"You know, Toby, you're getting a little pushy, always telling me what we're going to do next. Let's not forget who the alpha female is. I call the shots, sweetheart, you're just along for the ride. Now get busy and check these mattresses for bedbugs."
The room looks reasonable, Mary and Toby, not so much. I enjoyed cruise vacations very much, because realprof and I loved each other's company, and were never bored. But it wouldn't have made a riveting narrative to recount to anyone else. We didn't want any drama, just relaxation. So Mary better get to the meddling, or we're all going to fall asleep in our deck chairs. (Don't forget the sunscreen!)
If this cruise is anything like the Carnival cruise that my spouse's parents took us on several years ago, we can look forward to crowded dining facilities, drunk passengers, hairy backs, and small dirty rooms!
Hmmm.. It occurs to me that Mary and Toby must have paid extra for the larger stateroom... No cruise I was ever on had as much space between the beds and the desk as this one does... Looks like a regular hotel room. Maybe they aren't REALLY on a boat after all. Maybe it's just a re-make of "Total Recall"....
The conversation between these two twits could not pass the Turing Test. They would both be judged to be robots. Or maybe "row-bots" as they'll both likely be in a lifeboat before this is over.
Helpful Hint #9: Be sure to be REALLY NICE to your DEAR FRIEND when "cruising" ... be sure to share SPECIAL MOMENTS with her ... otherwise, she might just throw you over the balcony into DAVY JONES'S LOCKER!!!!
Hmmm ... didn't Toby say they were supposed to go "on deck NOW" to watch the ship leaving port? Now they just seem to be on their own balcony. I guess Mary has asserted herself in this case. Also, Derek and Katie Hoosier seem to need no meddling at all. They're already practically perfect in every way. Maybe this "plot" will demonstrate Mary's addiction to counterproductive meddling. ... Seriously, I wish Mary and Toby would go on deck and start interacting in a pushy, obnoxious, meddling manner with other passengers! When will the fun begin?
Who would ever say such a thing? What would possess somebody to utter anything that pointless? If you were lifting off the runway after a layover at O'Hare, would it ever occur to you to look out the window and say, "Goodbye for now, Illinois!"
This strip has never been more banal than it has in the past month.
Wilbur (in the baseball cap on the pier) is desperately trying to signal that they're going to hit that big rock in the last panel. "#*~@!" Said the captain. "I didn't see it! Which way to the lifeboats?"
What the heck do they mean by "Goodbye for now, Florida"? It sounds like a threat. "Goodbye for now, but just wait. This isn't over, Florida, so watch your back!" They're leaving from Port Canaveral, and I have friends who live near there. Whatever the Hoosiers are planning, it sounds ominous. Mary can't step in with these two soon enough.
Mary's Helpful Hint #10: If your husband doesn't immediately bend to your will, take him on a romantic Caribbean cruise! For good measure, THREATEN HIM WITH DIVORCE! Every guy LOVES that!
Will this cruise end with Derek lighting two cigarettes in his mouth, one for him, and one for Katie? Will Katie then exhale the smoke dreamily and say, "Don't let's ask for the moon? We have the stars!" Sigh! ... I suspect it won't happen, but it would be nice ...
Towel folding and line dancing by the pool. Sounds like the absolute worst cruise we ever took. Let's just say this isn't one of the top cruise lines. But I'm sure Mary and Toby will have a tremendously good time. They even managed to score plates for their breakfasts.
23 comments:
This may be the slowest moving storyline of all time. How many more days will it take for the boat to actually leave the harbor?
"Um, Toby....Dear Friend, you're not just going to leave our luggage out in the corridor, are you?
"You know, Toby, you're getting a little pushy, always telling me what we're going to do next. Let's not forget who the alpha female is. I call the shots, sweetheart, you're just along for the ride. Now get busy and check these mattresses for bedbugs."
-- S. McW.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Next In Our Cruise Manuals: Luggage".
Very nice! Comfortable.
Leaving now!
Suitcases outside, pull away!
Exciting! Forward!
