Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Eighth Annual Worthy Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Welcome to the eighth annual Worthy Awards, celebrating outstanding achievement in the Mary Worth comic strip during 2015, brought to you by Splak - the breakfast cereal with as much fiber as a mighty oak.

It's the event of the year! And you've played a very important part. Thousands of votes were cast, but two categories came within two votes to determine the winner. Yes, every vote counts.

But first, to get things started, here's Dionne Warwick and the Green Jacket Dancers!

Thank you awkward Asian woman for turning off the video playing machine!

And now, on to our first category.

Outstanding Costume Design

It's not always the amazing stories we remember in Mary Worth. Sometimes, it is the amazing costumes. This year's nominees for Outstanding Costume Design are:

Ian Cameron for "Not-So-Little Green Jacket"

Adam Miller for "Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting"

Terry Bryson for "Mod Squad"

Terry Bryson for "Little Orphan Terry"

And the winner is:

Ian Cameron for "Not-So-Little Green Jacket"

For those of you thinking that the green jacket was the obvious winner, keep in mind that it was one of our close calls, winning by only two votes. Runner up: Terry Bryson for Mod Squad. Better luck next time Terry!

And now...

Outstanding Set Decoration

We had some wonderful set pieces this year! The nominees are:

Carnival Cones

Pretty Big Computer-Like Thing

Deep Seated Therapy Couch

Looking Out Looking In

And the winner is...

Pretty Big Computer-Like Thing

Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character

Each year, we look forward to making new friends with guest characters, but two of this year's nominees were returning friends! The nominees are:

Terry Bryson

Amy Dingdon

Evy Taylor

Hilton Berkes

Taxi Driver

And the winner is...

Taxi Driver

Outstanding Floating Head

Where would we be without our floating heads? Lost, never knowing who anyone was ever gossiping about! This year's nominees are...

Adam Miller

Ian Cameron

Olive Taylor

Sean Hastings

And the winner is...

Sean Hastings

Panel of the Year

Perhaps the favorite category, Panel of the Year seems to be the most anticipated and discussed category throughout the year. This year nominees are...

Up, Up and Away

Tastes Like Chicken

The Dirtiest Thing in my Home

Isn't it Romantic?

The Giant Dip

Can I Give You a Hand in the Kitchen?

And the winner is...

Isn't it Romantic?

Outstanding Performance by a Recurring Character

The most coveted of all Worthies, the nominees are...

Ian Cameron in "Show Me the Green Money Card"

Jeff Cory M.D. in "One Fish Two Fish"

Mary Worth in "If Auntie Mame is Boring and Sanctimonious"

Toby Cameron in "I Have an Art Show to Crash"

And the winner is...

Toby Cameron in "I Have an Art Show to Crash"

Story of the Year

And now, the moment we have all been waiting for. This year's nominees for Story of the Year are...

Christmas (and Easter?) in New York

Hanna Dingdon Gets Her Man... and his apartment

I Guess I Love you After All

Breaking Up is Hard to Read About

And the winner is...

I Guess I Love you After All

Congratulations to all of our winners! And remember, it is no shame to go home without a loving cup! All of our nominees are special. But to those of you with trophies, we love you! You are wonderful! You will be remembered as legends in your field forever! That's something the losers can't say. Tonight's victory is especially sweet for Terry Bryson, perhaps one of the most loathed characters of all time when she first helped Toby Cameron deal with her identify theft.

... Wait a minute... Okay, folks. I have to apologize. Let me just take control of this. This is exactly what's on the card. I will take responsibility for this. It was my mistake. It was on the card. I don't know how I got so confused. The real winner of the Story of the Year Worthy is...

Breaking Up is Hard to Read About

Could someone please take the Worthy Award out of Terry Bryson's ice cold hands and give it to Toby Cameron? I'm serious, "Breaking Up" beat "I Guess I Love You" by one vote. Just one vote. No, get that trophy away from her before she flings open every door and escapes. And get Adam Miller's trophy and give it to Ian Cameron. No, he's easy to catch. Just take the trophy away. There you go. Okay, that's all worked out. Everyone happy except Terry and Adam? Okay, good.

Thanks to our sponsor Splak, Dionne Warwick, and especially you! On behalf of the entire Condo Board, we'll see you next year!

Monday, January 11, 2016

Mary Worth 2228

Me, searching for a plot: We established early on that Olive's family lives in a "moneyed neighborhood." We recently learned that Olive is generous, even if it is with other people's money. She is a kid, so she doesn't have her own money, so she window shops. Now Mary is going to take her real live shopping.

Me, still searching for a plot:

Today's full strip

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Mary Worth 2227

You can, Olive! Mary has lots of money. Ask her for more to give to that homeless man, whatever his name is.

Today's full strip

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Mary Worth 2226

At last, Olive has a vision. Apparently, Bum Bumsington will find a menial job in the food service industry, and judging by his expression, finally lose his faith.

Today's full strip

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Mary Worth 2225

"I belong to the church of Ozma. We await the return of the Munchkins from over the rainbow. They will rule in soft pastel colors and transform Manhattan into a city of emeralds, paved with yellow brick. Would you like to know more?"

"Come along, Olive."

Today's full strip

Monday, January 4, 2016

Friday, January 1, 2016

The 2015 Worthy Award Nominees

Dear Reader,

As 2015 draws to a close, it is our privilege to invite you to vote for your favorite moments of the year to be acknowledged later this month in the eighth annual Worthy Awards ceremony. The Condo Board has spent hours reviewing each private moment of our residents' lives, thanks to our secure and discrete video monitoring system.

We found that the Charterstone Jukebox was very helpful for clearing our brains of any intelligent thought, and establishing the proper mood for appreciating each of these moments. We hope you will listen as you cast your votes. The Jukebox is located in the column to the right on your computer browser, or you can launch Spotify here.

And now, for your consideration...

Outstanding Costume Design

Ian Cameron for "Masters Souvenir Jacket"

Adam Miller for "Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting"

Terry Bryson for "Mod Squad"

Terry Bryson for "Little Orphan Terry"

Outstanding Set Decoration

Carnival Cones

Pretty Big Computer-Like Thing

Deep Seated Therapy Couch

Looking Out Looking In

Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character

Terry Bryson

Amy Dingdon

Evy Taylor

Hilton Berkes

Taxi Driver

Outstanding Floating Head

Adam Miller

Ian Cameron

Olive Taylor

Sean Hastings

Panel of the Year

Up, Up and Away

Tastes Like Chicken

The Dirtiest Thing in my Home

Isn't it Romantic?

The Giant Dip

Can I Give You a Hand in the Kitchen?

Outstanding Performance by a Recurring Character

Ian Cameron in "Show Me the Green Money Card"

Jeff Cory M.D. in "One Fish Two Fish"

Mary Worth in "If Auntie Mame is Boring and Sanctimonious"

Toby Cameron in "I Have an Art Show to Crash"

Story of the Year

Christmas (and Easter?) in New York

Hanna Dingdon Gets Her Man... and his apartment

I Guess I Love you After All

Breaking Up is Hard to Read About

Thank you for submitting your votes. The polls will remain open until 5 p.m. Pacific Time, Sunday, January 10, and the Worthy Awards will take place no later than Monday, January 18.

Sincerely,

The Condo Board

Mary Worth 2223

If ever irony has been used more effectively to portend pending doom, I've not known it. Just outside that door awaits the speeding bus.