South Bend, Indiana

I thought of many of you as we drove through Ohio yesterday. I can’t get today’s comics to load properly, and we need to hit the road, so I thought I’d share this:

We spent the night in a Holiday Inn Express in South Bend, Indiana, where Housekeeping has a great sense of humor:

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“Je regrette tellement. I regret so much.” If I haven’t learned how to use Google Translate by now, then what was the point of this story?

During the next couple of weeks, Mrs. Wanders and I will be driving across the country, visiting family and going to Disneyland. I’m not bringing a laptop, and creating these posts on my phone is kind of tricky. So I may not be posting every day. Secret messages are especially hard so don’t count on those. And there may be more Me than Mary Worth here for a couple of weeks, especially if we come across any roadside attractions. 

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I love that many of us still remember fondly that spring day in March 2012 when a magical hobo changed Nola Wolvenson's life. Please Dawn, please have the same epiphany!

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Okay, I’m guessing this guy will tell her about the family he left behind in a civil war somewhere who he’ll never see again, and Dawn will be comforted that she still has her Dad in her life and we can then move on. Please, let us love on.

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What good is being able to read your mind, when your thoughts are all in French!

Now it's time for a POOL PARTY!

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Dawn is now quoting Le Cid by the French tragedian Pierre Corneille. This story is definitely a tragedy, but not for the reasons the author imagines.

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When you lick it, you can taste the ocean.

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So suddenly we're worried about being "Realistic?" It's a bit late for that I think.

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Regret? Like going to lunch at a French restaurant at the mall?

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"I thought you loved me, Dawn. And yet, you haven't heard a word I've said all summer long. EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN FRANCE! Vive la France!"

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"Did I say that out loud? I'm sorry, Hugo, I meant to only think it. I'll go back to expressing my feelings only in thought."

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Gurrrrrrl! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Everything in France is so much better than in the U.S., how can you even think this?

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Staying in shape while traveling internationally is always so difficult. But Hugo has discovered the perfect workout without spending a single minute in the gym: Pushing a paint roller over a house.

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“Zat iz exactly what I meant. Let’s get food in 90 minutes. “

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"Smugmental?" Nicely coined, Fauxprof.

I love the many literary devices that Karen Moy incorporates into her storytelling. The duplicate-plot-in-an-Ask-Wendy-letter device allows Mary to give advice to Dawn without giving advice to Dawn. Which means the advice is meant for someone else, probably us. Is Karen Moy the real Hugo? Don't leave us Karen Moy. We will never get over you. Never!

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Don't get excited, folks. There's no way that the Jamaican bartender story would have been any better than the French house painter story.

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"Il y a beaucoup de poissons dans la mer, ma chérie."

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Santa Royale beaches are extremely unpopular.

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“I’m worried that all those fish we enjoyed seeing behind glass are now swimming freely around my feet. I wish all fish were in a tank and we could have the ocean to ourselves. Oh, Hugo!”

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Wait... what? I’m not sure what your point is, Hugo, but they belong in the ocean. The tank is their prison.