Mary Worth 323

Ironically, reading this story has robbed me of my identity.

It has also sent shock waves through the worldwide financial markets as millions of Mary Worth readers have refused to participate in e-commerce, sending the global marketplace tumbling to the brink of disaster! Mary Worth we need you now more than ever! Tell us what to do!

My apologies...

I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I write this blog to sustain some sort of public interest in Mary Worth. At times, I have been absolutely delighted by the author's ability to actually tell a story two panels a day, even though it makes the dialog stilted and disjointed. I'm amazed that Joe Giella, who recently turned 80, is drawing this every single day. I love the retro style and inane inconsistencies.

There is almost always something satisfying about this strip.

But every morning for the last five weeks I've woken up and wanted to pound a nail into my brain. For some reason, Karen Moy has decided that the best way to warn people about identity theft and online fraud is to use her comic strip, which appears in newspapers and on the Internet where (if I'm not mistaken) there tends to be ::gasp:: information about identity theft and online fraud.

I can just see Granny McGillicutty opening to the style section and thinking to herself, "Oh, I hope Terry Bryson can tell me more about protecting myself from identity thieves today. I don't know where else I can learn about that mysterious $1.09 charge to Pretty Purposes that appeared on my credit card this month."

For those of you without a nail gun, here's today's strip.

Mary Worth 322

Why did "I gave out all my personal information in reply to a phishing email," only get a "Don't feel bad, it can happen to anyone," from Terry, while "I may have overlooked a one dollar charge on my credit card statement," gets a, "YOU DID WHAT!?"

But very legitimate financial and legal advocates are responding quite enthusiastically to this exciting story. Like this guy who refers to it in his blog. He gets the fraud victim wrong; Mary Worth would NEVER fall for a phishing scam. Still, that's no reason not to trust everything else that he blogs about.

Today's Full Strip

Aldo Kelrast/Oceanic Flight 815 Day

I've been very sick the last few days, as may be evidenced by my pathetic writing attempts. But, hey, at least I made an effort. However, in my delirium I nearly missed Aldo Kelrast/Oceanic Flight 815 Day.

That's right, today's the day we take a moment to commemorate two momentous events in pop culture history: Aldo Kelrast driving to his death in a drunken stupor off the edge of a cliff, and the mysterious disappearance of Oceanic Flight 815.

Perhaps Aldo is only as dead as the Oceanic Six and will return to us shrouded in mystery and subterfuge. Or, maybe Toby will file her income taxes. Both would be really awesome plots.

Mary Worth 321

Sheesh... the paper is completely blank! If you're going to write a three-month-long public service announcement, don't leave out the most critical piece of information. As I said, sheesh. Well, as my own little act of public service, I'll pick up where Mary Worth has dropped the ball. Click here to report phishing.

Oh, and by the way, Toby's gotten at least one credit card statement since she was scammed, so if Enormoushop hasn't figured it out yet, they aren't worth doing business with. Always use a reputable online company to process your transactions. That's why I like PayPal; they act swiftly to put an end to this sort of thing. If only they could act swiftly to put an end to this story! Maybe if you make a donation to this blog using PayPal, it would help.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 320

Today's Full Strip

New Blog I Love:

Thou must be readin this: Japes for owre tymes.

Mary Worth 319

"Oh, my dear, dear computer. How I love you. How I cherish the feel of your thin film transistor liquid crystal display. How I love to hold your wireless mouse and rub it all over your wired mouse pad. You have always treated me kindly. You would never let evil phishing Canadians take advantage of me. Would you?"

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 318

"I'm sorry, did you say phishing or fishing? I think I know what fishing is, with the worms and fish and junk, but it sounded like you said phishing. And I don't know what that is at all. It sounds technical and dangerous!"

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 317

Not excessively? Not excessively. Well, that's the problem. Maybe if you spent a little more time online, you wouldn't have been so quickly duped by the Canadian phishers. I recommend spending less time with Mary, and a lot more time on the computer. Maybe start a blog.

Oh, I also recommend just stopping this story now. Today. Don't worry about finding a resolution. You've written yourself into a deep, dark hole. Even by Mary Worth standards, this is the most boring "story" I've ever read. Still, I feel strangely compelled to order a credit report, so mission accomplished.

Today's Full Strip.