Dawn and Dirk go on a hike at Picadee Falls, where Dawn nearsightedly falls over the edge. Dirk laughs uproariously while Dawn grasps at a trailing vine. “Wow, you’re really clumsy, Nerdgirl!”
"As Dawn leaves for another date with Dirk" -- what day is it? I think we may have seen Dawn's outfit, including that choker, before. I miss Wanders and his "Please recycle here" insertions [sigh]?
I assume this is the Charterstone lobby, which means Mary will instantly materialize and accompany Dawn to Northview Hospital, where Dawn will run into nerdboy Jared Mylo.
Well, that didn't take long. Was Dawn planning on driving without her glasses? Yikes. Although it would have been fun to see her mowing Ian down in the parking lot. Tomorrow we'll see Mary poking her head around the corner of the mail room having felt the tremor from Dawn's collision with the door. Will she insist that Dawn move in with Hanna Dingdon? I agree, KitKat. I think we've seen that dog collar before. But maybe not the pink pants and purple shirt combo. She's sporting the French Tuck look and I don't think that was in style back in Wanders' day.
Dawn -- and this entire story line -- graduates from dumb to dumber. Can't wait to see the ugly bruise she just gave herself. Make it a good one, June. -- Scottie
The Oracle of Charterstone speaks: Dirk will drive her to the ER. Jared, as usual, is lurkin’ and snoopin’ and spyin’ and hopin’, when he spots the seemingly battered Dawn, arriving at Triage with the hulkin’ Dirk. Dawn can’t see Jared without her glasses. When the nurse asks Dawn the now-standard question, “Are you frightened by anyone in your home?”, Jared remembers where he’s seen Dirk before: bringing in several different young women, each with a bruise or laceration! Jared morphs into his secret (and underwhelming) action hero, Luke Skywalker. Dirk defeats Nerdboy, and Nerdboy loses his job. And then, just in case anyone needs sleep, Jared will ask Mary for advice.
Wow! Meg! Great story! I really needed the pick-me-up of you all today. Sitting amid smoke and ashes, we are in a "warning" area for the SoCa fires. Smoke and ash everywhere.
Meg, that was terrific as usual! It made me laugh so heartily that I almost walked into a door. But then I'm not a Weston, so I was able to escape injury. Well done! -- Scottie
Once again, KM disappoints us -- grrr. There's nary a mark on Dawn and no trip to the ER.
Was Dumb Dirk lurking outside the Charterstone lobby, and how many tactless remarks is Dawn willing to swallow? Dirk needs a rap on the head, not a slow-burn "Hmmpf!" (And he's wearing that brown t-shirt again -- ugh.)
MissScarlet, Dirt's the dictionary definition of a meathead. Maybe that's finally dawning on Dawn - she's got him by the throat, sort of. Will she follow through and dump him, or will she wilt if he grabs her for a big smooch?
D & D don't fit in with the Triptides's fans in the background..
Now, now Dawn; there's no need to get physical. The next time Dirt asks you out, you say "No". Remind him that you are vegan now and don't date meat heads.
Oh meg, that's a perfect Mae West remark! Adding to the fun is a cameo appearance by Chin Napkin. We've missed you, Chinny.
Telling Dirt to quit it didn't keep Dawn from going to a burger joint with him (and I bet that's not a plant-based burger on Dawn's plate). Maybe KM has a big Sunday moment waiting in the wings. I'd like to see Dawn heave the napkin holder at Mr. Gorgeous.
Sorry, Gang. I'm with Dirk on this one. The last thing I want, is to be sitting across from someone watching ketchup or mayonnaise drip down their chin. Maybe it's a genetic thing and she can't help it, but still. Gross.
@hmmmm; disagree strongly. If your dining companion needs to know about something on their face, there are many polite, and kinds ways to let them know. However, you may be onto something about the genetic component.
Look back to March 20, 2020: In the early days of the Pandemic, Dawn does not ask permission when she leans across a diner table, Chin Napkin in hand, and gently dabs hamburger goo off of JARED’S CHIN. Now, SHE’S the messy eater and getting all defensive with Dirk about it.
Note from Meg’s husband: pathetic, isn’t she? It was even worse when she talked about Dick Tracy all the time. I fear the inevitable intrusion of Dagwood into our family life (wipes tears from his eyes with Chin Napkin’s small, luncheon-sized cousin, Chin Wipe).
Goodness, a special appearance by Mr. meg! This is a red-letter day.
Good heavens, Dawn's vision must be terrible if she can't see what's right in front of her. Is Wilbur aware of this? (Never mind, Wilbur's only aware of Wilbur.) I'm surprised that Dirt didn't say "You're blind as a bat! I'll call you Bat Girl!"
If D & D were at the Bum Boat instead of Greasy Spoon City, Mary could have come to their table and decked Dirt while Jeff held her sweater.
Okay, let's guess. Does Dawn's expression imply that she's finally figured out what a creep Dirk is or is she simply wondering how she's going to find the Ladies Room without her glasses? Yeah, I thought so.
Suddenly, a process server jumps out from behind the booth. “In the name of the State of California, and of my client, the Honourable Mrs. Mary Worth, I hereby demand that you cease and desist from using the .term ‘let me tell you a story’ which is reserved exclusively for the use of Mrs. Worth!” Dirk: “Thanks a lot, Law Boy.”
Oh, my....he has a story. What could it be? He was abused as a child by someone who wore glasses? He used to wear glasses but he was bullied, so he had Lasix surgery? He was told as a child that nothing was ever his fault and that he could do no wrong? He hooked up on Tinder and his date looked nothing like her picture? Oh, the horror!
Way to start the week... A teaser that a story is forthcoming. I fear the story will be drawn out, with Dawn pausing to gulp back tears by Wednesday. NO story explains this cretin's behavior, and the fact that he thinks a story will somehow absolve him for behaving like a cretin makes me wish Mary would show up wearing a superhero cape and deploy Dirk to Southern California to help with firefighting.
Friends, I can't get past Dirk's parents being "successful pharmacists." Does that mean no persons for whom the Tandys filled prescriptions died? Did they earn millions of dollars compared to the pittance earned by unsuccessful pharmacists?
Good point, KitKat - that's too funny. Okay, so poor Dirk was a privileged kid whose parents divorced. Wow, that's a unique situation, Dirk. I'm sure no other kid had to experience such trauma. Dawn, this might be a good time to jump in with the fact that your parents divorced when you were a kid, and that your mother is a rich, you-know-what, who never wanted anything to do with you. Sorry, Dirk, you're going to have to dial this pitiful story up a few notches. Oh, and as for the "You'll do as I say" business? I suppose you'll blame that on your parents too. News flash, Dirk, that's what parents always say. Often with the caveat, "Because I said so."
Dirt continues: I never felt like I fit in. Always felt like my parents didn't care about me. So now I am mean and call people names so they will feel as bad as I do. Let's lay money on whether Dawn cries on Wednesday, as @Louise has suggested.
Well, no tears today. Just a wistful sigh. Ah, poor me. So now what happens? Mutual comfort? I didn't hear an apology or an explanation from Dirt. We just gonna let his boorish behavior go?
Until Dawn moved to Santa Royale to be with Wilbur, who apparently is so worthy of scorn even those who might have bullied Dawn took pity on her. Where IS this story going? Two sad sacks....
If the Charterstone Jukebox was still operational, we could request "Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places" for Dawn.
Thus, Dirt and Dawn bond over being from broken homes, neglected by their battling parents, and bullied by their peers. What better way to begin a healthy relationship?
Dirk: My parents fought a lot, and I couldn't handle it. Dawn: I see your fighting parents, and raise you a hateful mother. Dirk: I see your hateful mother, and raise you a cold father. Dawn: I see your cold father, and raise you a father that spent a month at a resort while I thought he was dead. Dirk: You win, nerdgirl.
Dirk: ‘‘And I was never allowed to have a cool Hallowe’en costume. I was always forced to wear a pharmacist’s white coat while the other kids had cool costumes like Spider-Man or a pirate. Although when I was 12 my dad got me a Patriots number 12 jersey. My mom said I looked just like Tom Brady, only with pimples.” Dawn: “Omigosh, what time is it? I don’t wanna be late for my vegan awards banquet- and I have burgers on my breath! Bye- see you sometime.”
Thunderheels and meg, those were hilarious comments - huzzah!
Tomorrow: Dirk and Dawn wander aimlessly at Santa Royale Super Duper Mall: Dawn: "I'm back to my contacts - hallelujah!" Dirk: "I guess I can't call you 'Nerdgirl' anymore. I'll call you 'Rag Doll' because your hair always looks like you cut it with pinking shears!"
If Dawn is so severely visually impaired and prone to eye irritation, perhaps she should consult an ophthalmologist. But that’s harder to spell. And Dirk will think up another demeaning nickname, anyway.
It looks like Mary won't be needed to advise Dawn, thank heaven. We don't have to hear her tell Dawn to just wait until she can again wear her contact lenses, and then she'll be eligible to marry Dirk! Now let's move on.
