Mary Worth 2549

Ah hah! This story is about more than just sailing into the Bermuda Triangle! It's about giving up cigarettes. Hopefully nothing stressful will happen to the Hoosiers from Kentucky on this trip. My advice? Avoid the old lady in front of you.

True story: Mrs. Wanders and I celebrated our first anniversary at the Kentucky State Fair in 1993. As a native Californian, I was stunned to see that it seemed like the biggest 4-H Club exhibit at this HUGE event was the how-to-grow-and-cure-tobacco-so-teenagers-can-start-smoking-and-die-young exhibit. Then there were horses.

Mary Worth 2548

Mr. Hoosier's speech impediment helps him to rhyme Hoosier's with Cruishers. But speech impediments will not be a concern on the high seas! He won't have to put up with the taunts of his bowling league buddies back home in Kentucky for an entire week!

Mary Worth 2547

Mary hasn't cruised since the Titanic scared her off. (She then only traveled by Zeppelin. At least until the Hindenburg disaster.)

Mary Worth 2546

"We travel not to escape our husbands, but so they can escape us." - Toby Cameron

Mary Worth 2545

So, to recap...

• Cruises offer something for everyone.
• People with different interests can travel together and still have fun.
• Families with kids, couples, seniors all enjoy cruises together.
• Mary loves the amenities and entertainment on board.
• Toby loves the food.
• Cruises offer a wide array of entertainment options.
• Cruises offer a chance to see foreign lands in an easy way.
• Toby loves the food.

This looks like it will be a lot of fun... ::yawn::

Mary Worth 2544

Wait... that's it? I found a good deal, you sure know how to pick 'em? Let the comedy hijinks commence as Mary and Toby embark on the cheapest cruise inside the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe the ship will break down and they'll be stranded without air conditioning or running water. Maybe they'll get kidnapped at their first port of call. Maybe they'll eat bad shrimp and spend the entire cruise throwing up... or perhaps that will just be us.

Mary Worth 2543

Jeff has successfully fulfilled his responsibilities as a Man of Honor. Recognizing that Ian will be at a teaching summit, he acknowledges Mary's invitation as thoughtful and kind, but graciously declines due to health, while silently knowing it would be inappropriate for him as a single man to travel with his girlfriend and another man's wife. Why? Because he would go CRAZY!!

Mary Worth 2542

I was at least hoping we would get to see Jeff's trick knee, perhaps pulling a rabbit out of his pants.

Mary Worth 2541

This week's public service announcement was part of King Features Syndicate's settlement with the Cruise Line International Association (CLIA) after Karen Moy's hatchet job a few years back:

Mary Worh 2540

"Dear Wendy, thanks for your recent advice, but I sent you my letter three weeks ago! While waiting for your response, the company offered the job to someone else! Thanks for being so slow to respond. If it weren't for you, I'd have to go to work today. But as it is, I have plenty of time to go on a cruise. It's a good thing that financial concerns aren't ever a consideration in the Worthiverse. Signed, Broke but Who Cares."