Friday, May 31, 2013

Mary Worth 1,604

Elinor is recuperating in the Doctors' Lounge? A blue cloud of cigarette smoke, a white hot spotlight, and a red hot gown, as Elinor drapes herself across a baby grand and sings,"Cry Me a River."

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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mary Worth 1,603

So, did the EMT's hook their patient up to an intravenous anticoagulant even though she registered no abnormal vital signs and was only pretending to be unconscious? Or did they just shove some aspirin down her gullet? Because I believe one of those blood thinners would be legal for them to administer, and the other one wouldn't.

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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Mary Worth 1,602

I think you mean, "It's all the fault of that workaholic, bachelor... BABY man! Tom Harpman!"

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Friday, May 24, 2013

Mary Worth 1,601

Do you think if people keep repeating it, we will actually start to believe that Tom works hard? And yet, we've never seen him work a day, nor do we have any idea what kind of work he does. Maybe he's on the Charterstone maintenance crew, quietly working behind the scenes on projects like (very quickly) installing larger mailboxes so the Charterstone residents have room for larger Social Security checks.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Mary Worth 1,599

Great idea, Tom! Then you can have two mothers! Beth AND Elinor. I wonder if there are any other women at Charterstone whom you could add to the collection. #panel_two

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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Mary Worth 1,598

Isn't it great that after they fell in love, they changed their names to Beth Dear and Tom Dear?

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Monday, May 20, 2013

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Friday, May 17, 2013

Mary Worth 1,595

This panel isn't as scandalous as you may be thinking. Uncle Joe has simply drawn Beth with three shoulders.

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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Mary Worth 1,594

Mary, still full of youthful vigor, pulls off the overhand-overhead twist as she propels orange juice into Toby's cup.

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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mary Worth 1,593

Chin napkins in love!

The other day, some of you asked for evidence that I've been learning to play the ukulele. My post is a little late today because I've been spending Mother's Day alone in my basement recording this while my wife fixed dinner for the kids.

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Friday, May 10, 2013

Mary Worth 1,592

Be careful what you wish for. You could end up with the most demanding and oppressive mother-in-law of all time. Ha ha ha ha.

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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Mary Worth 1,591

I didn't have time to write this morning, but I couldn't go to bed without posting: Tom and Beth both play the ukulele? I like them more and more each day. I've been playing the ukulele for over a year now and it is the most wonderful instrument ever invented. For these two ukulele players to find each other in a world of pop-40 is a true miracle. Now eat your yummy pork blobs and get married already! Put this lonely bachelor out of his misery.

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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Monday, May 6, 2013

Mary Worth 1,589

Just what every workaholic bachelor divorcé wants: A wife who cooks AND treats him like her own little four-year-old child.

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Saturday, May 4, 2013

Mary Worth 1,588

I wish Tom would stop referring to himself as a bachelor. I know that technically he's correct, but isn't divorcé more accurate? I mean, in my mind, calling Tom Harpman a bachelor is like calling anyone who appears on the show "The Bachelor" a virgin, even if they have stopped having sex. I mean, once it's gone, it's gone.

Also, the salt is back. Go salt!

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Friday, May 3, 2013

Mary Worth 1,587

See Tom. See Tom wash carrots. Wash, Tom, Wash. See carrots. Wait. Wha...? What happened to the carrots? And what happened to that sink? Can we start over?

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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Mary Worth 1,586

I've been sick the last few days, and too sick to write, but Mary Worth brought some soup over last night, and I'm starting to get back on my feet.

So, today I'll just point out that Mary's reaction to being asked to lie for Beth is adorable. Simply adorable.

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