Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "There, There. Tell Me All About It, And Don't Leave Anything Out Because The Letters For Dear Wendy Lately Have Been A Real Yawn".
"What are you talking about?" is a very un-Mary thing to say.
She would be more likely to say, "Great! Come sit down and tell me all about it, and help yourself to some of these Caramel Mousse Tortes with Strawberries Arnaud and Irish Creme that I just whipped up."
Perhaps Mary is tiring of Iris and her melodrama. We know that Mary always has freshly baked something at hand (kelk blondies, Splak-prune muffins, etc.), but she's only offering tea today. It's probably bad tea, too, like some unappetizing herbal blend that she's had in the cupboard since the first Clinton administration.
I can't stand to look at Iris's neck in p. 2. If Iris was an animal, she'd be a giraffe.
Iris: "I had to let him go." Mary: "Wilbur?" Iris: "Who?"
Mary: Of course you had to let him go. That isn't a stray you had penned up in the laundry room, it's Mr. Allora's Siamese, Miguel. Oh, I'm sorry, did you mean Tommy is finally moving out? Then what ARE you talking about?
If Iris had played her cards right, she could have waited for the Breakup until AFTER Valentine's Day. Now she'll have to spend the holiday twisting a damp hankie into her palm and watching Mary nod sadly...
Why does Iris have a clear slug (rare species, BTW) oozing from her eye? Fairly creepy. I stepped on a slug when I was camping once, Had to go out of the tent for a bathroom break and...ish. Total ish.
Nance, now when I read MW in the morning I recite the Boldface Haiku and anticipate your title. The Muses certainly inspired you! (They've never visited KM.)
"But the differences are too much" - ??? Wouldn't most people say, "We're just too different"? Whatever Iris is majoring in at the U. of S.R., I hope it's not English.
I don't buy today's extensive emphasizing by Iris that results in the amount of boldface haiku. It's just too hard to be that emphatic while mumbling into a cup of Sanka...
16 comments:
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "There, There. Tell Me All About It, And Don't Leave Anything Out Because The Letters For Dear Wendy Lately Have Been A Real Yawn".
...Had--
What? Come in; tea.
Tell.
"What are you talking about?" is a very un-Mary thing to say.
She would be more likely to say, "Great! Come sit down and tell me all about it, and help yourself to some of these Caramel Mousse Tortes with Strawberries Arnaud and Irish Creme that I just whipped up."
Perhaps Mary is tiring of Iris and her melodrama. We know that Mary always has freshly baked something at hand (kelk blondies, Splak-prune muffins, etc.), but she's only offering tea today. It's probably bad tea, too, like some unappetizing herbal blend that she's had in the cupboard since the first Clinton administration.
I can't stand to look at Iris's neck in p. 2. If Iris was an animal, she'd be a giraffe.
Iris: "I had to let him go."
Mary: "Wilbur?"
Iris: "Who?"
Mary: Of course you had to let him go. That isn't a stray you had penned up in the laundry room, it's Mr. Allora's Siamese, Miguel. Oh, I'm sorry, did you mean Tommy is finally moving out? Then what ARE you talking about?
If Iris had played her cards right, she could have waited for the Breakup until AFTER Valentine's Day. Now she'll have to spend the holiday twisting a damp hankie into her palm and watching Mary nod sadly...
Can we back up here a minute? I think I missed the part where Zak totally fell apart, started sobbing, and begged Iris to reconsider.
I'm just going to say, in my best Bette Davis voice, "Oh, that Iris ... what a whimp!" ("wh" used for pronunciation splendor).
@KitKat: I dig the idea of splak-prune muffins! Too bad that prunes always make me splak ...
Why does Iris have a clear slug (rare species, BTW) oozing from her eye? Fairly creepy. I stepped on a slug when I was camping once, Had to go out of the tent for a bathroom break and...ish. Total ish.
WEDNESDAY
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Iris: Bowed By Grief And Leaking".
Had...Him...Who?
Zak. Had break up.
Care; differences too much!
Sorry.
I'm in total awe of Nance's Boldface Haiku. This blog is the best antidote to the sheer terror the morning news inspires in me.
Nance, now when I read MW in the morning I recite the Boldface Haiku and anticipate your title. The Muses certainly inspired you! (They've never visited KM.)
"But the differences are too much" - ??? Wouldn't most people say, "We're just too different"? Whatever Iris is majoring in at the U. of S.R., I hope it's not English.
I don't buy today's extensive emphasizing by Iris that results in the amount of boldface haiku. It's just too hard to be that emphatic while mumbling into a cup of Sanka...
I really look forward to your haikus now, Nance! :-)
I, too, love boldface haiku!
Inspired, I write:
Mary, Iris drink
Sanka weaker than the tears
Iris cries dumbly.
Oh, thank you! I have to say, Boldface Haiku has renewed my own flagging interest in "Mary Worth".
Could not have Iris
Breaking off the salami
Feel much better now
Post a Comment