If I had a dime for every comic strip that showed a piano falling from a third floor window, I'd be... Well, I'm not quite sure what I'd be doing but it wouldn't be sitting around reading Mary Worth every day.
For a moment yesterday, I thought Moy was going to the dark side and we were going to see a crushed Van Dyke. But no....more accidental heroism for Wilbur. The joke (in Mary Worth? Ha!) is that Wilbur could be a hero to anyone, person, animal or thing.
Glad Mr. Van Dyke is okay and remains surly, but how did that crashed car ended up on the sidewalk which appears to be blocked by a line of undisturbed trees and parked cars.
Wilbur’s next outing is to blow off steam at Santa Royale Fun Park. He loves to drive those bodacious bumper cars. Unfortunately it’s Nuns, Orphans, and Veterans’ Day at the Park. Horror and near-tragedy ensues.
Finally, Wilbur finds his perfect match! Unfortunately, in a tragic auto accident, Megan was killed yesterday while attempting to avoid hitting an old man in the street. Although bumping over a trash can slowed her vehicle somewhat, it was not enough to avoid the fatal outcome of smashing into the side of a concrete wall.
I'm Meagan . . . I work in advertising as a writer . . . which is where I learned to use ellipses indiscriminately. . . I like long walks at Piccadee Falls, boxing, and travel to inland South American cities that somehow have an oceanfront beach. . . I'm looking for a fat balding loser who so fancies himself as a chick magnet that he wears Speedos in public . . . If you're interested, click on this perfectly safe link . . .
Heh. I wonder if Wilbur will tell her the "adventure story" where he had a tantrum on a cruise ship, got hammered, fell off the ship, and forgot to tell his daughter that he was alive for over a week. I'm sure this lady will be impressed by that one!
He could also tell the story of dumping his girlfriend for a hot Colombian lady and then finding out she was a scammer.
Whew! I’m glad he mentioned that the goldfish were at home. I was a bit concerned that the big ol’ brown thang on his fork was a deep-fried bit of either Stelland or Wilburina.
I find myself still wondering if Meagan is a scam artist. If she isn't, why doesn't she just pretend that her phone vibrated, answer it and high-tail it outta there.
But, it is kind of pleasant to watch, knowing that Wilbur is gonna get some of what he deserves, one way or the other.
I just had a dreadful thought. This isn't going to turn into another act of heroism, is it? Like Meagan choking on a piece of that dog food or whatever it is they're eating, and Wilbur saves her with the Heimlich maneuver? The difference now, obviously, is that he actually performed a heroic act.
True Story: When I proposed to my wife at the jewelers, I had left my wallet at home. She had to put the downpayment on her engagement ring. We've been married 26 years.
There won’t be a next time for Meagan, but there will be, unfortunately, for us, exiled as we are in the darkest corner of the Worthiverse. Thank heavens I’m not alone.
Please tell me this improbable relationship will not be saved by the old guy Wilbur inadvertently saved showing up to praise Wilburman… Don’t fall for it, Megan. And make Wilbur pay you back for lunch!
A perfect visual of the essence of Wilbur: totally clueless, totally self-absorbed. Meagan hitting on the waiter, doesn’t really change anything: Wilbur was always on date with only Wilbur.
@fauxprof; you may be on to something. I'm kind of impressed by Meagan. She's quite resourceful and is certainly making the best of the situation. Lemonade, anyone?
Now you must ask yourself, Wilbur, why did she abandon you? Until you can answer that question we are all doomed to having to read about your lonely and abandoned self. By all means, go ask Mary.
Meagan already knew the kissable waiter; she was surprised to find him there. But…he is the son of her best friend, and he’s 25 years younger than Meagan. She’s a cougar!
Mary: “…Maybe he’s busy. But just in case he’s not, I’ll go over and yack yack yack at him all afternoon. And if he is busy, I’ll tell him how to do whatever he’s doing…(Sigh…)…Life is good.”