KitKat's comment two for the day: Mr. KitKat and I were discussing Dirk's parents being "successful pharmacists." Mr. K. remarked that they might have been selling drugs on the street, which would've been both lucrative and a source of tax-free income.
Oh, Mr. K! What a wise and witty interpretation of the “successful pharmacists!” But, sadly, I must warn you: that would be interesting, and interesting is not part of the Mary Worth mission statement. Tsk!
The Comics Curmudgeon had such a great comment today that I want to share it with all of you. “Wilbur walking back from the airport, wearing a sombrero, arms loaded with luggage, clumsily bumps into Dirk knocking him in front of a city bus is probably the only solution to this story line that doesn’t require real insight.” –Hibbleton
Oh, I just had a horrible thought! (As opposed to the benign, warm-hearted ones I usually have.). What if Dirk is an addict? That might explain his red-faced angry attempted domination of Dawn.
I doubt we'll see "Dirk Goes to a Twelve Step Program" in the Moyzone, meg. BTW, I wonder if Dawn knows that Mary has taken over "Ask Wendy" for her father. Dawn may not even know that Wilbur writes it.
Doesn't Dawn have Jared saved as a contact in her phone, or is Jared (who still resembles Harpo Marx) one of those people who always says "It's [name]!" He doesn't know how to hold a mobile phone, either. Say, wouldn't it be a coincidence if Dirk Dirt is Jess's abusive ex?
The pink people have infiltrated Northview Hospital's cafe.
Jared also strangely resembles Mark Zuckerberg! I think that Jess was mugged and robbed, rather than having been brutalized by an ex. But…maybe Dirk was the brutal mugger (who then used Jess’s cash to buy drugs). Hope the miserable foursome go rock climbing at Piccadee Falls!
Oh...@KitKat, it would be great if Dirt had been Jess' assailant; so of course, it won't happen. Also, either Dirt doesn't climb rocks, or he will go and be insufferable, rude, pushy and arrogant.
So, the latter; arrogant, pushy, rude...and Jared doesn't want to appear jealous. Sure, everyone wants a boyfriend who is demeaning and demanding. But I don't think we can expect Dawn to figure this out, so it will have to be Jared and Jess to the rescue.
Yeah, Jared, Dawn seems happy, so don’t say anything to her about your misgivings. She wouldn’t listen, anyway. You can wait until she’s wheeled in to your ER.
Dirk: "So, Jared, tell me how you did it." Jared: "Did what?" Dirk: "You know. Trained your girlfriend to keep her mouth shut and just sit there with that vacuous look on her face."
Dirt goes on to prove he's every bit as obnoxious as we think he is. Meanwhile, Dawn and Jared continue to vie for the title of 'most self effacing'. Clearly, Jess wins that one, hands down.
It looks to me as if Dawn has somehow managed to stick the tines of her fork into the side of her cheek. But if that is food, I'd be hard-pressed not to gag if I were sitting at that table. How it is possible that anyone over the age of 6 isn't aware that they've slobbered food on their face? And... thanks, KitKat!
I am probably wrong, but wasn't part of the storyline a long time ago (in real time, not Worthyverse time) that Jerod took Karate classes? I hope I am right, it would be interesting to see a throw down between Dirk and Jerod. I am not sure what I am thinking. Interesting action in MW?
She's eating a steak platter, for heaven's sake! It's not terribly messy. It's not a chili dog or a sloppy joe. But aside from Dawn's similarity to her dad, Dirt has reliable acted like a jerk again. And Jess sits as silent as a statue. Maybe Moy didn't show us the part where her assailant made her mute?
"Yeah, we'll have the Golden Age Victory Steak Pie, and these two total disasters will have the loser's crow, with a side of . . . uh, failed loser." -- Scottie
Got lost here... What exactly did Dirk and Co. win? I don't see any trophies or big checks being bandied about, so how can we corral this pathetic schmuck who must have lost at sandbox in preschool in order to act like this at the age of 40...
What, no Sunday fisticuffs? Such a letdown - Jared's thought balloons don't do anything. Dirty Dirk is so busy scolding Dawn that he didn't even pick up on the Han-Leia mention, which was his cue to call Jared "Nerdboy."
Dawn and Dirk have been together a few weeks and she's proposing a couples photo shoot, with a guy who's been raising multiple red flags? Egad. (Anyone else find Dawn scratching DD's neck creepy? Ugh.)
I could be wrong, but it looks like Karen is trying to tell us that Dirk is not a very nice fellow. We should know for sure sometime next month. -- Scottie
We're a few days away from Mary knocking at the Weston door, carrying a basket of muffins. "Hello, Dawn dear, I just baked seven dozen muffins. Would you like some? You seem a teensy-weensy bit down in the dumps."
Boy, Dawn has no self esteem whatsoever. If Wanders was still here, I'd request "Make the Man Love Me" (from "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" for the Charterstone Jukebox.
1. Maybe it's not you who needs to measure up. 2. Looks like he hasn't ever loved you. 3. Threats and bullying are not love. 4. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
She didn't knock on the Weston door, but Mary unleashed a muffin ambush nonetheless. Chocolate muffins with Splak morsels....
It'll be telling to see what Dawn tells Mary. Is she going to mention Dirty Dirk's controlling, criticism, and belittling? Will she tell Mary that he cursed her and grabbed her wrist in a threatening manner? Or will KM drop the ball and just present a typical platitude barrage by Mary?
Still wondering why I can't see KitKat's comments although apparently the rest of you can... Any ideas, anyone? Thanks, if so. And, Miss Scarlet, thank you for the DV guidance. I also really dislike this plot. Dawn is a ditz, mostly messed up by a childhood populated by thoughtless parents, who may not have taught her to wipe her mouth when eating, but she doesn't deserve the treatment Dirk head is dishing out. Hoping Mary has just completed a training at Hospital to assist with advising those in situations like Dawn's, which, unfortunately, are all too common. Sigh...
I'm mystified that LouiseF is unable to see my comments. Is KM selectively blocking me?
No matter what variety of muffins Mary bakes, they always look the same - underbaked and unappetizing. These sure don't look like chocolate. Note that Mary gave Dawn a tiny plate; as hmmm noted, Mary knows that Dawn is a messy eater.
@ Louise; I love 'dirk head'! Oh, so that was what that weird conversation was about; he opened up to her about his childhood. Bah! Humbug! Meanwhile, Dawn looks like she's stoned.
MissScarlet, in commenting on the way Dawn looked yesterday, you may have identified Mary's secret muffin ingredient.
"Dirk isn't as romantic or kind as he used to be." They've been dating for A MONTH, for Pete's sake. It's hard to sympathize with someone who's as dense as Dawn. Even Mary seems to be losing patience with her.
Does Dawn even hear her own self? "He's...mean". If she can't hear herself say those words, I doubt she will hear Mary telling her the truth: It's not a healthy relationship. By the way Dawn, being determined to make the relationship 'work' may just land you in the hospital.
He really is a great guy -- you know, when he's not mean, demanding, and controlling. Yikes, this is Moyzone Preferred Premier Platinum Plus stuff. -- Scottie
Too bad Mary doesn't add truth serum to her muffins... Plus I love Dawn's comment that Dirk "isn't as romantic or kind as he used to be", as if they had been together for years. And thanks, Mary, for that "two way street" comment. I'm not sure Dawn drives, so she may not be able to translate Mary's words out of metaphor status.
Dawn demonstrates the epitome of low self confidence: she hasn't been successful with guys so she will sublimate her own needs and desires to prove that she can make it with Dirk-head, even if it kills her. Anonymous: I thought that we had seen Dawn drive before, but now that you mention it, I'm not sure. Seems like she was meeting Jared some place, and he was driving his taped together jalopy.
Dawn: "Yeah, but I haven't got to the good part yet, and told you what it's like to have this gorgeous hunk of a man grab me and throw me across..." Mary: (stuffing a chocolate chip into each ear) "lalalalalala... You know what Dawn, your boyfriend's right; you are a slob. Just look at the muffin crumbs you've spit out all over my sofa. Beat it."
p.s. to MissScarlet and Anon. I remember seeing Dawn drive a couple of times; in her little mini Cooper.
Gotta admit: Mary's giving solid advice for once. Of course, she doesn't follow the 'two way street' part. But she always sticks up for herself. Anyone wanna bet if Dawn takes her advice before Dirk-head does some serious damage?
hmmm. Thanks for the Mini memory. It all comes back to me now.
Gee, I expected several more muffin-filled days in Mary's living room, not the Weston apartment with Dawn on Dirt-head's (an apt name, Worthiverse friends!) lap. Bowling for blood with Jared and Jess - what fun! Dirt-head's already half in the bag, which will add to the hilarity. Just picture him throwing a bowling ball at Jared.
To make bowling even more fun, Dawn and Jared wore their best vintage clothing. Jared's rocking his Ozzie Nelson vibe.
None of us are surprised that Dawn rolled a gutter ball. How many days until Jared says, "Now see here, my good man, I don't approve of the way you speak to Dawn," and Dirk-head heaves his bowling ball at Jared?
