Mary Worth 750

If I understand Bonnie correctly, Mary, she's suggesting that she can handle this on her own, and that she really doesn't need your help. She is definitely not asking for you to put her under your voodoo spell.

Thank you, Scott, for another awesome banner!

Mary Worth 749

Mary Worth may be "there" for Bonnie, to help her sort out the mess she calls life, and the mess she calls home, but she isn't such a great listener. In today's entire Sunday strip, all Bonnie manages to squeak out is a desperate, "Mary..." Perhaps she was trying to tell Mary that she's repeating herself terribly.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 748

I don't think I want to know all of Bonnie's bad habits, but cross dressing is clearly one of them.

Mary Worth 747

And I know a fashion counselor whom Bonnie and Ernie can talk to. Er... with whom they may speak.

If you're like me, you thought of one person when you heard the word "counselor." Terry Bryson. Ensign Terry Bryson. It's funny how time dulls the senses. When the image of Terry Bryson popped into my brain, I was actually kind of excited. I had to pause and think, wait, Terry Bryson was without a doubt, the most painfully pedantic character ever to cross the threshold of the Charterstone Condominium Complex.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 746

Four piles. Four different destinies. The sorter shall decide. But who shall presume to sort? Only Mary Worth, for her decree shall not be overlooked on the Day of Final Sorting. O, what a week of glory this shall be. Let the sorting commence!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 745

Mary, I must respectfully disagree. You most certainly can have it both ways. You can have your cake and eat it too. The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. NPR and FOX News. The Yankees and the Mets. Paper and plastic. You can be both fat AND skinny. Old AND young. Ambiguity is the sugar and spice of life.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 744

Mary, get help. Please. Before it is too late. Your problem is as easy to see as a room full of boxes, obvious to everyone but yourself. Of course you want to criticize Bonnie. She lives in a condo full of boxes. Boxes from Maisie's and J.B. Penny. Big boxes, with stripes. You can't help yourself. Bonnie is the first person to stand up to Mary Worth since Lynn Griffin told Mary to take a hike. I hope she has better luck at helping Mary change her ways.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 743

Well, gee, Mary... Thanks. Now that you put it that way, I've completely lost my compulsive desires. If only other addicts would stop and consider what they might lose if they continue to act out, the world would be free of problems forever.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 742

I think Bonnie speaks for the entire Charterstone residency when she says, "Don't judge me, Mary."

Perhaps it is Mary Worth who truly needs help. Denial ain't a river in Egypt. Here are some more 12-Step quotes that might be helpful to Mary:

• God save me from myself.
• When I turned myself over to God, I took my life out of the hands of an idiot.
• When the world comes to an end, it will do so without my permission.
• Constructive criticism: I tell you what's wrong with you./Destructive criticism: You tell me what is wrong with me.
• "I don't need your help today.... Love, God."
• Expectations are premeditated resentments.
• The only thing worse than my problems are my solutions to them.

Meddlers Anonymous meets every Monday and Thursday evening at 8 p.m. at the Santa Royale First Methodist Meetinghouse at the intersection of Old Country Road and Ernst Avenue.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 741

Wow. Just wow. I'm sitting here in reverent reverie, stewing in the juices of jubilation, as I savor again and again the depth and excitement of Bonnie's story. For those who wish to join me in my exquisite exultation, I am printing Bonnie's story below in its excellent entirety.

My Compulsion to Shop
Bonnie's Story

by Karen Moy
Let me tell you a story, Mary. When I was growing up, we couldn’t afford nice clothes. I was always envious of other girls who dressed better… It was like that until I married Ernie. After my marriage I could finally afford to buy what I wanted. And I did. My mother passed away soon afterward and I was devastated! There was … a void. Some voids can never be filled.

Today's Full Strip