Mary Worth 2781

"Was I?" Ha ha ha ha ha!

"Who... ME?"

Who Me GIF from Who GIFs

The Tenth Annual Worthy Awards

The Charterstone Condo Board welcomes you to the Tenth Annual Worthy Awards! Brought to you by Norwegian Cruise Lines. See the world on a Norwegian Cruise. "Our fish point toward the front of the ship."




And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the show! Please stop mamboing and take your seats.

Before we get started, here is perhaps the most charming opening number we've ever had, featuring several of our Charterstone residents:

Keeping things on an upbeat note, each year we take a moment to award the Aldo Kelrast Worthy Award to a character who died during the year. It's our little way of saying, Thank you.

Unfortunately, this year the Worthiverse was very light on death. Several near misses, but not a whole lot to choose from. But then, Wilbur Weston's self respect took a complete kamikaze dive into the Bogota sea. This year's Aldo Kelrast award goes to Wilbur's self respect. Mr. Weston, please pass along our congratulations should you ever find it again. And could you please send us a photo of your legs?

Who wants to see some winners?? It's time to award the Worthy Award for the Best Performance by a Guest Character!

The nominees are:

Entertainer Esme in "Ginger vs. Mary Ann"

 Fabiana in "But there are no beaches in Bogota"

 Medical Assistant Jared in "For the Love of Bagels"

Torn in "Ask Wendy Again"

And the Worthy Award for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character goes to: 

 Entertainer Esme!

She may have lost her man, but she won something even better! Congratulations to Entertainer Esme.

Our next category is:

OUTSTANDING STUNT

The nominees are:

 Derek Hoosier: Katie! Stand Back!

 Entertainer Esme: Nooooo!

 Medical Assistant Jared: AUGGH!

 Fabiana: You'll need a drink to do this!

Smoker: Tiny puffs of smoke

And the Worthy Award for Outstanding Stunt goes to:

 

Entertainer Esme!

This is Entertainer Esme's second Worthy Award. She also won this year's Outstanding Guest Character. In case you forgot.

Next we have:

OUTSTANDING COSTUME

The nominees are:

Dawn Weston: Tommy's Not the Only One Who Found Religion

Entertainer Esme: That Dress

Fabiana: Leopard Skin Perfection

Toby Cameron: Leapord Skin Wanna Be

And the Worthy goest to:

Toby Cameron

I'm really not sure how many Worthy Awards Toby has won over the years, but probably not very many! Congratulations, Toby!

Our next category is:

2017 BOLDFACE HAIKU OF THE YEAR

This new category is thanks to Santa Royale Citizen Nance, who composed short poems using the bolded words of each day's strip.

The nominees are:

"In International Waters, People Start Talking Like The Hulk"

Gorgeous hunk? Have!
Is passenger! Know off-limits!
Me--challenge. Want!
Can. Should!

"In Which You Can Either Read This As A Metaphysical Treatise On Adulting Or The Alternative Lyrics To Whip It By Devo"

Work grind!
That...like. Change pace!
Wrong! Like! Vibe this!

"Meaningless Blather From Blabbing Blondes" or "If The Patty Duke Show Theme Song Were A Boldface Haiku"

Switch? I'm you!
Yeah! Here! You me!
Thanks!

"Thanks To Zak And All Bran, Things Are Moving On"

Sorry, moved on...you.
Not! That's!
Too late. Friends...

"If A Tree Falls In The Irony Forest And Only An Oblivious Pot Is There To Hear It, Is The Kettle Still Black?"

New boyfriend...
Strange!
Why? Attractive couple, happy.
Don't know. Younger!

This year's Boldface Haiku winner is:

"Thanks To Zak And All Bran, Things Are Moving On"

Sorry, moved on...you.
Not! That's!
Too late. Friends...

And of course, the real winner is all of us, thanks to Nance!

Our next category of nominees is:

2017's OUTSTANDING FLOATING HEAD

The nominees are:

 Dr. Ned Fletcher

 Tommy Beedie

 Wilbur Weston

 Wilbur Weston

 Wilbur Weston

And the winner is...

Wilbur Weston

Congratulations to Wilbur Weston, who is no stranger to Worthy wins. His three floating head appearances really split the vote, but ... wait a minute... What's all that commotion in the back of the theater... Sir, please take your seat... Security... Security... You can't come up on the stage, sir... Hey, everybody! It's...

... it's 22-year-old Chris Hemsworth! What a great honor to have you here. To what do we owe the pleasure?

22-year-old Chris Hemsworth: G'day mate. I'm here to say how completely devo I am about this year's awards. Everybody knows I played Zak, and I think my performance was bonzer. But I was completely ignored by the Condo Board. The worst blow of all was to appear in a floating head next to Wilbur and to be completely ignored. I'm only 22, and can't even grow a beard, but I'm still totally hot and old women want to take me home, but the Condo Board completely ignored me. I'm here to protest the entire process and -- I'm sorry, I don't mean to cry -- but I haven't been this devestated since Iris broke up with Zak. I've got heaps of money now, too, and I think I really deserve this.

Twenty-two-year-old Chris Hemsworth everybody! Okay, take your seat. I forgot how young 22 really is. Seriously, take your seat. I don't want to ask again. Security, get this kid out of here. Get him a Kleenex, too, to wipe away his tears.

Sorry, folks. That was pathetic. Let's get on with the show, and everyone, please, just try to enjoy yourself.

Our next category of nominees is:

2017's OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A RECURRING CHARACTER

The nominees are:

 Mary Worth

 Dawn Weston

Iris Beedie

Wilbur Weston

And the Worthy goes to:

Wilbur Weston

This is Wilbur Weston's 3,000 Worthy Award - it seems like.

Our next category of nominees is perhaps the most eagerly anticipated category all year long:

2017's OUTSTANDING PANEL OF THE YEAR!

The nominees are:

 AAAUGH!

Bogota Beach

 

Star Wars

Riding Horses

And the winner is:

Bogota Beach

Thank you, thank you, June Brigman, for all of your contributions to this strip. It just keeps getting better and better!

Our next category is:

2017's STORY OF THE YEAR!

The nominees are:

 The Hoosiers are Cruisers

 Han Solo and Luke Skywalker Can't Both Love Princess Leia

 Ask Wendy

Iris Loves a Poor Man

Iris Loves a Rich Man

Bogota Blues

And now, the Outstanding Story of 2017:

 The Hoosiers are Cruisers!

Well, that just about wraps up another wonderful year of outstanding quality and family values in the comic section of a few remaining local newspapers.

I want to thank Karen Moy and June Brigman for keeping it fun, and everyone who voted! Thousands of votes were cast.

I have enjoyed your comments throughout the years, and your donations have been especially appreciated! If you didn't buy a ticket to this year's Worthies, it isn't too late to make a contribution.

 Happy 2018 to everyone! God bless!

Mary Worth 2780

Let's all enjoy Mary advising Wilbur while he eats muffins. 2018 looks promising already! Happy New Year!