KitKat is right, of course. We all knew that Dawn would bowl a gutter ball. But I think we have to give her credit for that zig-zag roll down the alley. I can't imagine how she did that!
Dawn, Dirk is not good at everything. He's a rage-aholic and is terrible at relating to people. Maybe all that red meat he consumes adds to his problems.
I must say that Dirk is finally showing some progress in his relationship with Dawn. Dawn, knowing how badly Dirk treated her on the last double-date with Jared and Jess, knowing how vitally important it is to him to win everything, every time, and knowing that she's a lousy bowler, she STILL thought it would be fun for the four of them to go bowling. So, Dirk has finally stopped lying and told Dawn the truth. She IS an idiot. I'm proud of you, Dirk.
Dirk will take a swing at Jared for interviewing. Black belt Jared will then beat the living (insert family unfriendly word of choice here) out of him.
@KitKat, much as I would love to see Jared kick Dirt's butt, I think we will see that Dirt-head is a typical bully, and he will back down when confronted head on. I wonder, with all the yelling, why there aren't other people taking notice. Isn't it kind of weird that Dirt's outbursts are typically in public?
MissScarlet, today there's a woman one lane over who appears mildly aware, but that's been it. Jess has been blase, even as she witnessed multiple instances of Dirk's awful behavior. Maybe the citizens of Santa Royale don't want to get involved, don't pay attention, or don't care.
Ah, yes, KitKat; I see miss Lavender Lily. She does look concerned, but maybe not enough to do anything (until the brawl starts?). Meanwhile, the only thought I have on Jess is that maybe she's shell shocked and suffering PTSD symptoms because of her memories of her own past. That would be interesting to explore. Especially if she shared them with Dawn...so, it won't happen.
Dirk: Enough whut, Nerd boy? Jared: If you’re going to browbeat Dawn, please get it over with before my parents arrive with their nude yoga and bowling group. Jess and Dawn: Ewwwww! Let’s get out of here! Meg: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I’m relishing the notion that Dawn picked up the bowling ball with intent to deliberately drop it on his foot! It wasn’t her turn to bowl and her ball was guacamole green. The ball dropped on Dirk’s foot was his own ball, the plum purple one. Now his foot will match his (bowling) ball. Respect!
Overlooking Dawn's passive-aggressive action, I'm glad to see that the other bowlers are finally paying attention. Now, if Dawn will just hold up her head and tell Dirk-head where he can go. @Meg: even better if she and Jess ride off together into the sunset.
MissScarlet, Dawn and Jess could be the Thelma and Louise of Santa Royale. Meanwhile, Aeschylus is rolling over in his grave at KM's wacky use of his words. Tomorrow: Dirk's carotid artery bursts - "GASP!!!!"
As far as I can tell, Dawn met Dirk on or about Dec. 21st. He began being mean to her on their big Christmas date. The meanness continued for a month.
On Jan. 23 at 9:47 AM, I pleaded on this very fine forum, " Okay, Moy, we get it already. Let's move this along to its no doubt unexciting conclusion."
An now today, I believe we have finally finally seen the very first teeny tiny suggestion of an advancement in this idiotic storyline in six weeks. Hallelujah!. Maybe Dark Dirk will be out of the picture by Labor Day. -- Scottie
Gasp! Dawn has obviously recalled Mary’s story of how she discouraged the eager and obnoxious Ted Miller. “I remember it just like it was yesterday. He was making a hot, hard, and heavy pass at me- you youngsters would say he was ‘coming on to me’. I picked up the first hard, round and heavy thing I could grab, and it was a tray full of my special muffins- he fell to the floor and never realized what hit him.”
Gotta admit, I kinda like this. It's like Dirk-head is so stupid that he forgot he was in a public place. Dawn looks positively bold - even a little ticked off (not a lot, unfortunately). I would imagine that the collective "GASP" will be enough to clue Dawn into realizing how awful the love of her life really is. Certainly she would never be able to figure this out on her own. She's a 30-something college student with a still undeclared major!
Well, well, well, Dawn finally found her inner muffin and inner bowling ball, but the gasping crowd sure dissipated quickly. How many days until Dawn bumps into Mary and thanks her profusely for saving her from Dirty Dirk? Speaking of DD, it would be funnier to see him jumping off on one foot instead of stalking off.
Not only is Dawn all better now (thought certainly, this will happen again and again, thanks to Dawn's poor memory and inability to learn life lessons); but Jess has identified Dirk as a jerk. Progress! Good on you Jess!
I was just trying to remember what Dirk does for work. He works part time at Belltown Automall. Not a car salesman…I’ll bet he washes the cars…or drives to the auto supply store to pick up parts. Says he’s going to “use his public relations skills in the corporate arena”. His relations in public places have shown little skill. I doubt the Dirk story has finished….”
@Meg: thanks for the memories. Dirk the jerk appears to also be a liar. I'm surprise Jared is so clueless. But, of course, Jess knows what to do. Maybe Dawn and Jess will end up together after all. Will Jared be happy for them?
I have whiplash going from BOWL to Mary and Jeff on the boardwalk so fast -- oww! Mary, I suggest you reconsider the blue hair. You look haggard as H-E-double hockey sticks with it.
Happy Valentine's Day, Worthiverse friends! I love spending time with you.
Ol' Jeff just keeps coming back for . . . well, we can't say "for more," so let's just say he keeps coming back. By now, the man's patience and persistence in reaching for the unreachable star appears to have progressed to an obsession that would make Don Quixote roll his eyes. -- Scottie
Great stuff, everyone! Mary's frighteningly blue hair takes me back to old lady hair of the 1960s. I also notice that even in the stiff wind that is blowing her ugly scarf about, her hair retains that Aquanet hold... She needs to update her hairdresser. As for Dawn and Dirkhead, I foresee a lawsuit by Dirk to cover the cost of his fractured foot surgery since I doubt his Automall job provides health insurance...
I foresee that Wilbur will sent Dawn money to buy a new car. Mary volunteers to help her shop, and takes her to the Oldsmobuick dealer where Mary buys all her cars. Of course it’s located at the Belltown Automall, where Dirk works part time. I’m not sure what happens next, but it may involve a golf cart chasing Mary and Dawn around the lot (with the Benny Hill theme song blasting from the loudspeakers. No, I’m wrong, that can’t happen because it would be…….interesting.
LouiseF: I hope you can see this! If there's a candle on the table the next time Mary and Jeff hit the Bum Boat, Mary's Aquanetted hair might ignite if she gets too close to the flame. That would be almost as interesting as meg's golf cart scenario, meaning neither will happen.
Ahh, another evening with Mary and Jeff on the deserted, very short boardwalk to nowhere. No, Jeff, YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS WITH ALLSTATE!
MissScarlet and meg, whenever I hear "Yakety Sax" (okay, that's not too often these days) or even think about it, Benny Hill immediately comes to mind. Boots Randolph is smiling somewhere.
Today, it's back to BOWL, and our bubbly trio. Is this the conclusion of the latest episode of Dawn Looks for Love in All the Wrong Places, Including Bowling Centers, or will Dawn run into Mary tomorrow and trigger a week-long Mary Victory Lap?
Put on your walking shoes -- Mary Victory Lap coming right up! (I'd worry that my mind is starting to work like KM's, but all of us would have predicted this.)
I was hoping just a little that we would bypass the Mary congratulatory visit. Silly me! Looks like we are in for some white glop, splak and Mary-I-told-you-so conversation.
Dawn's skating on thin ice by pooh-poohing the ability of advice to make her feel better. Along with that home-cooked meal, Mary's Advice Machine is going to be working full blast. Prepare to duck, Dawn.
"Excuse me, what was that that just came out of your mouth? Did I hear you say my advice cannot help you? Because I thought I heard you say that my advice cannot help you."
You know, when you think about it, there isn't much Mary can say that could cheer Dawn up. 'You didn't take my advice before, did you?' 'Yes, you are gullible, needy, and a tad stupid'. 'I know I promised your dad I would look after you, but you are kind of hopeless'.
I'm hoping that Mary has forgotten about Dawn's weak attempt at going vegan and serves her a bunk slab of disgusting, bloody, roasted lamb. How anyone can eat a baby animal is beyond me.
Yes, hmmm! Except Mary may serve her new favorite seaweed sludge casserole to Dawn, and they can talk about how Dirk's rage is fueled by his meat eating.
So Dawn is heartbroken over her break up with Dirk. Which were the good parts of their brief relationship? Him mocking her and calling her names? His disregarding her wishes and ordering all-meat meals repeatedly? His screaming at her at the rock-climbing gym? His raging meltdown at the bowling alley when he criticized her bowling and screamed that she was a failure at everything? Wow, such wonderful memories! Perhaps she's clinging to times he called her "babe" and picked up the check for the steak platters she didn't want but meekly ate. Grrrrr....