I wonder if this is going to evolve into a story about people sinking into a depressive state and being encouraged to seek therapy and treatment. It would give Mary a prime opportunity to be the encourager (not gonna say meddler), and make us feel guilty for dunking on Wilbur.
It would have more impact as a PSA it the protagonist were Dr. Jeff, someone we already feel empathy for, and not (yechh) Wilbur.
fauxprof - I have the same feeling that we're looking at another one of KM's PSAs. I think you're probably correct in that it will be about loneliness and depression. My thought was that KM would be teaching us how to handle isolation. She's just read a news article about something called "COVID" and wants to warn us about it.
Any minute now, the heroic Dr. Ed Harding will break down Wilbur’s door, heroically rush to the fish tank, and heroically attempt to save Stellan and Willa, as he shouts, “MY GOD, MAN WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM? DID YOU OVERFEED THEM?”
I have some specialized information about reviving goldfish, and if you’re interested, send me $19.95 and a self-addressed envelope. No? Okay, I’ll tell you.
One night I went into my son’s room to turn down his bed. I happened to glance over at the fish tank. One fish was swimming lazily around. But the other fish had flopped out of the tank and was lying limply on the floor! I decided to place him back in the tank and let my husband ‘discover’ and deal with him later, a decision of a type that will be understandable to married women.
I eased Henry gently back into the tank, and he floated on the top of the water. The other fish came up to him and blew air into his gaping mouth. Suddenly, Henry shrugged, then swam rapidly in circles! And lived several more years.
I also read that Dame Judi Dench once gave her fish mouth to mouth breathing. So, Wilbur, sober up and kiss those fishies!
Will Wilbur go to the pet store to buy a new fish, and meet someone who also loves fish? Or will the other fish {Willa?} die of loneliness and leave Wilbur in deep depression? Will the heroic Dr. Harding arrive in time to revive Stellan? Will Dame Judi Dench? Will Wilbur decide on kippers for breakfast? Stay tuned for this action packed adventure.
No doubt Mary will hear that blood-curdling cry and rush down with one of her platitudes. "Oh, Wilbur. You know what they say. If life gives you goldfish, make goldie-lox."
So, fish death is going to rocket Wilbur back into connecting with living, breathing humans? Mary will have to break down the mountain of carryout boxes stacked against his front door in order to reach him, but as long as she follows the sound of him bleating "People, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world", I think we're good.
1,697 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1601 – 1697 of 1697Well! Wilbur seems to be experiencing a break from reality, and he’s just shoved Dick Van Dyke aside.
Well, if Dick Van Dyke can‘t swim, Hmmmm has a great idea for how Wilbur can save him.
If I had a dime for every comic strip that showed a piano falling from a third floor window, I'd be... Well, I'm not quite sure what I'd be doing but it wouldn't be sitting around reading Mary Worth every day.
That's it! Unbeknownst to Wilbur, he just saved Dick Van Dyke's life by pushing him out of the way of a falling piano.
He truly is a hero.
-- Scottie
hmmm and Scottie,
Great idea. What about a falling safe?
Well, Wilbur has joined the trend of attacking people on the street at random.
Thunderheels - Good one! Definitely a possibility! Hahaha... I'd forgotten all about the ones with the falling safe!
Will we get to see Wilbur arrested for assault? We can but hope.
Ooh, Mr. Van Dyke, such language! Would you kiss Mary Poppins with that mouth?
Wilbur sinks into a deeper funk after he has his lights punched out by an 85-year-old man.
-- Scottie
Nonagenarian Dick Van Dyke is about to get up and kick Wilbur's sorry butt!
Stating the obvious, Saturday’s strip is just a slight reworking of Friday’s strip.
RIP, trash can.
For a moment yesterday, I thought Moy was going to the dark side and we were going to see a crushed Van Dyke. But no....more accidental heroism for Wilbur. The joke (in Mary Worth? Ha!) is that Wilbur could be a hero to anyone, person, animal or thing.
