Mary Worth 2387

"I was thinking that after we get your meds, we could go to the bar and watch sports. Just don't order a drink because you know what an addict you are."

Mary Worth 2386

These two ought to open their own Pharmacy.

Mary Worth 2385

I'm hoping this means that tomorrow we will get to watch Mary write her column at the computer. I'm sure it will be full of wonderful advice about the importance of parents engaging with their children, even when they are adults, and making sure they have plenty of Vicodin to take away their pain.

Mary Worth 2384

That's right, Iris. Acknowledgement is the first step to recovery from certain "propensities" to engage in "behaviors" that could be "problematic" and make one "susceptible" to returning to "prison."

Mary Worth 2383

It appears that Mary has tipped her cup of Sanka and it is now spilling over the side, but that would mean that the laws of gravity are now being uniformly applied in the Worthiverse, and I doubt that would ever happen.

Mary Worth 2382

"Tommy, I'm running to Costco and I want you to come with me now that Tina broke up with you."

"Do they have a pharmacy?"

Mary Worth 2381

In yesterday's secret message, I acknowledged that blueberry pie is on my list of top two pies. I consider myself a bit of an expert at eating blueberry pie. But not even I would even DREAM of serving blueberry pie, with its runny compote and staining juices in my LIVING ROOM. Mary Worth, I am in awe of you. Awe.

Mary Worth 2380

So, yesterday, long-time Citizen Kit-Kat asked the question of questions: How many days before Mary shows up with pie and platitudes? Answer: One. I for one am eager to hear Mary's advice on overcoming opiate addiction. Of course, as I recall, she was a passive bystander in Tommy's exam room when the former convict/addict was prescribed the Vicodin in the first place, so she may not have a lot of knowledge on the subject. But why should that stop her?

I love reading everyone's comments. The Citizens of Santa Royale are great! Just a reminder to keep it family friendly, or the Condo Board may issue a memo. And trust me, none of us wants that to happen.

Mary Worth 2379

Tommy's right. There isn't much he can do about it. The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 only protects employees of companies with 50 or more employees within a 75 mile range. So unless Jerry has franchised or expanded his operations in the greater Santa Royale metro area (GSRMA), Tommy really can't file an unlawful discharge suit. Let's face it, Tommy only got this job when long-time customer Wilbur Weston cashed in on a chit to impress his on-again off-again Iris. But now, with Wilbur overseas writing survival stories, there's not really much he can do to force Jerry to keep Tommy on. Of course, with Wilbur out of town, Jerry is doomed to bankruptcy anyways, so it really doesn't matter.

Mary Worth 2378

It looks like Tommy is beginning to come to terms with the fact that he's fallen into the bottomless pool. Acceptance is the First Step, Tommy. Olive Taylor may have also liked the song Private Idaho, but unlike Olive, Tommy won't be showing up in Mary's dreams. At least not in the same way. I'm not sure even Mary Worth can save Tommy now.

Mary Worth 2377

"You remember Tina, Tommy. You were such a cute couple! But could you tell her not to call my cell phone? I prefer texts."

Mary Worth 2377

He can't shave his face, but his chest is as as smooth as a Vicodin gel-cap?

Mary Worth 2376

Is doctor shopping anything like selecting a ripe melon? Because I've never been able to do that well, but Tommy makes it look so easy.

Mary Worth 2375

Uh, oh. Is that a computer screen at the pharmacy? Are medical professionals even allowed to use computers? I had no idea. Seems like a serious breach of the Hippocratic oath to me.

Mary Worth 2374

Is Vicodin the only pain medication that doctors prescribe these days? Because I'm starting to see this story more as an advertisement than a cautionary tale.

Mary Worth 2373

Three days of Vicodin is three days too many!

Mary Worth 2371

Dr. Alopecian probably knows what he's doing. After all, his medical diploma is as legible as his handwriting.

Today's full strip

Mary Worth 2370

Just follow the birds, Amy Reed, they know the way to the oxygen. Of course, you may have to leave Santa Royale to get there. Do you know how to fly?

Mary Worth 2369

Tommy, here's something that may help you actually enjoy being a Blue Man. A trip to Town Diner!

Today's full strip

Mary Worth 2368

At least Tommy can pass the time with plenty of Log Cabin Living magazines. And their lovely Forestry coffee table book.

Today's full strip

Mary Worth 2367

Don't forget what happened the last time you went to the doctor: Magic!

Today's full strip

Mary Worth 2366

You know what's great for the flu, Iris? Vicodin.