@KitKat: I'm assuming that the good parts Dawn remembers can't be shown in a family comic strip (thank heavens). Meanwhile, Dawn says the break up was "for the best". Maybe there is hope for her after all. That's a nice pic Mary has on the wall, edelweiss and an alp?
"Dawn dear, aren't these beautifully arranged roses in front of your face beautifully arranged? Of course they are. But for the rest of the evening, whenever you say something, could you please look and speak directly into them? It would make them feel so good. Thanks." -- Scottie
Today's panel three: Dawn: By the way, Mary, I did drop a bowling ball on Dirk's foot when he got a teensy-weensy bit nasty with me."
Mary: "That was perfectly fine, dear. I once dropped a waffle iron on Jeff's foot when he was being a bit frisky with me. He learned his lesson and has never tried anything like that again."
So that’s why Dr. Jeff has that convenient Citizen Cane excuse why he doesn’t want to go somewhere! “Sorry, dear, I can’t go on a cruise with you and Toby… or to the competitive cake decorating, or to the great kidnapped dog hunt…”
"Dawn, please don't beat yourself up. This is not the first time you've failed at a relationship. And it sure as hell won't be the last. But that's okay, dear. I've got a whole silo full of muffin flour dedicated solely to the Westons to get us through this. I'm not going anywhere. And, of course, neither are you." -- Scottie
Dawn's Dirk-shaming is making Mary Sunshine uncomfortable. She always tries to see the good in everyone, and now this is dredging up repressed memories of Ted the Character. She's thinking it might be time to break out those special rum and thorazine muffins. -- Scottie
Rum and thorazine muffins - hahahahaha! Scottie, you have a wicked sense of humor.
I think it's odd that Mary didn't boast about her efforts to whip up a vegan dinner, nor did June draw it. With someone as credulous as Dawn, Mary could've served anythng and just pretended it was all vegan. BTW, Mary, nondairy "ice cream" is not necessarily vegan; it could still contain eggs, gelatin, or other animal products. Fess up, Mary, you're scamming Dawn. Tsk tsk!
Mary's therapeutic vegan meal has worked wonders! As Mary always knew it would. Plus, as long as she can ply Dawn with "coffee" she can get her to continue down the road of self revelation. Oh, if only we had a Mary in all of our lives - or rum and thorazine muffins.
Is "strong young woman" Dawn on an extended winter break from the U. of Santa Royale Community College? She hasn't been to class since before Christmas, and it's almost March.
As boring as this snooze week is, I'm anxious that next week might launch a new "Dogs are Good!" plot with Eve, Saul, and their bizarre animals. Waiting on KM is excruciating.
"By gum and by golly, I'm gonna get out there and find me a man who deserves me!" Sheesh. This dreck has to end Sunday, right? I mean, that's what I thought last Sunday, but it's over this Sunday for sure, right? Right?
@KitKat -- I'm up for a Zak and Iris story. I find them to be the two least annoying characters in this strip. I hope their marriage is drama-free and that Zak isn't regretting his choice of an older woman or anything. But if that were true, I guess there would be no point in doing a story about them. I mean, it would be nice if Moy would do an uplifting story once in a while. But even if she did, she'd probably dreck that all up too. Sigh. -- Scottie
Hmmm....what sort of person would that be? Lazy? Shallow? Uninteresting? Vegan (sometimes)? Bad at bowling? Dumb? I can hardly wait to see who turns up.
Scottie, as I read your comment, I pictured Dawn as Annie Oakley in "Annie Get Your Gun," trying to sing "You Cain't Get a Man with a Gun." Heavens to Betsy!
Chester the Dog, this is only (!) Thursday, so KM can't be teeing up a new story for tomorrow and the weekend. I figure we'll see Mary taking a personal victory lap in her brain, reviewing how much she helped Dawn and smiling triumphantly through Sunday. (There's an outside chance she'll encounter Toby and babble about Dawn to her.)
3,093 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2801 – 3000 of 3093 Newer› Newest»"Dirt" -- appropriate zinger, Miss Scarlet!
1. As Dawn "goes without," will she crash into someone while driving a car, riding a bike, inline skating, running, or walking at a brisk pace?
2. Will the someone be Mary; Mr. Alora; Eve, Saul, Max, and Greta; Jared Mylo, or Dirk Dirt himself (poetic justice!)
Dawn and Dirk go on a hike at Picadee Falls, where Dawn nearsightedly falls over the edge. Dirk laughs uproariously while Dawn grasps at a trailing vine. “Wow, you’re really clumsy, Nerdgirl!”
The foreshadowing is so loud that we are covering our ears waiting for the bang.
"As Dawn leaves for another date with Dirk" -- what day is it? I think we may have seen Dawn's outfit, including that choker, before. I miss Wanders and his "Please recycle here" insertions [sigh]?
I assume this is the Charterstone lobby, which means Mary will instantly materialize and accompany Dawn to Northview Hospital, where Dawn will run into nerdboy Jared Mylo.
Well, that didn't take long. Was Dawn planning on driving without her glasses? Yikes. Although it would have been fun to see her mowing Ian down in the parking lot. Tomorrow we'll see Mary poking her head around the corner of the mail room having felt the tremor from Dawn's collision with the door. Will she insist that Dawn move in with Hanna Dingdon?
I agree, KitKat. I think we've seen that dog collar before. But maybe not the pink pants and purple shirt combo. She's sporting the French Tuck look and I don't think that was in style back in Wanders' day.
Dawn -- and this entire story line -- graduates from dumb to dumber. Can't wait to see the ugly bruise she just gave herself. Make it a good one, June. -- Scottie
The Oracle of Charterstone speaks: Dirk will drive her to the ER. Jared, as usual, is lurkin’ and snoopin’ and spyin’ and hopin’, when he spots the seemingly battered Dawn, arriving at Triage with the hulkin’ Dirk. Dawn can’t see Jared without her glasses. When the nurse asks Dawn the now-standard question, “Are you frightened by anyone in your home?”, Jared remembers where he’s seen Dirk before: bringing in several different young women, each with a bruise or laceration! Jared morphs into his secret (and underwhelming) action hero, Luke Skywalker. Dirk defeats Nerdboy, and Nerdboy loses his job.
And then, just in case anyone needs sleep, Jared will ask Mary for advice.
Wow! Meg! Great story! I really needed the pick-me-up of you all today. Sitting amid smoke and ashes, we are in a "warning" area for the SoCa fires. Smoke and ash everywhere.
Meg, that was terrific as usual! It made me laugh so heartily that I almost walked into a door. But then I'm not a Weston, so I was able to escape injury. Well done! -- Scottie
Once again, KM disappoints us -- grrr. There's nary a mark on Dawn and no trip to the ER.
Was Dumb Dirk lurking outside the Charterstone lobby, and how many tactless remarks is Dawn willing to swallow? Dirk needs a rap on the head, not a slow-burn "Hmmpf!" (And he's wearing that brown t-shirt again -- ugh.)
Does Dirt remind anyone else of a meathead?
MissScarlet, Dirt's the dictionary definition of a meathead. Maybe that's finally dawning on Dawn - she's got him by the throat, sort of. Will she follow through and dump him, or will she wilt if he grabs her for a big smooch?
D & D don't fit in with the Triptides's fans in the background..
Could Dawn be starting to show signs of sticking up for herself? I doubt it, but I remain hopeful.
Is that Jared in the background with the plaid jacket and a watch cap? Maybe there’s still hope for Nerd v. Meathead action?
Now, now Dawn; there's no need to get physical. The next time Dirt asks you out, you say "No". Remind him that you are vegan now and don't date meat heads.
Mary is overdue for an entry here....
Is that a French fry in your hand, Dirk, or are you just annoyed to see me?
Oh meg, that's a perfect Mae West remark! Adding to the fun is a cameo appearance by Chin Napkin. We've missed you, Chinny.
Telling Dirt to quit it didn't keep Dawn from going to a burger joint with him (and I bet that's not a plant-based burger on Dawn's plate). Maybe KM has a big Sunday moment waiting in the wings. I'd like to see Dawn heave the napkin holder at Mr. Gorgeous.
Sorry, Gang. I'm with Dirk on this one. The last thing I want, is to be sitting across from someone watching ketchup or mayonnaise drip down their chin. Maybe it's a genetic thing and she can't help it, but still. Gross.
Oh, oh...we've left annoying and stupid and are heading straight into abusive territory. Jared! Stat!
@hmmmm; disagree strongly. If your dining companion needs to know about something on their face, there are many polite, and kinds ways to let them know. However, you may be onto something about the genetic component.
Look back to March 20, 2020:
In the early days of the Pandemic, Dawn does not ask permission when she leans across a diner table, Chin Napkin in hand, and gently dabs hamburger goo off of JARED’S CHIN. Now, SHE’S the messy eater and getting all defensive with Dirk about it.
Note from Meg’s husband: pathetic, isn’t she? It was even worse when she talked about Dick Tracy all the time. I fear the inevitable intrusion of Dagwood into our family life (wipes tears from his eyes with Chin Napkin’s small, luncheon-sized cousin, Chin Wipe).
