm: still not having any problems. I don't think it's Wanders.

Yeah, looks like Ed want to propose or shack up?!! or something. I, for one, would find it hilarious if he told Estelle that he's gay and wants to be friends with her forever. But I don't think that subject has ever been broached in MW world.

KitKat said...

meg, yep! And how like Estelle to go ahead with it anyway. She likely insists that Winky, err, Libby, simply adores Mumsie bathing her.

hmmm, the blog is behaving okay for me today.

Miss Scarlet, your scenario sounds like a late 1970s sitcom. Estelle's hair dates from then, so why not? It'll be a scream! I can hear the laugh track now....

MissScarlet said...

@KitKat: Yes! Will and Grace!

But, alas, looks like he's ready to pop a question. So what will be wrong?

There is no ring. Ed wants her to move in, but Estelle is against that.

There is a ring, but Estelle doesn't like it.

Ed wants all the animals to be part of the wedding party (this will probably happen anyway).

Ed wants Estelle to go to veterinary school and take over the paractice.

hmmm said...

Ed's surprise is a cereal bowl with "Stell" imprinted on it.

KitKat said...

hmmm, you won the Interwebs yesterday with that comment!

Considering the constant presence of Libby and Pierre, I would avoid anything cooked by Estelle. She probably doesn't wear a hairnet, either.

Anonymous said...


[grits teeth] Still . . . better . . . than . . . Wilbur . . .. story.

-- Scottie

fauxprof said...

@Scottie, no, stop gritting your teeth. I know from experience that it just makes you more tense and gives you headaches. Come join me in the Zen state I achieve by imagining how long KM can drag out the reveal of Ed’s surprise. I’m betting on a week from Wednesday.

Anonymous said...


@fauxprof -- Ha haaaa, thanks. I feel better already!

-- Scottie

Thunderheels said...

fauxprof:
Maybe we should start a pool? Winner gets to be King or Queen for the day.

MissScarlet said...

Ed requests coq au vin. Cornish game hens. Chicken Parmesan.

Oh Ed!! My very own water bowl (@hmmm), you are so thoughtful. When its placed on the floor, Pierre promptly pees in it.

A monogrammed collar for STEL. Complete with matching leash.

hmmm said...

Thanks, all. Glad I made you smile!

Chester the Dog said...

These two make me ill.

meg said...

Well, do what dogs do when they feel ill- eat some grass, then go behind Ed’s La-Z-Boy and throw up. That’s what Odin always does. Feel better, Chester!

meg said...

Oopsie! I mistakenly identified Odin as canine instead of feline. Help me out here, catladies- do cats puke in inconvenient places as well? Or do cats puke? (I’m happy to be ignorant of such matters.)

KitKat said...

meg, cats most certainly do.

Today: Single cat lady and single cat gentleman alert!

So Ed's telling Estelle that he loves her the way those creepy animals feel about each other? Wave bye-bye to your dreams of (ahem) canoodling, Estelle.

MissScarlet said...

Actually, they don’t care how you feel about each other, but they hope you canoodle long enough that they can eat any leftovers.

fauxprof said...

@meg, cats not only puke in the traditional way, but have their own variant, the hairball. These are usually urped up right where you will step on them in the middle of the night while on your way to the bathroom. Unless you wear slippers. Then the hairball will be urped into your slipper.

Would I rather talk about hairballs than Stell and Ed? You betcha!

meg said...

And fauxprof wins the TMI award of the day!

Anonymous said...


Treacle, treacle, Ed and Stell.
We all wonder, "What the hell?"
It's nice to see you're both so happy.
But must you be so goshdarn sappy?

-- Scottie

LouiseF said...

I am impressed that Stell and Ed have forsaken dishwashing in favor of smooching over the sink. Such romance! Next panel, the famous MW ants appear to clean up the plates.

MissScarlet said...

Blargh.

Tiny fork said...

The narrow-rimmed wine glasses make an appearance in the background which qualifies them for another day’s wages. Would need a funnel the fill them.

Anonymous said...

Either Ed has a very large hand or that is a very small box. Does Estelle have unusually small fingers?

Also, site is behaving very wonky for me now. Takes me pages and pages of scrolling to get to the newest comments. Both on computer and iPad.

Tiny fork said...

How I use the site seems to have no problems. Not sure if this will work for any of you but:

- I go to MaryWorthandMe on my iPhone 12 Max
- Scroll down to bottom
- Switch to “View web version”
- Expand screen a bit
- Click “newest” which is under “They call it a screwdriver“ to the right in small size text link.
- This brings you to latest posts
- Scroll down to bottom to read latest posts; I usually tip screen sideway at this point to read easier.