Wouldn't it be ironic if the driver of the car swerved to miss Dick Vandyke and got a minor injury in the process?
So much for our hero Wilbur.
Glad Mr. Van Dyke is okay and remains surly, but how did that crashed car ended up on the sidewalk which appears to be blocked by a line of undisturbed trees and parked cars.
@Frank Booth. What? Something in Mary Worth doesn't look real!!
Looking back at the strip, that is one tough trash can to be able to demolish a car so thoroughly!
And Wilbur's next interview for his "I Shouldn't Be Alive" blog is with Oscar the Grouch.
Wilbur’s next outing is to blow off steam at Santa Royale Fun Park. He loves to drive those bodacious bumper cars. Unfortunately it’s Nuns, Orphans, and Veterans’ Day at the Park. Horror and near-tragedy ensues.
Somewhere, an unsuspecting Megan feels an inexplicable cold shudder run up her spine. Alarmed, she wonders, "What on earth caused that?"
-- Scottie
A perfect match. Wilbur has an aquarium. Ok, a fish tank. Amazing how Megan looks a lot like Dawn.
Finally, Wilbur finds his perfect match! Unfortunately, in a tragic auto accident, Megan was killed yesterday while attempting to avoid hitting an old man in the street. Although bumping over a trash can slowed her vehicle somewhat, it was not enough to avoid the fatal outcome of smashing into the side of a concrete wall.
Who wants to bet that "Megan" is a 60 year old, balding fat man? Oh, wait! That is the perfect match for Wilbur.
I'm Meagan . . . I work in advertising as a writer . . . which is where I learned to use ellipses indiscriminately. . . I like long walks at Piccadee Falls, boxing, and travel to inland South American cities that somehow have an oceanfront beach. . . I'm looking for a fat balding loser who so fancies himself as a chick magnet that he wears Speedos in public . . . If you're interested, click on this perfectly safe link . . .
-- Scottie
Meagan can't even force herself to make direct eye contact with Wilbur.
I wonder where Wilbur found a photograph that didn't look like him? Run Meagan! Run!
I'm curious. I wonder if it's Wilbur or Auntie June who doesn't know that a proper gentleman rises when a woman approaches their table.
hmmm
Wilbur, a proper gentleman, surely you jest!
Thunderheels... What was I thinking?
Wilbur seems to be wearing his bathrobe for his date.
"Waiter!"
"Yes ma'am?"
"Hit me again. Keep 'em coming."
-- Scottie
Not to mention that I have a lot of failed relationships to tell you all about too!
TMI, Wilbur. Next tell her that she looks like your daughter, only older and with a better haircut.
Meagan thinks: I should have listened to my friend, Estelle, when she warned me about online dating. I can't wait to tell her about this schmuck.
Heh. I wonder if Wilbur will tell her the "adventure story" where he had a tantrum on a cruise ship, got hammered, fell off the ship, and forgot to tell his daughter that he was alive for over a week. I'm sure this lady will be impressed by that one!
He could also tell the story of dumping his girlfriend for a hot Colombian lady and then finding out she was a scammer.
Whew! I’m glad he mentioned that the goldfish were at home. I was a bit concerned that the big ol’ brown thang on his fork was a deep-fried bit of either Stelland or Wilburina.
I find myself still wondering if Meagan is a scam artist. If she isn't, why doesn't she just pretend that her phone vibrated, answer it and high-tail it outta there.
But, it is kind of pleasant to watch, knowing that Wilbur is gonna get some of what he deserves, one way or the other.
I just had a dreadful thought. This isn't going to turn into another act of heroism, is it? Like Meagan choking on a piece of that dog food or whatever it is they're eating, and Wilbur saves her with the Heimlich maneuver? The difference now, obviously, is that he actually performed a heroic act.
Well to be fair, the better part of their bill is probably all the alcohol that Meagan guzzled down to get through the date.
