Monday, February 28, 2011

Mary Worth 969

Iris seems to have attempted an abrupt exit from the booth, but Wilbur's drawn out blabbering has forced her to stick around. "How did that go?" she asks retaking her seat, resigned to her fate.

Iris hasn't been in the strip since before I started blogging, but I'm pretty sure she used to look a lot older. Does anyone remember her last name?

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Mary Worth 968

This wonderful Yiddish expression, which I first heard in Fiddler on the Roof, is generally used when someone says something nice, and someone else wants to use it almost as a prayer. You: "Wanders, one day your blog will make you millions of dollars." Wanders: "From your lips to God's ears."

It does not -- and this is important -- it does not mean that if you eat cookies, God gets one too. I think the expression Wilbur is thinking of is, "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Mary Worth 967

You worry about a lot of things, Wilbur, but clearly you aren't worried about cholesterol as you suck the grease out of another chicken nugget.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Mary Worth 966

Okay, I'm a dad. So, I can sympathize with Wilbur's desire to spend time with his daughter and to maintain a certain level of communication. However, inviting her to a movie (too busy), and then to the Most Romantic Restaurant on Planet Earth (not hungry) is more than a bit weird.

Wilbur, may I suggest the following, "Dawn, since even before your mother left me, I have cherished you. Not only do you reflect all of her finest qualities, you have become your own person; an adult with great talent and potential. That you have chosen to live at home while you finish your education is a great joy to me. However, while you choose to live rent free under my roof, there are a few basic standards that I wish to maintain... Now put down your texting machine and make me a ham sandwich."

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mary Worth 965

Ever since I got you that tin can phone on a string, you do nothing but talk to your friends next door. You send them text messages on paper airplanes you throw out the window, and when the birds sit on the string between the two cans, you send tweets.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Mary Worth 964

This has turned into some sort of bizarre father-daughter version of "Whose Afraid of Virginia Wolf." More booze!

Today's Full Strip

Monday, February 21, 2011

Mary Worth 963

I'm worried about US too! I'm worried that this story could go on for a whole 'nother week. An entire WEEK!

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Mary Worth 962

Is that some kind of threat???

Nice try, Mary Worth, but I think I'll continue to read your strip and take my chances.

(And I hope our new readers will take their chances and remember to read their free secret message by holding their cursor over each image.)

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Mary Worth 961

This is the moment I want to see Dawn's face rise up from inside the monitor, bang on the glass and scream, "Let me OUT! I'm trapped in the Internet world where the rivers are too deep! I was drawn here because I'm a young person who is interested in the minutia of other people's sentences!"

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Mary Worth 960

What you're seeing are simple sentences because a comic strip is not Charles Dickens. Oh, never mind!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Mary Worth 959

Mary Worth and Me has been Tweeting since May 2008. I have over 40 Tweets already! I'm obsessed!

While Mary Worth focuses on absolutely how dumbed-down a computer can get, I've been fascinated with IBM's Watson who "spanked" all challengers during yesterday's second day on Jeopardy. Have you followed this? It's been very interesting.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Mary Worth 958

By expressing an interest in what younger people are drawn to, no doubt Mary Worth hopes to draw younger people to her. And no doubt, Karen Moy hopes to draw younger people to her strip. But with characters like Wilbur Weston continuing to push the boundaries of creepiness, I would advise younger people to steer clear. Older people too.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, February 14, 2011

Mary Worth 957

"Hee hee hee hee... oooo... I've never been online before.... I suppose just one time won't do any harm.... hee hee hee hee.... oooo... it's like another world!...."

I believe Karen Moy's impression of the Internet is that it is as dangerous for old ladies as medicine cabinets are for teenagers. And good ol' Wilbur Weston has become the world's most dangerous pusher. I wonder if he has any art that could scar children?

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Mary Worth 956

...Other worlds, as gray as the moon, where the inhabitants eat Kelk and glow a creepy yellow before they kill.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Mary Worth 955

Mary puts away her groceries -- finally, a new plot.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Mary Worth 954

Does Mary Worth not see the irony here? Karen Moy is completely mocking her and should be punished.

Last year, Twitter made $45 million. But now, since Mary Worth has been plugging Twitter for an entire week, Twitter is suddenly valued at almost $10 BILLION, and Facebook and Google are drawing up their battle lines for a bidding war, which will make Twitter worth even more. Did I mention that last year, Twitter only made $45 million? Such is the power of Mary Worth product placement.

Mary Worth 953

At first, I thought Mary was so curious about Tweeting, that she had lept from her seat and was now standing, demanding to know more. Then I thought, but how could she balance on those spindly crisscrossed legs? Then I realized, no she's still sitting. She isn't as excited about Tweeting as I thought.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Mary Worth 952

Because Mary Worth knows everything, I sometimes forget that she doesn't know everything. What a Luddite. But be careful, Mary. I know you're curious, but curiosity is what gets most addicts started.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, February 7, 2011

Mary Worth 951

Well, it looks like I'm going to spend a week staring at Wilbur's amoeba shirt. Might as well make a ham sandwich and just accept it.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Mary Worth 950

...he says as his computer monitor rises up from his dinner plate supplanting his own interaction with food. But perhaps that's a good thing.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Mary Worth 949

Like many of us, Wilbur is of a generation that understands the dangers of technology. So far, we've been lucky... but it may just be a matter of time before Twitter builds sentient robots that take over the world.Today's Full Strip

Friday, February 4, 2011

Mary Worth 948

I don't know which is more insulting to our resident punching bag Wilbur Weston, the fact that his own daughter says she may not follow him back on Twitter in Panel 2, or the terribly unflattering angle at which Joe Giella drew panel 1. This is one screen no one wants to stare at.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Mary Worth 947

And Dawn certainly knows what an addiction feels like after her run in with that meth dealer. You know who else knows what an addiction feels like? Jill Black. Gosh, I miss her.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mary Worth 946

The first step is to recognize there's a problem...


The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over our cell phones — that our lives had become unmanageable. We even ate corn bread muffins in our rooms.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (Mary Worth) could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Mary Worth as we understood Her.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We asked Mary if we got it right.

5. Admitted to Mary, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs: "We like to send text messages."

6. Were entirely ready to have Mary Worth remove these defects of character. And take away our texting machines.

7. Humbly asked Mary to point out our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Especially dear old dad.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others (i.e., We did not text our amends while driving).

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Before Mary could point it out to us.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of Mary Worth's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, (which was not difficult since we could easily text the message).

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Mary Worth 945

I know this will be hard for you Wilbur, but Dawn is like 27, and even though she's still freeloading at home while she drifts through her education at Local University, you've got to give her some space to interact with her Internet friends. Otherwise, she's never going to find a boyfriend.

Today's Full Strip