To post:

- Click “Post comment”
- It may take you back to the top and to an earlier timeline, but just scroll down to bottom again and hopefully you should now be able comment as you usually do. Anyway, this just worked again for me.

Chester the Dog said...

A square hairball?

Anonymous said...

The site is wonky for me too. Using a PC and Google Chrome.

And I'm so excited for an engagement! How long before the wedding? Any bets?

Anonymous said...

KitKat here. Mr. K. and I are among the thousands of people in Northeast Ohio affected by the tornadoes that plowed through on Tuesday. We’ve been without power, WiFi, and hot water since then, and First Energy says restoration may take until Wednesday - aaaiiieee! Commenting on the blog with my phone is cumbersome, but Tiny fork’s hints helped a lot - thanks! I think it’s past time for a tornado to hit Ed’s house and rid us of the insufferable Estelle and Dr. Wacky. That can happen just as Pierre swallows that teensy box.

Tiny fork said...

@Kitkat glad it helped! The posting part for me—actually entering a post—has also become a little erratic today: had to chase it around a bit.

fauxprof said...

Hey, friends, let me know if anyone sees this.

Chester the Dog said...

Faux, I see it, these two make me ill.

Anonymous said...

I hate to say it friends, but I’m guessing this wonky blog business is because Wanders has stopped “paying the rent” on our little playground. It may be his way of saying: Okay, kids. Time for you all to go home now.

Anonymous said...


Don't know if this comment will make it, but the site is all cattywampus again for me too. Wonder if the tornadoes had anything to do with it. Hope it's back to normal again soon.

-- Scottie

Tiny fork said...

Should have added to the instruction I posted earlier that I was using Safari. I just tested with Firefox, however, and it worked smoother. With Chrome, just now, I couldn’t get past a certain point.

Anonymous said...

what is going on?

KitKat said...

Eeesshh, we made it through a tornado (power was restored yesterday evening), but MW & Me is wacko, with tons of scrolling to get to the newest comments. I see your comment, Scottie, and Tiny fork's and Anonymous at 11:56 a.m. Anonymous at 3:01 p.m. yesterday may have zeroed on things. We've been using this for well over a year; maybe it's time to let go. We might have to say au revoir to each other, and to snarking about Estelle's and Ed's nuptials (gag). I figure Estelle will ask Mary's help in planning the wedding, catering the reception, finding a tuxedo for Pierre, the ring bearer, and so on and on and on....

LouiseF said...

Hi, fellow NortheasT Ohioans. Glad to hear your power is back on, KitKat. Ours also, on the same timeline. Four days without was a stretch on the nerves for sure, but back in action now, feeling a little more mortal. As for MW&Me, it appears to be immortal, regardless of time. Wondering what made Ed decide to have the dog offer Estelle the ring....

Anonymous said...

Good to know you’re safe and the power is back on, KitKat. That was me (hmmm) at 3:01 yesterday. I can’t think that this wonkyness has anything to do with the tornado though, Scottie. No tornados here on Cape Cod (MA). I do have to think that Wanders’ contract with whomever it was that provided the service for his blog has expired. Should we all decide to sign up and create identities on Comics Kingdom? I don’t like the idea but it is less raunchy an atmosphere than that at Comics Curmudgeon. Just a thought.

hmmm

Tiny fork said...

Mary Worth and Me uses Googles' BLOGGER. Google no longer improves it apparently, but they still supposedly "maintain "it. You can still even make a new blog with it: I checked. It also is said to be "free," so lapsed payments wouldn't seem to be the problem. I don't know any way to tell what the problem is, but it may resolve itself. Hope so, as I would really miss reading all your posts! It's too early to give up, IMO. And if it takes a few weeks to right itself, it's not as if there is so much happening in Worthyverse that we will lose the thread.

This is the first time I've tried posting on MW&M from a computer and, yes, that's a LOT of scrolling. Will go back to my aging iPhone.

MissScarlet said...

Thanks @ Tiny fork. I made it today, but the ‚endless‘ scrolling is tough. The strip is so sappy it‘s hard to snark, but I love reading all your commentary. Would hate to lose that.

Anonymous said...


Hey, all. Glad everything seems to be well for those of us in Tornado Cul-de-Sac. Our power was out for only 26 hours, for which we are very grateful.

Anyway, through tinkering, I've discovered that if you go to the home page and click on MARY WORTH 4234, a whole string of comments will come up underneath the picture of Toby explaining to Mary what a screwdriver is. Right under that that picture it shows the total number of comments and it allows you to click on NEWEST. So give that a shot and see if that works for you. Hope we can all stay in contact.

Meanwhile, Ed is so suave and debonair that he makes me ashamed I didn't propose to my bride via slobbering dog.

-- Scottie

fauxprof said...

It takes a whole lot of scrolling to get here, but it’s worth it to try to keep the community together. I don’t know how Estelle and Ed can keep their non-story together without us.