The room looks reasonable, Mary and Toby, not so much. I enjoyed cruise vacations very much, because realprof and I loved each other's company, and were never bored. But it wouldn't have made a riveting narrative to recount to anyone else. We didn't want any drama, just relaxation. So Mary better get to the meddling, or we're all going to fall asleep in our deck chairs. (Don't forget the sunscreen!)
Mary seems to be wearing an outfit from the Goodwill Cruise Collection 1982.
I think it's an especially warm and special moment to see Mary and Toby holding hands.
Questions: (1) How old is Toby? (I'm thinking mid- to late 40s.) (2) Does she have any friends besides her Dear Friend Mary?
If this cruise is anything like the Carnival cruise that my spouse's parents took us on several years ago, we can look forward to crowded dining facilities, drunk passengers, hairy backs, and small dirty rooms!
Look, said Dick.
See it Go.
See it go up.
Jane said, Oh Look!
See it go.
See it go up."
Up Up, said Sally.
See Spot run.
Hmmm.. It occurs to me that Mary and Toby must have paid extra for the larger stateroom... No cruise I was ever on had as much space between the beds and the desk as this one does... Looks like a regular hotel room. Maybe they aren't REALLY on a boat after all. Maybe it's just a re-make of "Total Recall"....
The conversation between these two twits could not pass the Turing Test. They would both be judged to be robots. Or maybe "row-bots" as they'll both likely be in a lifeboat before this is over.
Helpful Hint #8: If you're bored, travel with a DEAR FRIEND who is EASILY ENTERTAINED and everything will suddenly seem EXCITING!!!
(Also, if you read the dialogue out loud and raise your voice for the bolded words, it sounds especially ROBOTIC!)
SATURDAY
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Are We There Yet?".
Fortunate!
Me too, beautiful!
Darling, memorable!
Anywhere, you!
Helpful Hint #9: Be sure to be REALLY NICE to your DEAR FRIEND when "cruising" ... be sure to share SPECIAL MOMENTS with her ... otherwise, she might just throw you over the balcony into DAVY JONES'S LOCKER!!!!
Hmmm ... didn't Toby say they were supposed to go "on deck NOW" to watch the ship leaving port? Now they just seem to be on their own balcony. I guess Mary has asserted herself in this case. Also, Derek and Katie Hoosier seem to need no meddling at all. They're already practically perfect in every way. Maybe this "plot" will demonstrate Mary's addiction to counterproductive meddling. ... Seriously, I wish Mary and Toby would go on deck and start interacting in a pushy, obnoxious, meddling manner with other passengers! When will the fun begin?
Sunday
So much talk about today and no guarantee about tomorrow - who's going to fall overboard, or be diagnosed with lung cancer?
"Goodbye for now, Florida!"
Who would ever say such a thing? What would possess somebody to utter anything that pointless? If you were lifting off the runway after a layover at O'Hare, would it ever occur to you to look out the window and say, "Goodbye for now, Illinois!"
This strip has never been more banal than it has in the past month.
--S. McW.
Wilbur (in the baseball cap on the pier) is desperately trying to signal that they're going to hit that big rock in the last panel.
"#*~@!" Said the captain. "I didn't see it! Which way to the lifeboats?"
What the heck do they mean by "Goodbye for now, Florida"? It sounds like a threat. "Goodbye for now, but just wait. This isn't over, Florida, so watch your back!" They're leaving from Port Canaveral, and I have friends who live near there. Whatever the Hoosiers are planning, it sounds ominous. Mary can't step in with these two soon enough.
Mary's Helpful Hint #10: If your husband doesn't immediately bend to your will, take him on a romantic Caribbean cruise! For good measure, THREATEN HIM WITH DIVORCE! Every guy LOVES that!
Will this cruise end with Derek lighting two cigarettes in his mouth, one for him, and one for Katie? Will Katie then exhale the smoke dreamily and say, "Don't let's ask for the moon? We have the stars!" Sigh! ... I suspect it won't happen, but it would be nice ...
Towel folding demonstrations??! I missed out on that for this blasted Teaching Summit?
Towel folding and line dancing by the pool. Sounds like the absolute worst cruise we ever took. Let's just say this isn't one of the top cruise lines. But I'm sure Mary and Toby will have a tremendously good time. They even managed to score plates for their breakfasts.
Post a Comment