We will be right back with a special note from Wanders after this word from our sponsor:
Welcome back. Here's Wanders with a few remarks: I want to offer my special thanks to all those who bribed the judges after casting their votes. You were very generous. Unfortunately, since all voting was anonymous, I have no idea whose votes came with gratuities, so I had to keep the voting clean, but I do know who made donations, and in all sincerity, I am really grateful.
The Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award
Before we start handing out loving cups, let's take a moment to pay tribute to a Mary Worth character who died in 2022. Every year, we pause and recognize the loss of a character that we will truly miss.
This year, the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award goes to Wilbur Weston who fell off of a ship and drowned in the ocean. Wilbur was the kindest, most thoughtful and most beloved resident of Charterstone Condominium Complex, not to mention a great father and animal lover. Thank you, Wilbur, for all you have done. We will never forget you.
And now it is time to present our first Worthy Award...
Quote of the Year
And the nominees are:
"You Already Know About My Progress With Strength Training"
"Chicken Cutlet Sandwiches, Assorted Sides and a Variety of Soft Drinks"
"Have You Gotten a Good Collection of Eager Minds?"
"It's Up To The Individual to Comply or Not"
"I Have a Keen Eye"
"Not to Mention my Wonky Thyroid"
"You Really Captured my Uncommon Mouth"
And the Worthy goes to...
"You Really Captured my Uncommon Mouth"
Congratulations, Toby, for speaking your truth so well. By the way, I don't think your mouth is uncommon. I think it is beautiful. You shouldn't feel so self conscious... And I am not hitting on you.
Our next Worthy Award is for...
Outstanding Floating Head
And the nominees are...
Helen Moss
Iris Beedie
Jess Bender
Mrs. Weston
Wilbur Weston
And the Worthy Award goes to...
Helen Moss
The Worthiverse loves a good stalker, that's for sure.
Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character
The nominees for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character are:
Jared Mylo
Nan
Jess Bender
Cal
Helen Moss
The Worthy for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character goes to:
Helen Moss
Ian Cameron's Ex sure did win our hearts. It must have had something to do with her negative space.
Our next Worthy Award is for
Outstanding Performance by a Regular Character
The nominees are
Mary Worth
Iris Beedie
Zak
Dawn Weston
Wilbur Weston
And the winner is:
Wilbur Weston
Since Wilbur is dead, we have arranged for his daughter ... Wait a minute! Whose that coming in through the back door of the auditorium? Do my eyes deceive me? Can it be? It is! It's Wilbur Weston!! He's alive! Oh, dear. This is awkward... Wilbur, we can't take back a Kelrast Memorial Award... Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to take a break while the mob that has formed here inside the Santa Royale Community Auditorium is either suppressed or satisfied. We'll be right back...
Welcome back. I think we are ready. That was a pretty startling display and I am glad none of you at home had to watch that.
Our next Worthy Award is for
Panel of the Year
And the nominees are...
Zakie Sweetheart
Dawbur Weston
Zak had a Good Life
School Management
WORRLLD-D-!!
And the Worthy goes to:
WORRLLD-D-!!
It was a difficult choice to be sure, but the people have spoken. Of course, now that we know Wilbur didn't drown, it makes this very bitter-sweet. Or, uh, just bitter.
Our final Worthy Award is for
Outstanding Story of the Year
And the nominees are...
Code Oscar
School Management
No Bad Blood
The Incident at Piccadee Falls
And the winner is:
Code Oscar
Well, this concludes our broadcast. It certainly has been a long year, and we are already bored in 2023. I can hardly wait for our next award ceremony.
Ladies and gentlemen, get home safely, or if you are participating from home, be careful that you don't fall off of anything on your way to bed.
If you'd like to leave a tip on your way out, here's the link! Thank you!
Way to hold on to your independance, Jeff. Mary managed to coordinate the entire congregation with her purple dress, but you somehow managed to mismatch even your own colors.
Wilbur, your perpetual misery is going to have to wait. We've already had a preview that the next story is a Tommy/Brandy story. Cliffhangers will be abundant.
Citizens of Santa Royale - and this includes you - Yes, you! - It is time to cast your vote for the most outstanding 2022 moments in the entire Worthiverse.
I know some of you are thinking that this year was horrible. There were no outstanding moments, but I believe the Condo Board has done a superb job of selecting this year's nominees, and you will say, "Oh, yes. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed Mary Worth and Friends last year. I must fulfill my civic duty and cast my votes." Doesn't that sound fun??
After you cast your votes, return again and again, and cast more votes because it is the democratic thing to do. It is the only way you can ensure that your favorites are selected. (That and a generous bribe).
So go ahead and drop another nickel in the Charterstone Jukebox, pour yourself a steamy cup of Sanka, butter a warm blueberry muffin, and sit back and relax. It is time to relive all the joy of last year's Mary Worth.
And the nominees are:
Quote of the Year
Outstanding Floating Head
Helen Moss
Iris Beedie
Jess Bender
Mrs. Weston
Wilbur Westton
Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character
Jared Mylo
Nan
Jess Bender
Cal
Helen Moss
Outstanding Performance by a Regular Character
Mary Worth
Iris Beedie
Zak
Dawn Weston
Wilbur Weston
Panel of the Year
Zakie Sweetheart
Dawbur Weston
Zak had a Good Life
School Management
WORRLLD-D-!!
Outstanding Story of the Year
Code Oscar
School Management
No Bad Blood
The Incident at Piccadee Falls
Thanks for voting! Now vote again, and don't forget to bribe the judges!
The winners will be announced at the 15th Annual Worthy Awards on Monday, January 9, 2023!
I don't think he has anything in purple or pink. Oh, man. This line is a great gift to start the year on. I join with Mary in wishing blessings to each one of you for a happy new year.