Tiny fork said...

The usual rules of fiction dictate that in order for a story to hold interest, at some point there has to be an obstacle blocking the aim of the main character or characters. As the aim seems to be the marriage, what will be the obstacle? In that scenario, it's usually an old flame showing up or something dark from one one of the character's past threatens to come to light. Or, because this is Mary Worth, it may just continue the not-in-a-rush love gush into infinity...

Chester the Dog said...

Shouldn't the song book be OPEN?

KitKat said...

@Scottie at 9:08 p.m. on August 12, you are a partial genius: Following your steps took me easily to the newest comments, but when I clicked on Post a Comment, it took me back to the oldest comment [SIGH]. So I had to scroll about 13 times to get here. Oh well, the first part is a big improvement! Following up on Tiny fork's comment at 1:39 p.m., how about this: Just as the officiant at the wedding asks "If anyone sees any reason why these two should not be wed?", Green Steven, Ed's nephew and erstwhile assistant, bursts in, drunk as a skunk, and shouts "STOP THE WEDDING! UNCLE ED IS [fill in the blank]!"

Anonymous said...

@KitKat -- When you click on POST A COMMENT and that long string of comments comes up, just click on COLLAPSE ALL COMMENTS and you won't have to scroll quite as much.

Anonymous said...

Oops, that was me at 8:24 a.m.

-- Scottie

Anonymous said...

KitKat here. Thanks, Scottie. That did help. You are a full genius, not partial. ;-)
Estelle: “Together…FOREVER!”
Ed: “Cough cough cough, AH-CHOO! Cough cough - I feel terrible…” [falls off piano bench and collapses on floor]

fauxprof said...

Speaking as someone who loves both cats and dogs (cats have a slight edge) Ed and Estelle’s pets are downright creepy.

MissScarlet said...

I used to be able to see “newest”, but now I can’t find it.

Meanwhile, I am totally creeped out by the weird pets. @ Tiny fork, maybe the pets will turn on them suddenly. I know I would.

Tiny Tuba said...

Tiny Fork - Thanks for your help! I feared the Worthiverse was gone, but I got this far with Firefox, a little bit of scrolling, and then collapsing the comments. It is so good to see so many familiar (and a few not so familiar) names. I only wish the story line was as bright a spot as finding you folks again!

Anonymous said...


Thanks, KitKat! I blush.

Anyway, I hate to say this, friends, but the repeated sight of these three precious, smiling, well-behaved, apparently-fluent-in-English little pets is making me ill, even moreso than is the nauseating treacle being gushed by Esdull and Dead.

But on the hugely bright side, at least there are no fish involved.

-- Scottie

KitKat said...

Esdull and Dead -- Scottie, you win the Interwebs today! You nailed it. Let's shove these two into wedded bliss and a one-way trip to Worthiverse Marriage Oblivion. And their little dog and cats too!

LouiseF said...

As they are practicing a rumba for their wedding reception, Estelle steps backward, squashes Libby, falls and breaks an ankle. NOT that I would WISH that on anyone....

MissScarlet said...

I think Moy must be on vacation. No one could turn in this dreck if they were present and aware.

Still scrolling like crazy to get here. Still worth it!

fauxprof said...

We deserve a reward for putting up with this geriatric romance drivel. I suggest a combination pool party/wedding, with Odin as best man, Libby as maid of honor, and Pierre giving the bride away. Wilbur will attend, bringing his surviving fish friend (Willa?) and decides to let her go for a dip in the pool. She later succumbs to chlorine poisoning, and Wilbur spirals down into another guilt-ridden episode, from which Mary must rescue him. It writes itself, doesn’t it?

Anonymous said...

Glad we are finding our way back! Pet revolt, yes! Pool party wedding, yes! Aldo Kelrast wearing a hockey mask, yes!

— Tiny fork

KitKat said...

Holy pillowcases! I think this is the first time we've seen unmarried people in bed together! I doubt much action happened, other than snoring. Estelle's mane is unmussed, and it would be tough to move and roll around with the Tiresome Trio sprawled on the bed. (Maybe someone can do a deep fake and substitute Mary and Jeff's heads. The allergic-to-animals Jeff could be sneezing up a storm.)

fauxprof said...

They’re definitely gonna need a bigger boat—er, sorry, bed. I’m so shocked I’m mixing my popular culture references. But let’s give the happy couple the benefit of the doubt. They may have jumped in the car with all three creepy pets and zipped over to Las Vegas where they were married by a Tom Jones impersonator because they couldn’t afford an Elvis. That’s one of the many Honeymoon suites in the Pet Friendly Hotel and Casino, located nowhere near the Strip.

Anonymous said...