Goodness, a special appearance by Mr. meg! This is a red-letter day.
Good heavens, Dawn's vision must be terrible if she can't see what's right in front of her. Is Wilbur aware of this? (Never mind, Wilbur's only aware of Wilbur.) I'm surprised that Dirt didn't say "You're blind as a bat! I'll call you Bat Girl!"
If D & D were at the Bum Boat instead of Greasy Spoon City, Mary could have come to their table and decked Dirt while Jeff held her sweater.
Okay, let's guess. Does Dawn's expression imply that she's finally figured out what a creep Dirk is or is she simply wondering how she's going to find the Ladies Room without her glasses? Yeah, I thought so.
Are we still going with “jerk”? Or can we up the diagnosis? Sociopath or Psychopath?
I vote for controlling abuser. Now we will see just how dumb Dawn is. What is this, their third date?
"If you hadn't worn glasses, I wouldn't have called you that! So, it's your fault!"
Dawn wearing glasses made her look so different that it discombobulated him? This guy has all kinds of problems. Dawn should be running for the hills.
Suddenly, a process server jumps out from behind the booth. “In the name of the State of California, and of my client, the Honourable Mrs. Mary Worth, I hereby demand that you cease and desist from using the .term ‘let me tell you a story’ which is reserved exclusively for the use of Mrs. Worth!”
Dirk: “Thanks a lot, Law Boy.”
"So you see, Dawn, I'M the real victim here. You owe me an apology."
"Oh, Dirk, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me!"
"No." -- Scottie
Oh, my....he has a story. What could it be? He was abused as a child by someone who wore glasses? He used to wear glasses but he was bullied, so he had Lasix surgery? He was told as a child that nothing was ever his fault and that he could do no wrong? He hooked up on Tinder and his date looked nothing like her picture? Oh, the horror!
Way to start the week... A teaser that a story is forthcoming. I fear the story will be drawn out, with Dawn pausing to gulp back tears by Wednesday. NO story explains this cretin's behavior, and the fact that he thinks a story will somehow absolve him for behaving like a cretin makes me wish Mary would show up wearing a superhero cape and deploy Dirk to Southern California to help with firefighting.
Friends, I can't get past Dirk's parents being "successful pharmacists." Does that mean no persons for whom the Tandys filled prescriptions died? Did they earn millions of dollars compared to the pittance earned by unsuccessful pharmacists?
"My parents called me 'Nerdboy'!!! SOB!!! Can you imagine the pain I went through?" -- Scottie
Good point, KitKat - that's too funny. Okay, so poor Dirk was a privileged kid whose parents divorced. Wow, that's a unique situation, Dirk. I'm sure no other kid had to experience such trauma. Dawn, this might be a good time to jump in with the fact that your parents divorced when you were a kid, and that your mother is a rich, you-know-what, who never wanted anything to do with you. Sorry, Dirk, you're going to have to dial this pitiful story up a few notches. Oh, and as for the "You'll do as I say" business? I suppose you'll blame that on your parents too. News flash, Dirk, that's what parents always say. Often with the caveat, "Because I said so."
Dirt continues: I never felt like I fit in. Always felt like my parents didn't care about me. So now I am mean and call people names so they will feel as bad as I do. Let's lay money on whether Dawn cries on Wednesday, as @Louise has suggested.
Dirk=Piece of Work
Well, no tears today. Just a wistful sigh. Ah, poor me. So now what happens? Mutual comfort? I didn't hear an apology or an explanation from Dirt. We just gonna let his boorish behavior go?
Until Dawn moved to Santa Royale to be with Wilbur, who apparently is so worthy of scorn even those who might have bullied Dawn took pity on her. Where IS this story going? Two sad sacks....
If the Charterstone Jukebox was still operational, we could request "Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places" for Dawn.
Thus, Dirt and Dawn bond over being from broken homes, neglected by their battling parents, and bullied by their peers. What better way to begin a healthy relationship?
Dirk: My parents fought a lot, and I couldn't handle it.
Dawn: I see your fighting parents, and raise you a hateful mother. Dirk: I see your hateful mother, and raise you a cold father.
Dawn: I see your cold father, and raise you a father that spent a month at a resort while I thought he was dead.
Dirk: You win, nerdgirl.
And you win, Thunderheels, the Comment of the Day Award. Nice job!
"Oh, Dirk, I feel so bad for you. Please feel free to abuse me all you want."
"Thanks, Walk-Over Girl. Let's celebrate with some bacon." -- Scottie
This makes no sense at all. We are deep in the Moyzone now.
Dirk: ‘‘And I was never allowed to have a cool Hallowe’en costume. I was always forced to wear a pharmacist’s white coat while the other kids had cool costumes like Spider-Man or a pirate. Although when I was 12 my dad got me a Patriots number 12 jersey. My mom said I looked just like Tom Brady, only with pimples.”
Dawn: “Omigosh, what time is it? I don’t wanna be late for my vegan awards banquet- and I have burgers on my breath! Bye- see you sometime.”
Thunderheels and meg, those were hilarious comments - huzzah!
Tomorrow: Dirk and Dawn wander aimlessly at Santa Royale Super Duper Mall:
Dawn: "I'm back to my contacts - hallelujah!"
Dirk: "I guess I can't call you 'Nerdgirl' anymore. I'll call you 'Rag Doll' because your hair always looks like you cut it with pinking shears!"
This nonsensical interlude brought to you by Lasix and NuVu.
If Dawn is so severely visually impaired and prone to eye irritation, perhaps she should consult an ophthalmologist. But that’s harder to spell. And Dirk will think up another demeaning nickname, anyway.
It looks like Mary won't be needed to advise Dawn, thank heaven. We don't have to hear her tell Dawn to just wait until she can again wear her contact lenses, and then she'll be eligible to marry Dirk! Now let's move on.
KitKat's comment two for the day: Mr. KitKat and I were discussing Dirk's parents being "successful pharmacists." Mr. K. remarked that they might have been selling drugs on the street, which would've been both lucrative and a source of tax-free income.
Oh, Mr. K! What a wise and witty interpretation of the “successful pharmacists!” But, sadly, I must warn you: that would be interesting, and interesting is not part of the Mary Worth mission statement. Tsk!
The Comics Curmudgeon had such a great comment today that I want to share it with all of you.
“Wilbur walking back from the airport, wearing a sombrero, arms loaded with luggage, clumsily bumps into Dirk knocking him in front of a city bus is probably the only solution to this story line that doesn’t require real insight.” –Hibbleton
Oh, I just had a horrible thought! (As opposed to the benign, warm-hearted ones I usually have.). What if Dirk is an addict? That might explain his red-faced angry attempted domination of Dawn.
I doubt we'll see "Dirk Goes to a Twelve Step Program" in the Moyzone, meg. BTW, I wonder if Dawn knows that Mary has taken over "Ask Wendy" for her father. Dawn may not even know that Wilbur writes it.
Doesn't Dawn have Jared saved as a contact in her phone, or is Jared (who still resembles Harpo Marx) one of those people who always says "It's [name]!" He doesn't know how to hold a mobile phone, either. Say, wouldn't it be a coincidence if Dirk Dirt is Jess's abusive ex?
The pink people have infiltrated Northview Hospital's cafe.
Jared also strangely resembles Mark Zuckerberg! I think that Jess was mugged and robbed, rather than having been brutalized by an ex. But…maybe Dirk was the brutal mugger (who then used Jess’s cash to buy drugs). Hope the miserable foursome go rock climbing at Piccadee Falls!
And I wonder if Dirk’s drug of choice might be steroids?
Oh...@KitKat, it would be great if Dirt had been Jess' assailant; so of course, it won't happen. Also, either Dirt doesn't climb rocks, or he will go and be insufferable, rude, pushy and arrogant.
Maybe Jared will have to rescue Dirk! “Take my hand!…Oopsies.”
So, the latter; arrogant, pushy, rude...and Jared doesn't want to appear jealous. Sure, everyone wants a boyfriend who is demeaning and demanding. But I don't think we can expect Dawn to figure this out, so it will have to be Jared and Jess to the rescue.
Insufferable, rude, pushy and arrogant - you called it, MissScarlet. And he's still calling her "Nerdgirl."
And for today’s red flag, gaslighting!
Big surprise! Dirt's also a liar. Will Jared call him on it? That would be exciting, so probably not.
When Dirk calls Dawn "Babe," is her referring to as a pig?
Earth to Jess: Jared still has a thing for Dawn.
Yeah, Jared, Dawn seems happy, so don’t say anything to her about your misgivings. She wouldn’t listen, anyway. You can wait until she’s wheeled in to your ER.
That's it? I've been up all night waiting for the intense climbing match between Jared and Dirk. I want my money back.
Next up: Dirt allows no vegan food on the table. Meat sodas all around!
Jess is a real talker, isn't she?
Dawn's vegan except when she's with Dirk Dirt - sheesh. Does he only pick up the check when beef was eaten?
Dirk: "So, Jared, tell me how you did it."
Jared: "Did what?"
