Friday, February 1, 2013

Mary Worth 1,521

And when you're done eating the cake, you can put this on your dashboard to protect you from old people who shouldn't be driving.

Today's Full Strip

28 comments:

Muscato said...

Oh, dear. He's busted out Candy Mary, and now we're going to head into a sad tale of frustrated romance. This could take us well into the fall if worst comes to worst, unless there's an imminent round of raddled cake-dropping, followed immediately by a moving van ferrying John Dill away to Goleta or wherever it is ex-characters disappear to...

fauxprof said...

Oh, look! It's Mrs. Butterworth...er, Mother Natureworth. Well, there's a Worth in there somewhere.

Pink, pink, it's all so piiiinnnnk!

Thorpnotized said...

Ha, fauxprof - you beat me too it. I immediately thought of Mrs. Butterworth as well. What I can't figure out is, what is John doing to the figurine in the first panel? Filing the head flat?
It's nice that Mary decided to make some cookies while John finishes the cake. But judging from the fact that Mary isn't looking up in either panel, the figurine will be a surprise to her.

Dave in Parma said...

I was thinking a cross of Mary, Mrs. Butterworth and the Statue of liberty.

And for the love of God John Dill, please stop with the double entendres! This is a family friendly blog!

Stumpy Jim said...

STALKER STORY! STALKER STORY! THANK YOU GOD!

KitKat said...

It's only February 1, but I nominate the second panel for Panel of the Year in the next Worthy Awards. Mary/Mrs. Butterworth/Mother Nature in a fuchsia bathrobe just has to take the cake (ouch! sorry guys!). Of course, the first panel has real possibilities as well, especially with a TV camera last seen on the Milton Berle Show. Santa Royale: the Land that Time Forgot.

heydave said...

I am torn between a gag reflex and any diversion from cake.

kathyo said...

Is that figurine holding a bird? Then it's probably a Saint Anthony garden statue with fondant hair added. No wonder the cake is heavy.

polly said...

Ah, the ever-popular bucolic Mary in a bathrobe cake topper. Available now on QVC!

Dave in Parma said...

The figurine would be much better if it was pointing a finger in the air with one hand and clutching chin napkin to her cheek with the other.

Dave in Parma said...

Now Stumpy Jim @ 8:47, don't get our hopes up. With John Dill the inevitable Stalked Story ending runs into some challenges.

We recall that Aldo Kelrast after being spurned drove his Tiburon off the cliff in an act of drunken desperation. Dr. Jeff after being spurned simply ignored the response, acted as if it never happened, and annually repeats the ritual. The Kelrast route would seem more likely for John Dill.

But does John Dill drive? Recall that Mary drove him to Convention Center. Would John need to take the local public bus and somehow convince the driver to take a sharp right into the ravine? Or (and I'm trying to control my giddiness at the possibility), would nosy Mary offer to help drive John, and being the helpful lass that she is, drive him off the cliff herself?

Anonymous said...

In keeping with the "nature" theme of the contest, the cake topper is actually a representation of "Diana", the Roman god of the hunt and animals in general, who apparently bears a strking resemblance to Mary.

Doodle Bean said...

The grey flowers represent blight, thus blighting the beauty of nature.

fauxprof said...

John Dill has inadvertently created a cake for a "singularity" ceremony, wherein a person proclaims their pride in having no partner. The cake topper is either a bride OR a groom, never both. Therefore, John has a subconscious awareness that Mary will choose neither him nor Dr. Jeff.

No Pink Cakes said...

I may be new here, but what does a pink Mary have to do with nature? Good thing Toby, Dawn and Dr. Jeff are the judges.

Anonymous said...

I think John Dill should skip the cake design quest and become a sculptor instead.

birdie said...


Dill did not just create that little doll. It's a voodoo doll he has secretly kept for years. He's had a lot of fun making Mary say, do, and feel bizarre things.

Pay no attention to the man behind the cake.

birdie said...

Notice how in panel 1 Dill hits Voodoo Mary on the head, and Real Mary's eyes close in pain.

This is going to be fun!

NonnyMus said...

What happened to Chin Napkin?!?!?!?!

Inkwell said...

Oh, snap! Are we in for some unexpected kitchen drama? Or 2 months of Mary politely complimenting the topper?

Maybe we're in for a courtroom drama with Mary demanding royalties for using her likeness.

meg said...

Apparently John (Dill) stepped out during the baking period and paid a visit to David Letterman's hair stylist.

Captain Peabody said...

I have a sneaking suspicion that this will all end in Mary feeling smug.

Anonymous said...

He could've at least done Mother Nature in the nude...she'd never wear a nun's habit like he's got her in.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Chin Napkin, on the advice of his agent, walked off the set due to the inferior nature of the material.
It is unlikely that he will be back as it is wish to go back to his first love, the theater.

Anonymous said...

Is that a Dalek in panel one? Why is Mary making cutout cookies in panel two? And how creepy is the idea of the Mary ButterWorth cake topper?

Some of the comments on the Plain Dealer link are hilarious.

--Beagle Vet

Anonymous said...

This story seems to be edging closer and closer to Aldo Kelrast territory. Fingers crossed everyone!

Hopefully it will end with John Dill - after storming off in a rage and then eating the entire cake in an unrequited-love induced sorrow-binge - fatally crashing his bought-used-on-eBay, prone-to-exploding Rascal scooter into the side of Mary's condo.

Doodle Bean said...

John Dill's Story (as told by his cake):

I always wanted to be a girly girl. I just love pink and frilly things and roses and nature and stuff! But my father insisted I wear nothing but blue and grey and work in the family hotel. I got married and how could I tell my wife that I really loved her things, especially the pink things covered with roses?

Finally, my wife died and I retired from the hotel business. At last I felt free! Free to express my true longing for pink pink PINK girly frilly flowery things! I found a super-understanding woman who is still hot despite being 127 years of age. Together, we built an understanding based on our shared love of pink, frills and roses. Mostly pink. Oh, and the beauty of nature or something!

I am so happy, I'm considering buying a pink shirt!! Next stop, Woolworths!!

NonnyMus said...

Wanders, you have to a special Saturday posting because....

Pink Chin Napkin is back! And is being threatened by Hand Towel horning in on its chinnish territory!!!!!!!

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!