Scandalous! I'm horrified by the brazenness of this strumpet and her lust-filled paramour! Oh well, at least they had the decency to remain clothed during the act.

-- Scottie

P.S. Next time Ed sees Wilbur, he's going to flash him a big wide grin and a wink. Wilbur will know what that means, and it will drive him even more insane than he already is.

Tiny fork said...

And they are so oblivious, they don’t even notice that Pierre has died during the night.

Chester the Dog said...

The pets watched?????

Anonymous said...

With all this “forever” “always” “every day for the rest of your life” slop going on, I don’t think there’s any question that Ed’s days are numbered. We should start a pool to come up with possible means of his soon demise. My guess is that nephew Steven has finally cracked wide open. He blames Uncle Ed for talking him into going into veterinary school. He’s about to break into the bedroom and euthanize all five of them with a 12-gauge shotgun.
…hmmm

LouiseF said...

Seeing as how Ed owns his own house, I think we can look forward to Estelle moving out of Charterstone, which will, I fervently hope, put an end to seeing this insipid twosome and their ridiculous pets.

MissScarlet said...

I, too, am scandalized. But bravo to all the great plot lines @ fauxprof, @anonymous and @Scotty. I personally draw the line at pets in bed. But these two appear to be using them as birth control. How old is Estelle anyway?

MissScarlet said...

@anonymous I think you’ve nailed it. Ed will contract rabies/West Nile/ cow pox/etc. something incurable. I wonder if Jeff will be tasked with another sea burial.

fauxprof said...

No, no, I don’t want Ed to die! Not that I’m at all attached to him, I just want these two to marry and disappear as per the rules of the Worthiverse. If he dies, Estelle will not only have custody of all three alien pet creatures, she will be positioned to take up with Wilbur again. Do you want to go through that whole dreary scenario another time?

LouiseF said...

Definitely no to knocking off Ed, unless he's been hired over at "Rex Morgan, MD". Always room for Estelle (but not those pets!) also. Perhaps the pets will become a roving pack that Mary will have to call Mr. Allora to cage up and take to Animal Control.

Anonymous said...


"Estelle, next time can we do it with all our clothes off?"

(Pick your favorite reply!)

• "You sly devil!"

• "Omigod no, what would Mary think?"

• "Naaaahhhh, I think you better quit while you're ahead, dear."

• "Do what? I fell asleep."

-- Scottie

KitKat said...

I'm considering changing my blog name to "Load More."

Terrific comments, everyone! Estelle and Ed's hop into the sack inspired you. "...strumpet and her lust-filled paramour" had me rolling on the floor, Scottie!

Take a gander at Ed's mug today. June probably had fun with that.

Hey Estelle, before tearing into your Major Nuptials planning, you and Ed should relax by hiking at Piccodee Falls.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Major Nuptials! Stell is looking particularly manic today; any more of that bathrobe-clad gesticulation and she’s going to hurl that bagel through Ed’s French windows like a discus bronze medalist.

I see everyone’s been affected by this change in the blogger interface causing plenty of scrolling. While it’s a good thematic fit for the storyline (WHO COULD EVER GET TIRED OF THIS??); for those who aren’t fans of carpal tunnel and ennui there may be a workaround. I clicked on the link for Mary Worth 4234 at the top of the page, and this seems to redirect to the following page that’s close to the old interface, letting you click “newest” to avoid a constant doomscroll. https://maryworthandme.blogspot.com/2023/06/mary-worth-4234.html

Tiny fork said...

Ah, a potential and much needed plot conflict may be arising! As Estelle’s nuptials planning lurches out of control and budget, Ed gets cold feet and escapes to Western Australia or some place like it. In the aftermath, an embittered Estelle begins to morph into Miss Havisham until Mary inevitably saves the day in some unconvincing fashion.

fauxprof said...

I like the idea of Ed fleeing to Australia. In fact, when he was holding that mysterious small brown cube last week, I thought his surprise was that he had acquired a pet wombat. (Here comes the TMI part.) The solid digestive product of Wombats is excreted as small brown cubes. Information thanks to my Aussie friend Kelly, who thinks Americans are too fixated on Koalas, and Wombats are way better.

Anonymous said...

Estelle, Estelle, Estelle, you naive little kitten. There will be no calls to make, no places to look at, and no people to talk to. Thanks to Mary's many surveillance devices, she already knows and she has already begun making plans for your [cringe] major nuptials. Any input from you will be seen as interference and jeopardize your good standing with her. So butt out.

-- Scottie

LouiseF said...

To save Estelle some time, I looked up "pet friendly ideas for your wedding". I kid you not... Enjoy. https://www.theknot.com/content/honoring-pet-in-wedding?srsltid=AfmBOoqP0yXg7cCNaR4679cE8IEaJofN5x77TPu3QN-y-Uf_k3gDul5I

LouiseF said...