Okay, everybody in America, all those who don't keep their credit card in their wallet, raise your hand. . . . Annnnd that would be no one.
Jeez, KM couldn't come up with a single plausible circumstance?
-- Scottie
If the point is to portray Wilbur as a comic schlub, but we all love him and laugh with him as we laugh at him…it ain’t working.
Many of us are annoyed. I’m tending toward homicidal, myself.
@fauxprof and Scottie: too right! This begs belief. Even Wilbur couldn't be this clueless.
Perhaps Dick Van Dyke snatched Wilbur’s wallet before he was pushed into the street?
True Story: When I proposed to my wife at the jewelers, I had left my wallet at home. She had to put the downpayment on her engagement ring. We've been married 26 years.
There won’t be a next time for Meagan, but there will be, unfortunately, for us, exiled as we are in the darkest corner of the Worthiverse. Thank heavens I’m not alone.
Please tell me this improbable relationship will not be saved by the old guy Wilbur inadvertently saved showing up to praise Wilburman… Don’t fall for it, Megan. And make Wilbur pay you back for lunch!
Meagan, what do you mean "if"? Remember the wise words of Maya Angelou; "When people tell you who they are, believe them". Run Meagan, run!
Is Meagan implying that if it hadn't been for the credit card thing, there would have been a next time?
Cute story, RobC - At least you know she wasn't after you for your money.
@Meg
Quick cut to Dick Van Dyke living it up and using Wibur's credit card:-)
Dick is fondly reliving the date he had with Estelle on 2/26/2019 (Mary Worth 3074).
I had a date like this recently. At least the guy paid, but when he made a date with the waitress I left.
Oh, Wilbur, she’s not IN to you. She’s ON to you. Big difference, buddy.
Cicero was too right about this. But what is going on? Is that Meagan kissing that other guy?
Maybe Wilbur will turn around, but he seems pretty laser focused on that (free) dinner roll.
Minutes later, the waiter approaches Wilbur and asks, "You like apples?"
-- Scottie
New theory. KM hates Wilbur as much as we do, and takes a certain malicious pleasure in humiliating him.
A perfect visual of the essence of Wilbur: totally clueless, totally self-absorbed. Meagan hitting on the waiter, doesn’t really change anything: Wilbur was always on date with only Wilbur.
@fauxprof; you may be on to something. I'm kind of impressed by Meagan. She's quite resourceful and is certainly making the best of the situation. Lemonade, anyone?
Now you must ask yourself, Wilbur, why did she abandon you? Until you can answer that question we are all doomed to having to read about your lonely and abandoned self. By all means, go ask Mary.
Meagan already knew the kissable waiter; she was surprised to find him there. But…he is the son of her best friend, and he’s 25 years younger than Meagan. She’s a cougar!
Ha haaaa, Wilbur's tired of people. Hey, Willie, the feeling's mutual.
-- Scottie
And people are tired of you, Wilbur. Go with the synergy.
Mary: “…Maybe he’s busy. But just in case he’s not, I’ll go over and yack yack yack at him all afternoon. And if he is busy, I’ll tell him how to do whatever he’s doing…(Sigh…)…Life is good.”
Is that a remote in Wilbur's hand or Meagan's credit card that he swiped?
I think we must be getting to the part where Dawn and her mother fly in to check on Wilbur, and rescue him if need be.
Make the world go away
And get it off my shoulders
Say the things you used to say
And make the world go away
I wonder if this is going to evolve into a story about people sinking into a depressive state and being encouraged to seek therapy and treatment. It would give Mary a prime opportunity to be the encourager (not gonna say meddler), and make us feel guilty for dunking on Wilbur.
It would have more impact as a PSA it the protagonist were Dr. Jeff, someone we already feel empathy for, and not (yechh) Wilbur.
fauxprof - I have the same feeling that we're looking at another one of KM's PSAs. I think you're probably correct in that it will be about loneliness and depression. My thought was that KM would be teaching us how to handle isolation. She's just read a news article about something called "COVID" and wants to warn us about it.