Dirk: "You know. Trained your girlfriend to keep her mouth shut and just sit there with that vacuous look on her face."
Dirt goes on to prove he's every bit as obnoxious as we think he is. Meanwhile, Dawn and Jared continue to vie for the title of 'most self effacing'. Clearly, Jess wins that one, hands down.
hmmm, your comment above is priceless!
Wow, Dawn's a messy eater even when she wears her contacts.
Okay, Moy, we get it already. Let's move this along to its no doubt unexciting conclusion. -- Scottie
It looks to me as if Dawn has somehow managed to stick the tines of her fork into the side of her cheek. But if that is food, I'd be hard-pressed not to gag if I were sitting at that table. How it is possible that anyone over the age of 6 isn't aware that they've slobbered food on their face?
And... thanks, KitKat!
I am probably wrong, but wasn't part of the storyline a long time ago (in real time, not Worthyverse time) that Jerod took Karate classes? I hope I am right, it would be interesting to see a throw down between Dirk and Jerod.
I am not sure what I am thinking. Interesting action in MW?
She's eating a steak platter, for heaven's sake! It's not terribly messy. It's not a chili dog or a sloppy joe. But aside from Dawn's similarity to her dad, Dirt has reliable acted like a jerk again. And Jess sits as silent as a statue. Maybe Moy didn't show us the part where her assailant made her mute?
Jess speaks! "I enjoyed rock climbing today! And I love lettuce!"
Meanwhile, Dirt is about to fling a piece of steak into Jared's face.
Finally. Jess has established herself as the Dorothy Parker of Santa Royale.
@hmmm Good one! Those are the biggest Adam's apples I've ever seen. Jared's looks like he could stab someone with his throat.
When Mary finally does step in, it’s gonna take a boatload of muffins and platitudes.
Dirk is s Di@k
"Would you folks like some desert?"
"Yeah, we'll have the Golden Age Victory Steak Pie, and these two total disasters will have the loser's crow, with a side of . . . uh, failed loser." -- Scottie
No, he’s not; that’s just his Adam’s apple.
While the other three enjoy their desert, Dirk whips out his phone, activates its camera, and lovingly smiles into it.
"So much winning," he whispers. "Strongly winning. Winning like no one's ever seen before."
-- Scottie
All of us are still waiting for all that winning, Scottie.
"Hey, who doesn't love to win? We all had fun, so we're all winners! Let's buy trophies for us!"
Oh, dear Moyzone; please let Jared karate kick the he!! our of Dirk's butt. Please give us a little Sunday treat.
Jared thinks: I know! I’ll go and ask Mary Worth what I should do. She won’t steer me wrong.
Got lost here... What exactly did Dirk and Co. win? I don't see any trophies or big checks being bandied about, so how can we corral this pathetic schmuck who must have lost at sandbox in preschool in order to act like this at the age of 40...
What, no Sunday fisticuffs? Such a letdown - Jared's thought balloons don't do anything. Dirty Dirk is so busy scolding Dawn that he didn't even pick up on the Han-Leia mention, which was his cue to call Jared "Nerdboy."
Dawn and Dirk have been together a few weeks and she's proposing a couples photo shoot, with a guy who's been raising multiple red flags? Egad. (Anyone else find Dawn scratching DD's neck creepy? Ugh.)
I could be wrong, but it looks like Karen is trying to tell us that Dirk is not a very nice fellow. We should know for sure sometime next month. -- Scottie
Perhaps Dawn sees Dirk as a curmudgeonly pet who needs scratching behind the ears. This is the only sight I see of him that MIGHT be redeemable...
Why is Dawn looking at us while she scratches Dirt's neck? Is she looking for our approval to strangle him? You got it girl! Go for it!
Dirty Dirk is drinking the wrong brand of beer. He should be drinking Beer Boor.
Besides being a messy eater, Dawn doesn't know how to gasp properly.
Don't worry folks. I speak fluent Grawlix. He just called her a slob. Which she is.
Alarm Alarm Alarm! He's got his hand gripping her wrist! Where's Mary Worth when she's really needed?
We're a few days away from Mary knocking at the Weston door, carrying a basket of muffins. "Hello, Dawn dear, I just baked seven dozen muffins. Would you like some? You seem a teensy-weensy bit down in the dumps."
Boy, Dawn has no self esteem whatsoever. If Wanders was still here, I'd request "Make the Man Love Me" (from "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" for the Charterstone Jukebox.
1. Maybe it's not you who needs to measure up.
2. Looks like he hasn't ever loved you.
3. Threats and bullying are not love.
4. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Mary Worth meets Dawn Unworthy. -- Scottie
What’s it going to take, Dawn? He is going to hit you. That’s guaranteed. Will once be enough for you? Damn, I hate this storyline.
She didn't knock on the Weston door, but Mary unleashed a muffin ambush nonetheless. Chocolate muffins with Splak morsels....
It'll be telling to see what Dawn tells Mary. Is she going to mention Dirty Dirk's controlling, criticism, and belittling? Will she tell Mary that he cursed her and grabbed her wrist in a threatening manner? Or will KM drop the ball and just present a typical platitude barrage by Mary?
Still checking in because I'll never stop hoping that you're going to come back someday.
Mary: "Well, okay, you can stop by for some chocolate muffins, and for Heaven's sake, wipe that revolting white gunk off your face, you $%&*!"
Here she is to save the day! Mighty Mary is on her way! @KitKat: oh yes, I think we can count on platitudes. The Moyzone wont let us down.
Still wondering why I can't see KitKat's comments although apparently the rest of you can... Any ideas, anyone? Thanks, if so. And, Miss Scarlet, thank you for the DV guidance. I also really dislike this plot. Dawn is a ditz, mostly messed up by a childhood populated by thoughtless parents, who may not have taught her to wipe her mouth when eating, but she doesn't deserve the treatment Dirk head is dishing out. Hoping Mary has just completed a training at Hospital to assist with advising those in situations like Dawn's, which, unfortunately, are all too common. Sigh...
I'm mystified that LouiseF is unable to see my comments. Is KM selectively blocking me?
No matter what variety of muffins Mary bakes, they always look the same - underbaked and unappetizing. These sure don't look like chocolate. Note that Mary gave Dawn a tiny plate; as hmmm noted, Mary knows that Dawn is a messy eater.
@ Louise; I love 'dirk head'!
Oh, so that was what that weird conversation was about; he opened up to her about his childhood. Bah! Humbug! Meanwhile, Dawn looks like she's stoned.
MissScarlet, in commenting on the way Dawn looked yesterday, you may have identified Mary's secret muffin ingredient.
"Dirk isn't as romantic or kind as he used to be." They've been dating for A MONTH, for Pete's sake. It's hard to sympathize with someone who's as dense as Dawn. Even Mary seems to be losing patience with her.
Does Dawn even hear her own self? "He's...mean". If she can't hear herself say those words, I doubt she will hear Mary telling her the truth: It's not a healthy relationship. By the way Dawn, being determined to make the relationship 'work' may just land you in the hospital.
He really is a great guy -- you know, when he's not mean, demanding, and controlling. Yikes, this is Moyzone Preferred Premier Platinum Plus stuff. -- Scottie
I suppose we should be glad we didn't see any of Dawn's previous main squeeze, Billy, who she dated for a whole three weeks.
"Passionate" is #2 on my list of overused/misused words, just behind "literally."
Too bad Mary doesn't add truth serum to her muffins... Plus I love Dawn's comment that Dirk "isn't as romantic or kind as he used to be", as if they had been together for years. And thanks, Mary, for that "two way street" comment. I'm not sure Dawn drives, so she may not be able to translate Mary's words out of metaphor status.
Dawn demonstrates the epitome of low self confidence: she hasn't been successful with guys so she will sublimate her own needs and desires to prove that she can make it with Dirk-head, even if it kills her.
Anonymous: I thought that we had seen Dawn drive before, but now that you mention it, I'm not sure. Seems like she was meeting Jared some place, and he was driving his taped together jalopy.
“Paging Dr. Jeff! Mary Worth has just acknowledged that a relationship is a two way street! RSVP to MW ASAP! (And let us know what she says!)
Dawn: "Yeah, but I haven't got to the good part yet, and told you what it's like to have this gorgeous hunk of a man grab me and throw me across..."
Mary: (stuffing a chocolate chip into each ear) "lalalalalala... You know what Dawn, your boyfriend's right; you are a slob. Just look at the muffin crumbs you've spit out all over my sofa. Beat it."
p.s. to MissScarlet and Anon. I remember seeing Dawn drive a couple of times; in her little mini Cooper.
Gotta admit: Mary's giving solid advice for once. Of course, she doesn't follow the 'two way street' part. But she always sticks up for herself. Anyone wanna bet if Dawn takes her advice before Dirk-head does some serious damage?
hmmm. Thanks for the Mini memory. It all comes back to me now.
Looks like Mary has her work cut out for her now...