And Thank you, Ian Cameron, for a great suggestion!

MissScarlet said...

@Ian Cameron: your fix does work to take me to July 2024. But if I try to comment I am bounced back to 2023 and doomed to scroll again.

I love all the suggestions for Estelle and Ed’s future, but @anonomous made me laugh out loud with the options for nudity !!

Anonymous said...

@Miss Scarlett -- You are not doomed. When you hit POST A COMMENT and the long string of our past brilliance comes up, simply hit COLLAPSE ALL COMMENTS. Then you will have to scroll a little bit, but not nearly as much. At least that's what's been working for the rest of us as far as I know.

-- Scottie

KitKat/Load More said...

Many thanks to @fauxprof for enlightening us about wombats! Is it possible that Ed treated a wombat at Animal Clinic and he was inspired to use the wombat's offering as a clever ring holder for Estelle? That sounds like something Ed might do.

Has there ever been a floating head of a dog in the strip? On first blush I assumed that was Estranged Cousin Pam, but no. Notice how Ed is already tuning Estelle out and focusing on Mr. Fackenthal's pit bull! Won't Ed be shocked when Estranged Pam shows up at the wedding and he recognizes her as the vet school classmate he had a torrid affair with 29 years ago?

fauxprof said...

As Estelle ramps up to full Bridezilla, can we throw some roses at June? That’s the most melancholy-looking pit bull I’ve ever seen. Is it indigestion or is he just sad? Maybe he needs a hug. Maybe he’d like to bite Estelle, but he’s a good boy and doesn’t want to disappoint his people. Who knows?

MissScarlet said...

No internet today. Trying to post on my phone. @anonymous: thanks for all of your help.
This will be a real wing-ding of a wedding. Does Ed seem uninterested because of their engagement “celebration”? Has Estelle transformed because she wants to lord it over everyone? Gotta admit, I’m kinda interested.

MissScarlet said...

Uh oh! Looks like someone slipped “something” into Bridgman’s coffee.

fauxprof said...

What is going on with the creepy alien pets? While years of experience tells me that anything can be a cat toy, that hunk of rope in Libby’s jaw is an unlikely cat toy. Her expression implies that she plans to gag Estelle with it. As to Odin and Pierre, I have no clue. None.

KitKat/Load More said...

@fauxprof, my thoughts exactly regarding the hideous pets and that rope. That's a toy for real dogs, i.e., not Pierre, to play tug-of-war with. No self-respecting cat would go near it. Does Libby think she is a dog?

Another mention of Estranged Cousin Pam indicates it's a sure thing that ECP will show up at the wedding. Some of you must remember Drunken Jill Black, right? Maybe ECP is cut from the same cloth.

We haven't had a post from @meg in two weeks. On vacation? Fed up with scrolling? Acute carpal tunnel from too much scrolling? @meg, I miss your inimitable snark!

Chester the Dog said...

Estelle appears more shallow and dense every day.

meg said...

Keep an eye on Mr. Fackenthal’s pit bull for me while I’m packing to go to Switzerland. I may have to change my medication to get caught up here.

Thunderheels said...

Hi folks. The comments are great! Looks like Dr Ed is not as enthused as he was. Between that and the long lost cousin maybe something interesting will happen.
I am sorry. It's been a while since I tried to comment. I think my mind is going.

KitKat Load More said...

Comments from @meg and @Thunderheels -- yay! Your mind is not going, Thunderheels; you (and the rest of us) are experiencing the KM effect, which unleashes streams of banality. When the going gets tough, we keep scrolling and loading more!

Colored-coded manila folders, hmm? How very 1988, Estelle! Maybe someday someone will invent something called a "spreadsheet."

Sheesh, they haven't even been engaged for 24 hours and an argument is bubbling up. Cue the muffin matriarch!

Anonymous said...

Uh oh, trouble in Paradise! Estelle, what are you, ten years old? Maybe you ought to keep the details of your little color-coded art project to yourself. You're getting on his nerves. -- Scottie

fauxprof said...

Forget Estranged Cousin Pam. We’re all on Pam’s side. No Estelle, your main worry should be whether Estranged Fiancé Ed will be at the wedding.

Tiny fork said...

[a few weeks later]

Estelle: “Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Ned!”

Chester the Dog said...

Color coding each vendor...Noooooooo!!!!!

LouiseF said...

"The Muffin Matriarch"!! Yes! A sure recipe for conflict: Try doing WORK (scheduling/dealing with veterinary practice issues) at the same time your fiancee is working on wedding planning. These two are headed for marriage counseling before they even marry. I deliciously anticipate Ed getting frustrated and realizing that the only entity he wants to spend his life with is Odin....

MissScarlet said...

