I'm an American, so I don't know a lot about soccer. I've already admitted to dropping out of the American Youth Soccer Association as soon as I was introduced to the perplexing Offside Rule. So maybe someone could explain to me the role of a Major League Soccer Manager. In baseball, the manager is the head coach, in charge of every aspect of the game. In soccer, does the manager need to have short stubby forearms, screen calls and do a lot of reading?
The New York Blazes are one of the country's greatest teams. Last year, they took home the coveted MLS Cup 1st place certificate for the third straight season!
Diner patrons come from miles around to gawk at the Amazing Sideways Plate Stacking. It's what Diner does best.
I was stunned this morning to discover that Gina had left Diner, and was home now making personal calls... But then I saw the menus on the counter and realized that -- hooray -- I was wrong. Gina is still on her shift... making personal calls... after spending three hours in a booth with a customer who only ordered coffee. 
Although Mary's idea is a good one, I agree that sky diving onto the field during the game will probably be more effective.
Okay, but be prepared -- things like registering for school, transferring credits, cashing checks and hiding from the mob are going to be a real hassle.
You mean when Bobby's team comes to town in "TWO DAYS?" Because I think you missed the game.
You know what else is forgettable? The offside rule. And if we are going to be attending the New York Blazes' match against the Santa Royale Soccer Team in just two days, we all need to study up. The offside law is the most confusing rule in soccer and drives many a young child away from the sport. It did me. I spent much of my adult life trying to figure out why offside was called against me when I was ten, and after years of study, I finally got it. 
"Also amazing: How I levitate my coffee cup and maintain job security all at the same time!"