"But Mary, I love him. And I know that deep down he loves me too. Really deep down. Way way down there. Somewhere." [Mary facepalms] -- Scottie
Gee, I expected several more muffin-filled days in Mary's living room, not the Weston apartment with Dawn on Dirt-head's (an apt name, Worthiverse friends!) lap. Bowling for blood with Jared and Jess - what fun! Dirt-head's already half in the bag, which will add to the hilarity. Just picture him throwing a bowling ball at Jared.
Babe...you're so great....babe.... I think Dawn has to say that not only to placate Dirk-head, but also to convince herself.
Apologies for 'showing up' as anonymous so often lately. The site no longer automatically remembers my name and I have to re-enter it every day.
Dirk-head may be on steroids. He's also using a purple bowling ball; did he "borrow" if from Mary?
Well, the good news, GutterGirl, is that Dirk won't be calling you NerdGirl any longer.
Wow! Dirk-head, what did those bowling pins ever do to you?
To make bowling even more fun, Dawn and Jared wore their best vintage clothing. Jared's rocking his Ozzie Nelson vibe.
None of us are surprised that Dawn rolled a gutter ball. How many days until Jared says, "Now see here, my good man, I don't approve of the way you speak to Dawn," and Dirk-head heaves his bowling ball at Jared?
KitKat is right, of course. We all knew that Dawn would bowl a gutter ball. But I think we have to give her credit for that zig-zag roll down the alley. I can't imagine how she did that!
Dawn is going to have to start wearing bangs to cover up the divot that ten-pin is going to leave in her forehead.
I think Seinfeld’s Kramer must have sold Jared that shirt- possibly after Kramer bought it from Ozzie (Nelson, not Osbourne), KitKat.
Dawn, Dirk is not good at everything. He's a rage-aholic and is terrible at relating to people. Maybe all that red meat he consumes adds to his problems.
This might be a good time for Jared to step in. And, of course, for Dawn to leave. Quickly.
I must say that Dirk is finally showing some progress in his relationship with Dawn. Dawn, knowing how badly Dirk treated her on the last double-date with Jared and Jess, knowing how vitally important it is to him to win everything, every time, and knowing that she's a lousy bowler, she STILL thought it would be fun for the four of them to go bowling. So, Dirk has finally stopped lying and told Dawn the truth. She IS an idiot. I'm proud of you, Dirk.
@hmmm, that's an angle I hadn't thought of, har har!
Tomorrow: Dirk: "No, you stop it!" Jared: "No, YOU stop it!" Dirk: "NO, you STOP it!!" Jared: "I said it first!!"
I wonder if Jess will leave with Dirk....
Dirk will take a swing at Jared for interviewing. Black belt Jared will then beat the living (insert family unfriendly word of choice here) out of him.
@KitKat, much as I would love to see Jared kick Dirt's butt, I think we will see that Dirt-head is a typical bully, and he will back down when confronted head on. I wonder, with all the yelling, why there aren't other people taking notice. Isn't it kind of weird that Dirt's outbursts are typically in public?
MissScarlet, today there's a woman one lane over who appears mildly aware, but that's been it. Jess has been blase, even as she witnessed multiple instances of Dirk's awful behavior. Maybe the citizens of Santa Royale don't want to get involved, don't pay attention, or don't care.
Ah, yes, KitKat; I see miss Lavender Lily. She does look concerned, but maybe not enough to do anything (until the brawl starts?). Meanwhile, the only thought I have on Jess is that maybe she's shell shocked and suffering PTSD symptoms because of her memories of her own past. That would be interesting to explore. Especially if she shared them with Dawn...so, it won't happen.
Dirk: Enough whut, Nerd boy? Jared: If you’re going to browbeat Dawn, please get it over with before my parents arrive with their nude yoga and bowling group.
Jess and Dawn: Ewwwww! Let’s get out of here!
Meg: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
And once again, KM drops her 16-pound ball of disappointing schlock onto our hopes of an amusing physical fight between Dirk and Jared. Ouch.
That wasn’t on my bingo card! Dawn, I’m proud of you!
I’m relishing the notion that Dawn picked up the bowling ball with intent to deliberately drop it on his foot! It wasn’t her turn to bowl and her ball was guacamole green. The ball dropped on Dirk’s foot was his own ball, the plum purple one. Now his foot will match his (bowling) ball. Respect!
Overlooking Dawn's passive-aggressive action, I'm glad to see that the other bowlers are finally paying attention. Now, if Dawn will just hold up her head and tell Dirk-head where he can go. @Meg: even better if she and Jess ride off together into the sunset.
MissScarlet, Dawn and Jess could be the Thelma and Louise of Santa Royale. Meanwhile, Aeschylus is rolling over in his grave at KM's wacky use of his words. Tomorrow: Dirk's carotid artery bursts - "GASP!!!!"
Anonymous said...
As far as I can tell, Dawn met Dirk on or about Dec. 21st. He began being mean to her on their big Christmas date. The meanness continued for a month.
On Jan. 23 at 9:47 AM, I pleaded on this very fine forum, " Okay, Moy, we get it already. Let's move this along to its no doubt unexciting conclusion."
An now today, I believe we have finally finally seen the very first teeny tiny suggestion of an advancement in this idiotic storyline in six weeks. Hallelujah!. Maybe Dark Dirk will be out of the picture by Labor Day. -- Scottie
Gasp! Dawn has obviously recalled Mary’s story of how she discouraged the eager and obnoxious Ted Miller. “I remember it just like it was yesterday. He was making a hot, hard, and heavy pass at me- you youngsters would say he was ‘coming on to me’. I picked up the first hard, round and heavy thing I could grab, and it was a tray full of my special muffins- he fell to the floor and never realized what hit him.”
"OMG, he called her THAT?! The other stuff wasn't so bad, but he crossed a line when he called her THAT! Somebody call the security guy,"
@meg, recalling the Ted Miller muffin escapade is the perfect Monday hoot. Thank you!
Gotta admit, I kinda like this. It's like Dirk-head is so stupid that he forgot he was in a public place. Dawn looks positively bold - even a little ticked off (not a lot, unfortunately). I would imagine that the collective "GASP" will be enough to clue Dawn into realizing how awful the love of her life really is. Certainly she would never be able to figure this out on her own. She's a 30-something college student with a still undeclared major!
Well, well, well, Dawn finally found her inner muffin and inner bowling ball, but the gasping crowd sure dissipated quickly. How many days until Dawn bumps into Mary and thanks her profusely for saving her from Dirty Dirk? Speaking of DD, it would be funnier to see him jumping off on one foot instead of stalking off.
“Santa Royale Woman Indicted in Unprovoked Bowling Ball Attack”
Well, that was fast. Guess Dawn just needs to drop some bowling balls in order to find her spine. Typical Moyzone conclusion. Perfectly unbelievable.
Now we know why KM had the brilliant idea to call him "Dirk." KM, we here at MW & Me were calling him "Dirk the Jerk" weeks ago.
Looks like Mr. Gorgeous is storming out a side exit, too embarrassed to leave through the front, under the BOWL sign.
@meg, that would've been hilarious!
Not only is Dawn all better now (thought certainly, this will happen again and again, thanks to Dawn's poor memory and inability to learn life lessons); but Jess has identified Dirk as a jerk. Progress! Good on you Jess!
I was just trying to remember what Dirk does for work. He works part time at Belltown Automall. Not a car salesman…I’ll bet he washes the cars…or drives to the auto supply store to pick up parts. Says he’s going to “use his public relations skills in the corporate arena”. His relations in public places have shown little skill. I doubt the Dirk story has finished….”
@meg -- At work, Dirk the Jerk is a clerk. -- Scottie with a Smirk
No, get that woman a muffin!
Dirk's rages are more than a quirk.
Quick, Jared! Get her into the Tapemobile and get her to Mary Worth, stat!
@Meg: thanks for the memories. Dirk the jerk appears to also be a liar. I'm surprise Jared is so clueless. But, of course, Jess knows what to do. Maybe Dawn and Jess will end up together after all. Will Jared be happy for them?
I have whiplash going from BOWL to Mary and Jeff on the boardwalk so fast -- oww! Mary, I suggest you reconsider the blue hair. You look haggard as H-E-double hockey sticks with it.
Happy Valentine's Day, Worthiverse friends! I love spending time with you.
You know what would have been a fun Valentine's Day comic? Jared and Jess on a romantic date with Dawn sitting between them. Crying.
Happy V Day Worthiverse friends!
Ol' Jeff just keeps coming back for . . . well, we can't say "for more," so let's just say he keeps coming back. By now, the man's patience and persistence in reaching for the unreachable star appears to have progressed to an obsession that would make Don Quixote roll his eyes. -- Scottie
Great stuff, everyone! Mary's frighteningly blue hair takes me back to old lady hair of the 1960s. I also notice that even in the stiff wind that is blowing her ugly scarf about, her hair retains that Aquanet hold... She needs to update her hairdresser. As for Dawn and Dirkhead, I foresee a lawsuit by Dirk to cover the cost of his fractured foot surgery since I doubt his Automall job provides health insurance...