WOW! That was pretty fast, wasn’t it? One minute they are a team helping animals and the next Ed has to remind Estelle that he is a vet. I guess the “plot” is that once women get engaged, they be crazy.
Welcome back @Thunderheels. We missed you.

Meg said...

Estelle is anxious to get the best of everything for her dream wedding, so she starts with the wedding music,
Ring, ring,
Hello?
Hello, Mick, it’s Stell-
Stella, my old mate Macca’s daughter! How are you, luv? How’s Paul (the cute one)?
Oh, no, Mr. Jagger, I’m Estelle-
Click.
Hello, Mary? Can you give me Elton John’s number.?

fauxprof said...

When realprof and I got engaged, we were in our forties. I did not insanely start planning a wedding the next day. I did call my best friend to say “congratulations, you’re a bridesmaid” to which she answered, “took you long enough.” Realprof contacted his pastor to start the ball rolling (Catholics have to jump through a number of hoops), and was greeted by a cheery “No kidding? I thought you were gay!” Anyway, about a year later, we had a nice church wedding, and the planning didn’t interfere much with our careers. So, Estelle?
Even for an older bride, what you’re doing ain’t normal.

Anonymous said...

A whimsical zoo theme??? Holy moley, and we thought getting excited about color-coded manila folders was childish. Wow! Ed has got to be suffering a major case of buyer's remorse right about now. -- Scottie

KitKat Load More said...

Panel 1: Is June drawing Superman? Hmmmm...

Ed, you should've run a background check on Estelle before popping the question. Ask her about a guy named Arthur/Arther for starters. What other skeletons are dancing in her closet?

@fauxprof, thanks for sharing your wedding anecdotes. I bet color-coded manila folders never entered your mind!

"Buyer's remorse" - bingo, @Scottie!

BTW, everyone, I'm happy and grateful to report that after 5+ very tough months, I am feeling much better. For a while there I feared that I would never feel like myself again - argh. I'm so glad I fiund the help I needed. Much love and thanks to all of you for your kindness and support!

MissScarlet said...

Animal masks!! Did anyone else immediately think of the movie Eyes Wide Shut? Run, Ed, run!!

Anonymous said...

@KitKat -- That's wonderful news! Very happy for you, and God Bless. -- Scottie

KitKat Load More said...

It appears that Ed is married to his job, so Estelle is going to sulk. It's time for Mary to weigh in with some unappealing baked good and half-baked platitudes. Maybe she can introduce Estelle to Iris, who can share her wedding-planning tips.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are better KitKat. How long before Ed goes ballistic? Or Estelle packs up to "take a break "?

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

@KitKat, glad you are feeling better! And I for one am delighted by Estelle’s transformation into Whimsical Zoo Bridezilla. I was afraid we were descending into weeks of unbearable saccharine gushing over the Major Nuptials. I think it will be perfectly delightful to watch Ed grow increasingly grim and haggard under the weight of Dire Euthanasia Cases, with resentment building till he dramatically jilts Estelle at the altar, her elaborate giraffe mask crumpled and tear-stained like a cross between Miss Havisham and Doctor Doolittle, as Estranged Cousin Pam gloats evilly beneath a capybara costume.

MissScarlet said...

OH yes @KitKat, I should have posted my congratulations yesterday. Good for you persisting until you found relief. So good to have you posting again.

How did we not see the shallowness of Estelle before? I guess we got a hint at her gullibility with the Artur 'affair', but not how self-centered she was. I love @ Dr. Cameron's suggestions for the future. Sure hope Moy is reading.

Tiny fork said...

@KitCat, Glad you’re feeling better and are back!

Today, I just noticed a resemblance between Ed (not Ned) and Anthony Perkins in Psycho and his current mood shift seems to be swinging him more in that direction. “Odin! Oh dog, Odin! Blood! Blood!”

Tiny fork said...

@KitKat, I meant. Apologies, I am the king of typos.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Oh really Estelle, it’s more complex than you expected?! I could have sworn you were the one insisting on some sort of elaborate animal mask spectacle. Don’t give up now, pulling off a whimsical zoo theme is going to require a great deal of regimented organization. You need to get out that Manila folder and start drawing up seating charts organized by taxonomic phylum, order, and genus of each guest’s mask! And page Ed mid-euthanasia case to ask him what order a wildebeest is in!

fauxprof said...

So, who is on the guest list for Whimsical Zoo themed Major Nuptial? Besides estranged cousin Pam and the inevitable Mary Worth? I’m not aware that Estelle has any friends at all. She didn’t even get invited to the fish funeral. I suppose she could ask all the online dating disasters, culminating with Arther/Arthur/Artur and Wilbur. Art will pilfer the gift table, and Wilbur will try to play out the final scene from “The Graduate”.

