Mary Worth 316

Yesterday, I posted a link to a blog article about the CEO of Lifelock (if you live in the U.S., you've heard the ads) who had his identity stolen after posting his Social Security Number on his website. He is so confident in Lifelock's identity theft insurance, that he is always telling people his Social Security Number in his advertisements. I saw him on television once and he came across to me like a huckster. I wouldn't trust him with my personal information for half a second. Allegedly, his co-founder stole his own father's identity to apply for credit - it just seems like a shady operation to me.

Well, the same blog wrote up an article on all the free things you can do for yourself, that Lifelock charges to do for you. Today, Ensign Terry Bryson of the Starship Enterprise has suggested that Toby do one of those things. "No, go ahead, Toby. Contact the credit bureaus before we do anything else. I'll wait here and play Backgammon. See you in a few hours. Do you have any snacks?"

If you'd like a preview of the next few weeks of Mary Worth read the article, and let's see how many of the things Terry covers.

Security Check List so far:

• Request Fraud Alert from all three credit Bureaus (repeat every 90 days).

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 315

It's okay, Toby. Everybody's doing it. You have no reason to feel ashamed. I, myself, lose my identity at least three times a week. In fact, I enjoy it. A lot.

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Getting Out of My Cage

The Cage has been discussing the comic strip afterlife.


Oh, The Cage. You've been very, very good.

Mary Worth 314

Aha! Let the detective work commence forthwith and posthaste. Nothing will be more thrilling than watching Mary Worth, Toby Cameron and Terry Bryson review paperwork for several months while they solve a mystery that we already know the answer to. Fortunately, the story will be interspersed with Ian raging on and on about online safety while he excoriates and emotionally abuses Toby, rendering her incapable of ever using a computer again. So that will jazz things up.

There's that word again. I wonder how you spell it?

Any guesses how Toby puts the pieces together?

Today's Full Strip.

Mary Worth 313

Oh, oh, oh how I wish they'd written "At Mary's irging..." Then we would have come full circle. For now, I keep wanting to ask, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

However, we're about to meet a new character, which is always exciting. She is clearly a security expert; she knows that when you answer the phone, you must demand to know who is calling you, because people never identify themselves when they call.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 312

There are some things that I don't know about, too. Like how a cupboard suddenly materializes on a kitchen wall. I plan to educate myself right away. If I could install cupboards this easily, my kitchen would be remodeled in a week. Including new tile on the floor.

I've never been particularly fond of the character Toby; however, I've never disliked her to the extent I've disliked other characters like Ian, or Mary, or any other character in this strip...so by process of elimination, she may be my favorite. At some level, I have found her to be remarkably tolerant to spend as much time as she does listening to Mary drone on and on. I know at times, I've wanted to jump off a bridge when Mary opens her mouth, but Toby will ask questions encouraging Mary to continue. Yet, I've never thought of Toby as especially stupid until this storyline. There are a couple of reasons I've felt this way: First of all, Toby has been especially stupid. Secondly, and panel two is an excellent example of this, she's starting to look dumber and dumber as well. It's wonderful when we get to watch a character evolve, even if there is no logical explanation for the evolution.

Mary Worth 311

Recreating the Big Bang in the Large Hadron Collider is one way to end the world. However, for anyone who doubts the signs of the times, Mary Worth just referred Toby to someone else for help! Stock up on duct tape and water bottles, before it's too late.

But it's still not too late for you to become a citizen of Santa Royale!

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Apply for Santa Royale Citizenship!

Today I launched a new widget on the east side of this blog that lists any of you who want to become a Santa Royale Citizen. All you have to do is click the "Follow This Blog" link and register with your Google Account. (No, Toby, no credit card is necessary to register!)

Be sure to upload a picture of your beautiful face as well. Beautiful people aren't automatically citizens of Santa Royale, but citizens of Santa Royale are automatically beautiful!

Mary Worth and Me 310

Mary, as always, has some really good advice. Marriage IS a partnership, and when you give out your credit card number to Canadians so they can wrack up $18,000 in beer, bacon, and beaver tails, you should probably tell the joint owner of your condo no matter how stupid his friends make you feel.

Mary Worth 309

I know that there are lots and lots of things that could be said about panel 1 today, but I want to focus my energy on panel 2:

Shortest professional conference ever!

This morning, Toby drove Ian to the Santa Royale International Airport; then Toby went home and heard her answering machine declare, "Fraud Alert!"; Toby called the bank and spoke with customer service for five minutes; Ian, who must have taken a very fast plane to Chicago, has now called Toby to tell her all about some dull lecture with which he was enthralled, and how sad he is to see it all come to an end.

At first, I thought perhaps I'd messed up my time line. Rather than a really short "Teacher's Conference," perhaps it had just been a very long telephone conversation with the bank. But, no, I realized Toby hadn't tiled her kitchen floor yet, so, yes, it was just a very short conference.

Today's Full Strip