I foresee that Wilbur will sent Dawn money to buy a new car. Mary volunteers to help her shop, and takes her to the Oldsmobuick dealer where Mary buys all her cars. Of course it’s located at the Belltown Automall, where Dirk works part time. I’m not sure what happens next, but it may involve a golf cart chasing Mary and Dawn around the lot (with the Benny Hill theme song blasting from the loudspeakers. No, I’m wrong, that can’t happen because it would be…….interesting.
LouiseF: I hope you can see this! If there's a candle on the table the next time Mary and Jeff hit the Bum Boat, Mary's Aquanetted hair might ignite if she gets too close to the flame. That would be almost as interesting as meg's golf cart scenario, meaning neither will happen.
Ahh, another evening with Mary and Jeff on the deserted, very short boardwalk to nowhere. No, Jeff, YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS WITH ALLSTATE!
@Meg: Yes! Yakkety Sax!
MissScarlet and meg, whenever I hear "Yakety Sax" (okay, that's not too often these days) or even think about it, Benny Hill immediately comes to mind. Boots Randolph is smiling somewhere.
Today, it's back to BOWL, and our bubbly trio. Is this the conclusion of the latest episode of Dawn Looks for Love in All the Wrong Places, Including Bowling Centers, or will Dawn run into Mary tomorrow and trigger a week-long Mary Victory Lap?
Put on your walking shoes -- Mary Victory Lap coming right up! (I'd worry that my mind is starting to work like KM's, but all of us would have predicted this.)
I was hoping just a little that we would bypass the Mary congratulatory visit. Silly me! Looks like we are in for some white glop, splak and Mary-I-told-you-so
conversation.
Dawn gets it wrong. Mary did not say "It takes two to tango". She said "relationships are a two way street". Get your cliches straight, Dawn!
Dawn's skating on thin ice by pooh-poohing the ability of advice to make her feel better. Along with that home-cooked meal, Mary's Advice Machine is going to be working full blast. Prepare to duck, Dawn.
"Excuse me, what was that that just came out of your mouth? Did I hear you say my advice cannot help you? Because I thought I heard you say that my advice cannot help you."
"Uh, hommina hommina hommina . . ."
-- Scottie
You know, when you think about it, there isn't much Mary can say that could cheer Dawn up.
'You didn't take my advice before, did you?'
'Yes, you are gullible, needy, and a tad stupid'.
'I know I promised your dad I would look after you, but you are kind of hopeless'.
I'm hoping that Mary has forgotten about Dawn's weak attempt at going vegan and serves her a bunk slab of disgusting, bloody, roasted lamb. How anyone can eat a baby animal is beyond me.
@hmmm, same thing re veal.
@Scottie, your comment made me guffaw aloud!
Yes, hmmm! Except Mary may serve her new favorite seaweed sludge casserole to Dawn, and they can talk about how Dirk's rage is fueled by his meat eating.
So Dawn is heartbroken over her break up with Dirk. Which were the good parts of their brief relationship? Him mocking her and calling her names? His disregarding her wishes and ordering all-meat meals repeatedly? His screaming at her at the rock-climbing gym? His raging meltdown at the bowling alley when he criticized her bowling and screamed that she was a failure at everything? Wow, such wonderful memories! Perhaps she's clinging to times he called her "babe" and picked up the check for the steak platters she didn't want but meekly ate. Grrrrr....
@KitKat: I'm assuming that the good parts Dawn remembers can't be shown in a family comic strip (thank heavens). Meanwhile, Dawn says the break up was "for the best". Maybe there is hope for her after all. That's a nice pic Mary has on the wall, edelweiss and an alp?
I just noticed that Mary serves cheese in a glass. I guess that's not the weirdest thing I've seen in this strip.
Can't wait for Mary's advice on how Dawn can desensitize herself to being triggered by bowling. Bowling is NOT a two way street...
Cheese in a glass? Best accompaniment to sandwich you eat with a tiny fork! At least in my family….
What happened to the nice picture hanging on the wall? Did Toby repossess it because Mary stopped paying for it?
I don't know, @KitKat, didn't that painting seem kind of beyond the artistic abilities of Toby?
I wonder how Mary can talk about 'human nature'. What would she know about that?
"Dawn dear, aren't these beautifully arranged roses in front of your face beautifully arranged? Of course they are. But for the rest of the evening, whenever you say something, could you please look and speak directly into them? It would make them feel so good. Thanks." -- Scottie
Today's panel three:
Dawn: By the way, Mary, I did drop a bowling ball on Dirk's foot when he got a teensy-weensy bit nasty with me."
Mary: "That was perfectly fine, dear. I once dropped a waffle iron on Jeff's foot when he was being a bit frisky with me. He learned his lesson and has never tried anything like that again."
So that’s why Dr. Jeff has that convenient Citizen Cane excuse why he doesn’t want to go somewhere! “Sorry, dear, I can’t go on a cruise with you and Toby… or to the competitive cake decorating, or to the great kidnapped dog hunt…”
I wonder what kind of sandwiches one eats with a tiny fork.
Wouldn't it be nice if Mary suggested that Dirk-head wasn't good enough for Dawn? What an idea!
"Dawn, please don't beat yourself up. This is not the first time you've failed at a relationship. And it sure as hell won't be the last. But that's okay, dear. I've got a whole silo full of muffin flour dedicated solely to the Westons to get us through this. I'm not going anywhere. And, of course, neither are you." -- Scottie
"When I first met him, I didn't see that behavior from him at all! Then we had our first date...."
I'm nominating Mary for the No-bell "Duh!" Prize for today's remark that "It takes time to get to know someone, dear."
I have a suggestion, Dawn. No falling in love until the fifth date.
Maybe Dawn should participate in 'Love Is Blind". She could get to know a person before seeing his face and abs.
Dawn's Dirk-shaming is making Mary Sunshine uncomfortable. She always tries to see the good in everyone, and now this is dredging up repressed memories of Ted the Character. She's thinking it might be time to break out those special rum and thorazine muffins. -- Scottie
Scottie: Is there somewhere you can actually buy those muffins, or are they just a Mary thing? (asking for a friend)
Rum and thorazine muffins - hahahahaha! Scottie, you have a wicked sense of humor.
I think it's odd that Mary didn't boast about her efforts to whip up a vegan dinner, nor did June draw it. With someone as credulous as Dawn, Mary could've served anythng and just pretended it was all vegan. BTW, Mary, nondairy "ice cream" is not necessarily vegan; it could still contain eggs, gelatin, or other animal products. Fess up, Mary, you're scamming Dawn. Tsk tsk!
Mary's therapeutic vegan meal has worked wonders! As Mary always knew it would. Plus, as long as she can ply Dawn with "coffee" she can get her to continue down the road of self revelation. Oh, if only we had a Mary in all of our lives - or rum and thorazine muffins.
Dawn might regret her coconut milk and cashew desert however, even if she is better without Dirk-head.
Looks like we're stuck with another week of Mary and Dawn rehashing the same things ad nauseam. Talk about plain vanilla -- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz etc.
Moy is evidently unfamiliar with the concept of beating a dead horse. -- Scottie
It's even more painful for us Dawn. Even though we learned a long time ago that Moy draws out every story line until we all groan in pain.
Is "strong young woman" Dawn on an extended winter break from the U. of Santa Royale Community College? She hasn't been to class since before Christmas, and it's almost March.
As boring as this snooze week is, I'm anxious that next week might launch a new "Dogs are Good!" plot with Eve, Saul, and their bizarre animals. Waiting on KM is excruciating.
"By gum and by golly, I'm gonna get out there and find me a man who deserves me!" Sheesh. This dreck has to end Sunday, right? I mean, that's what I thought last Sunday, but it's over this Sunday for sure, right? Right?
@KitKat -- I'm up for a Zak and Iris story. I find them to be the two least annoying characters in this strip. I hope their marriage is drama-free and that Zak isn't regretting his choice of an older woman or anything. But if that were true, I guess there would be no point in doing a story about them. I mean, it would be nice if Moy would do an uplifting story once in a while. But even if she did, she'd probably dreck that all up too. Sigh. -- Scottie
Hmmm....what sort of person would that be? Lazy? Shallow? Uninteresting? Vegan (sometimes)? Bad at bowling? Dumb? I can hardly wait to see who turns up.
Scottie, as I read your comment, I pictured Dawn as Annie Oakley in "Annie Get Your Gun," trying to sing "You Cain't Get a Man with a Gun." Heavens to Betsy!
Chester the Dog, this is only (!) Thursday, so KM can't be teeing up a new story for tomorrow and the weekend. I figure we'll see Mary taking a personal victory lap in her brain, reviewing how much she helped Dawn and smiling triumphantly through Sunday. (There's an outside chance she'll encounter Toby and babble about Dawn to her.)
Oooh! A hug! That's more than Jeff ever gets.
For a minute there I thought Mary was drinking tea and typing at the same time. A third hand? Or a floating teacup?
And now we . . .
. . . turn the page. -- Scottie
I really think JB's got an extra (manicured) finger or two in there for Mary...
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