Wilbur looks like he's about to eat those poor fish.
And Wilbur kills off the only two friends he has in this world by overfeeding them. How apropos.
He’s begun to neglect the combover. We’ve reached crisis status. Can Mary and her emergency muffins get there in time?
(On a side note…what do you suppose Mary would sing at Karaoke? Something popular in her youth, like A Bicycle Built For Two?)
@fauxprof -- Ha haaaa, good one!
-- Scottie
I love it when June gives us another goldfish-eye view of wibbly-wobbly water Wilbur.
Coming up next: Wilbur decides to go swimming with his friends in the Charterstone pool.
Belly up to the bar boys; belly-up, belly-up.
Although I recognize the importance of proper punctuation, I immediately read the first panel without the comma, and it made sense.
Any minute now, the heroic Dr. Ed Harding will break down Wilbur’s door, heroically rush to the fish tank, and heroically attempt to save Stellan and Willa, as he shouts, “MY GOD, MAN WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM? DID YOU OVERFEED THEM?”
fauxprof: eats, shoots, and leaves?
I’m hoping this ushers in one of June’s hallucinatory dream sequences or, given the state of Wilbur, more likely, just plain hallucinatory sequences.
I have some specialized information about reviving goldfish, and if you’re interested, send me $19.95 and a self-addressed envelope. No? Okay, I’ll tell you.
One night I went into my son’s room to turn down his bed. I happened to glance over at the fish tank. One fish was swimming lazily around. But the other fish had flopped out of the tank and was lying limply on the floor! I decided to place him back in the tank and let my husband ‘discover’ and deal with him later, a decision of a type that will be understandable to married women.
I eased Henry gently back into the tank, and he floated on the top of the water. The other fish came up to him and blew air into his gaping mouth. Suddenly, Henry shrugged, then swam rapidly in circles! And lived several more years.
I also read that Dame Judi Dench once gave her fish mouth to mouth breathing. So, Wilbur, sober up and kiss those fishies!
Will Wilbur go to the pet store to buy a new fish, and meet someone who also loves fish?
Or will the other fish {Willa?} die of loneliness and leave Wilbur in deep depression?
Will the heroic Dr. Harding arrive in time to revive Stellan? Will Dame Judi Dench?
Will Wilbur decide on kippers for breakfast?
Stay tuned for this action packed adventure.
When I was a kid, I tried staring down my goldfish to see who'd blink first. Then I realized fish don't have eyelids.
I rather hope that Mary will do the rescue breathing. That’s a cartoon I yearn to see.
Wilbur’s very best Brando impression— thank you, Karen! I’ve been waiting so long.
Oooooooh..... Not as good as his DiCaprio when falling off the Love Boat..
A Streetcar Named Rejection.
If we still had the Worthy Awards, we have a contender for Panel Of The Year.
(Wilbur sometimes brings out the best in KM and June. Totally off the rails!)
I am glad we weren't subjected to Wilbur screaming while wearing a sleeveless T-shirt.
No doubt Mary will hear that blood-curdling cry and rush down with one of her platitudes.
"Oh, Wilbur. You know what they say. If life gives you goldfish, make goldie-lox."
Yaaaaa! @hmmmm! Wonderful!
Thanks, MissScarlet!
So, fish death is going to rocket Wilbur back into connecting with living, breathing humans? Mary will have to break down the mountain of carryout boxes stacked against his front door in order to reach him, but as long as she follows the sound of him bleating "People, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world", I think we're good.
The last thing I needed this morning (or any morning) was the sight of Wilbur's lower half in his underwear.
@Miss Scarlet: it could have been worse. He could have been wearing his Speedo.
Oh, fer cri -yi, Wilbur, can’t you at least give Stellan the dignity of being interred in Mary’s rose garden!?
Hey, Wilbur could have saved that comment for the Sunday summary!
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