Mary Worth 3911

First of all, Ian, you don't "Try Out," you Audition. Secondly, you're going to need to learn the actor's spelling: Theatre, not theater. Thirdly, I want to see you do Shakespeare soooo badly, so, YES please audition for the theatre. And if it is a devoted husband role you want, you'd make a wonderfully racist Othello.

Mary Worth 3796

First of all, ewww. Second, I am going to parse the Shakespeare quote, of course, but first let me say that everyone uses it this way, so I don't blame Mary for missing the context. But this is from Twelfth Night. In fact, I think it may be the very first line. The issue here is that a young man is so love sick, he wants to "eat" so much music that he loses his appetite for love. I think we've all known that feeling while "reading" Mary Worth.

Mary Worth 2126

I love when Karen Moy quotes Shakespeare. She always does it so appropriately. This quote from Macbeth's most famous soliloquy seems to describe my experience reading Mary Worth each day, although it is more specifically Macbeth's reply to learning of his wife's death. Is Toby doomed?

Of course, the final line of the speech is perhaps even more appropriate:

It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.

Mary Worth 1,344

Holy cow! These were the exact words spoken by all the passengers of the Costa Concordia the day before it sank! It's even the same port! They set sail from Civitavecchia, and three hours later, while everyone is enjoying a nice candlelit dinner, BAM, they run right into a reef! It was an absolute real life disaster. At least 30 people died. I certainly hope that Karen Moy isn't going to trivialize this tragedy by incorporating it into a Mary Worth plot... but if she does, I hope she includes some horribly-out-of-context Shakespeare quotes.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,114

So, the Oscar Wilde quote that Karen Moy has selected today to pay tribute to our fallen 9/11 heroes is from the play Salomé. In the play, the wickedly insane Salomé, having convinced Herod to bring her John the Baptist's head on a platter, says to the prophet's severed head:

Ah! Wherefore didst thou not
look at me, Jokanaan?
Behind thine hands and thy curses
thou didst hide thy face.
Thou didst put upon thine eyes the covering
of him who would see his God.
Well, thou hast seen thy God, Jokanaan,
but me, me, thou didst never see.
If thou hadst seen me thou wouldst have loved me.
I, I saw thee, Jokanaan, and I loved thee.
Oh, how I loved thee! I love thee yet, Jokanaan.
I love thee only. ...
I am athirst for thy beauty; I am hungry for thy body;
and neither wine nor fruits can appease my desire.
What shall I do now, Jokanaan?
Neither the floods nor the great waters
can quench my passion.
. . . Ah! ah! wherefore didst thou not
look at me, Jokanaan? If thou hadst looked at me
thou hadst loved me. Well I know that
thou wouldst have loved me,
and the mystery of love
is greater than the mystery of death.

Karen Moy has quoted some of Shakespeare's greatest villains in the past, thinking their words were noble, completely not understanding that the author was putting virtuous words in their mouths to make them more evil. I've found that funny.

But today, her ignorance has crossed into offensiveness.


Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 926

Well, it was a lovely wedding... We gathered together at the Church of Math to add one man and one woman together to make one flesh, as the Bible says.

I was a little surprised when the bride's father got disoriented and walked her down the side aisle of the church, but it gave those of us with bad seats and bad mustaches a better look at all the features to love on the bride's dress.

It was a bit stunning when William Shakespeare arrived and quoted from Henry VI, Part III. In fact, it was horribly inappropriate, as Shakespeare usually is when he appears in Mary Worth. He quoted from a scene when the spineless king decides he'd rather meditate than rule, so he asks two of his former enemies to rule jointly in his stead by joining their hearts together. One of the two men pretty quickly turns back against the king and helps slay his son, if I'm remembering right, which I think I am. Anyway, I hope this isn't going to doom the marriage...

The minister had barely started the service, when Shakespeare began to read Venus and Adonis. "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain..." except he said "comforts" instead of "comforteth" so that the groom's friends wouldn't get confused. Also, the poem was way too long and is perhaps his most erotic work. I was really embarrassed for William Shakespeare.

Everyone was really happy and jumped up and started to congratulate the couple, but then the minister asked us to quiet down because he wasn't done yet. Eventually, Mr. and Dr. Scott Hewlett were happily married. I just hope that nothing insane happens at the reception, like some crazy drunk crashing through the wall of the caterer's and ruining the cake...



Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 307

She's done it again! This proves that our illustrious writer, Karen Moy, neither reads our blog, nor cares what we write.

But the last time she quoted Shakespeare, she used the quote to suit her own meaning, completely ignoring (or ignorant of) the quote's original context.

Today, Ms. Moy chooses to quote one of Shakespeare's greatest villains, Iago from "Othello." (As a side note, I saw Christopher Walken portray Iago in 1991 in Central Park. "Saturday Night Live" appearances aside, that boy can act!)

Today's quote is spoken by Iago as he feigns to resist smearing Cassio's good name by suggesting Cassio is having an affair with Othello's wife Desdemona. Iago's deliberate web of deceit ultimately leads Othello to murder Desdemona.

I love "Othello" so much that as a college freshman, I actually used one of Iago's speeches in my first audition. I won't say I was horrible, but I had learned the piece that day and I forgot my lines. I started improvising in iambic pentameter. It was truly embarrassing, but fortunately, the play they were casting was "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and after some pretty intense call backs, I was cast as a Mechanical - a member of the troupe of very bad actors who perform "Pyramus and Thisbe." I played Thisbe and had a blast.

Okay, I'm a little off topic, but my eyes are starting to burn from too much exposure to Toby and I don't know what else to say. However, I'm sure you can think of something. I love reading your comments - no need to be brilliant, just let us know what you think.

Today's Full Strip.

Mary Worth 268

I love when people quote Shakespeare and have no idea what they're talking about. The actual speech begins:

If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.

Duke Orsino is suggesting that if he listens to enough music, it will be like eating too much food, and help kill his love and desire for Lady Olivia. Get it? It's just like when you read a lot of Mary Worth and you lose your appetite.

Today's Full Strip