MissScarlet said...

And just like that *snap* Moy slingshots us back to love birds and alien pets.
This is beyond weird.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Cameron is absolutely right. Organization is a must! What would happen if, say, a snake-masked person was carelessly seated next to the mongoose-masked person? Oh the horror! -- Scottie

KitKat said...

All sense of time has been muddled. Is this still the morning after the Big Engagement, or have Estelle and her animals from hell moved in with Ed? If she's already scheduling interviews with musicians (a clown band?), it's got to be later, right?

Picking up where @fauxprof left us, other than her vulnerability to romance scams, we know very little about Estelle. Does she have a surname? Any previous marriages? Did she ever work? I have a vague recollection that KM implied Estelle was financially comfortable; she sent five-figure sums to Arthur/Arther without blinking, and I think she once mentioned owning a Volvo. Then again, everyone in this strip seems to be rolling in dough. No one mentions food prices, large hikes in insurance premiums, increases in postal rates, etc. etc. Anyway, blog veterans, is there more about Estelle than my recollections?

fauxprof said...

@KitKat, I can’t even remember how Estelle met Ed. Took her pets to his vet clinic, I guess. I vaguely remembered that Mary somehow saved Estelle from
Arthur/Arther, dumped Libby on her, dumped Wilbur on her, then Wilbur dumped Pierre on her, then she dumped Wilbur…sorry, I dozed off, there. What were we talking about?

LouiseF said...

Love all the exotic mask references, especially the image of Estelle in "her elaborate giraffe mask crumpled and tear-stained". Priceless, Dr. Cameron! Attaching a recent interview with Karen Moy, who turns out to be an alumna of Binghamton University and (not unsurprising to me) is a fan of "The Twilight Zone". Perhaps JB will illustrate Estelle and Ed's wedding with people wearing animal masks that turn out to be the faces they are then stuck with for life, as in Twilight Zone episode 145 "The Masks"... ANYWAY, I am so glad KitKat is feeling better and we can all enjoy the silliness that is the Worthiverse. https://www.binghamton.edu/news/story/4977/bringing-the-mary-worth-world-to-life

meg said...

Bridezillestelle, unable to execute her ideas for the Animal Farm nuptials, calls on Mary for assistance.

‘Of course, dear. I remember the theme of my wedding to dear Jack. The theme was the Spanish American War,- so timely! And Jack wore a Teddy Roosevelt style uniform- he kept murmuring in my ear about charging up San Juan Hill, but not like a Rough Rider…’

‘Yes, Mary, but how should the guests be seated, by phylum, or mixed together…’

‘Oh, Estelle, all animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others. I think all the animals like horses, giraffes, buffalo, dogs, tigers, should be seated in front. That would give them more room for their hooves.’

‘But Mary, I thought all the bi-peds like birds, chimpanzees, kangaroos, penguins should be in front.’

‘No, dear, two legs good, four legs better. Besides, you don’t want the altar all covered with bird droppings and feathers and chimpanzee dung.’


Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS

KitKat said...

"Bridezillestelle" and a Spanish-American War theme for Mary and Dear Jack -- @meg, you're brilliant!

Even Ed is getting into the act by asking Estelle to take the reins. Ed, you're killing us.

Other than Mary, who will be invited to the wedding? Who else does Estelle know -- Wilbur and Mr. Alora? Maybe Arthur/Arther can attend via Zoom.

MissScarlet said...

What?! They talked it out like adults and came up with a workable compromise?!! What will Moy think of next?

Thunderheels said...

KitKat and Meg, you are slaying it. Any wagers on the day of the nuptials Dr. Ed gets an emergency call that Fluffy needs his immediate attention? Everyone is left to wait while he gives the poor girl a laxative.

meg said...

Next stop: the wedding caterer. Estelle decides on a grazing menu. And cocktails- Moscow mule, grasshopper, salty dog, Famous Olde Grouse and ginger ale, horse’s neck, Ian’s flask, and Kit-Kat’s cooler.

Now Estelle (and Mary, too, every dern step of the way) stops in at Mutton Dressed as Lamb Bridal Fashion. Mary shops next door at Bodacious Biddies Eveningwear.

Meanwhile, Toby shops at Forever 41 but is unable to find skirts that are short enough for her liking.

KitKat said...

I had to scroll through previous comments eleven times to be able to post today -- argh. (Five times only got me up to Christmas.) We gotta be persistent to post, right, friends?

"Forever 41" -- hahahahahaha, @meg!

The Santa Royale Veterinarians Association has six members, including Ed. The convention tomorrow is at a Bob Evans.

fauxprof said...

It’s worth the scrolling! Our meg is totally on fire with the shopping spree! And, KitKat, If all the vets bring guests, they’re gonna need the big corner booth at Bob Evans. (The darned autocratic autocorrect kept insisting on an apostrophe in “Evans”. If you’re from Ohio, you know!)

MissScarlet said...

Unfortunately, we don't have Bob Evans in California. But the Earl Warren Showgrounds is a likely location for a veterinary convention. It's where all the horse shows are. Also where the fairs are held and the antique shows. Mary should join them.

Meg I love your liquor menu. May I add Lion's Tail, Monkey Gland and Greyhound? Also Lazy Lizard Syrah and Catfield Chardonnay.

What are the odds that Estelle falls in love with someone else at the convention?

hmmm said...

KitKat, I think you may be a little too optimistic. Didn't some potential client of Ed's write a scathing review about his practice because she couldn't get a timely appointment and had to take her Pekingese to a vet in Goleta or somewhere? I think the convention is going to consist of Ed, Steven, and Jared. Jared isn't technically a vet but because he knows everything about exotic animals, he's been invited. Maybe he'll be Steven's "plus one."
Anyway, I see Steven as being the wrench that's about to be thrown into the wedding plans. He's probably jobless and homeless by now and Ed will have to take him in thus there will be no room in that teeny, tiny, one bedroom house of his for Estelle, her weirdo pets, and her piano. Ed will have to swap out that double bed for twins. At least, I hope he will.
BTW - So good to read that you're back on your feet again, KitKat!

LouiseF said...

Great comments, everyone!

Anonymous said...

@KitKat -- I assume you are doing all that scrolling because you're on your phone. I read and comment on this fine family feature on my desktop, and I have no problem. Zip zip zip, and I'm there. Something to think about while we await the drama that will no doubt throw the Santa Royale Veterinarians Convention into total chaos. -- Scottie

KitKat said...

@Scottie, I usually use Mr. KitKat's iPad to read and comment. Getting to the newest comments is simple, thanks to you, but once I click on Post a Comment I'm taken back to the old comments and have to scroll to post at the end. I'll double check with our laptop to see if that's easier. Thank you!

Ooh, the veterinarians' convention. I thought KM might drag out the preparation for that till Sunday, with Estelle rummaging through her closet looking for the perfect outfit, perhaps a fur-trimmed suit, as she practiced veterinary lingo in front of the mirror.

fauxprof said...

So, Ed doesn’t have any contact with his fellow veterinarians except for this convention? No consults or referrals where they might at least conversed with
Estelle as the clinic’s volunteer receptionist? Apparently, there’s no socializing. It strikes me that in the Worthiverse, nobody has colleagues. The closest we ever got was Ian’s crazy stalker lady. I think Mary is exercising coercive control, and makes sure there are no outside relationships without her prior approval.

Tiny fork said...

@KitKat Fir me, the big revelation about posting after the blogpocalypse was that I can comment on any page of Wanders’ last post, i.e. the “They Call it a Screwdriver” entry, and my comment will show up for today. So, when I try to comment, even if it takes me back to July, I add my comment and it will show up as the latest post for today.

Meanwhile, nothing happening but the banal chitchat of Ed and Estelle. @MissScarlet, I hope you are right about Estelle meeting someone else. Maybe Arteur or however that’s spelled.

KitKat said...

THIS IS A TEST. Per Tiny fork's post on August 28, I'm commenting to confirm that my post will display as newest. Fingers crossed! BTW, Arthur/Arther did have a dog, albeit chained in his junk-strewn yard, so he and Estelle had something in common.

KitKat said...

Hallelujah, it worked! @Scottie and @Tiny fork, thank you thank you thank you!

tiny tuba said...

You guys are good at figuring this "technology" out! I love keeping up with your comments, and only wish I had anything worthy to add. Seriously, you make my day.

Thunderheels said...

Hi. Just seeing if this comment makes it. Still can't on my laptop.

Chester the Dog said...

Veterinary lingo? "Your dog has worms, pay at the window, snakes do not have nipples, that kitchen sponge will work its way out eventually."

MissScarlet said...

I like the idea that Steven will enter back into this love fest (@fauxprof ??). He's the only other character (well, except Mary and Wilbur, of course) who has been in this plot, so it seems like he could make a dramatic re-appearance. Maybe he could set up a new practice in Santa Royale. That would even take some of the workload off of Ed. Maybe he could be one of those new specialty vets that practice botox and ozempic for dogs (is that even a thing?).

LouiseF said...

So Estelle thinks all she needs is a crash course in "veterinary lingo" in order to present at the conference? How about a nice "polydactyl" smack in the kisser, Estelle? That platypus waddling away could definitely send you landing on your gluteus maximus. That should impress those poorly educated veterinarians. Talk like hers could put off the invitees Ed is planning to add to the wedding guest list. What a dip this woman is....

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