Mary Worth 127

Plot. Advancing. Too. Quickly... Must. Make. It. Stop.

A rift in the Mary Worth Time-Space Continuum is causing mass disorientation. Time speeds up. Drew Corey spontaneously sings Rogers & Hammerstein songs in public. Dr. Jeff stands in the background while a blue-&-black-haired stranger says good-bye to his son.

As much as I would like to think this is the last time I ever see Dr. Drew Corey, I'm quite convinced by this rush to Vietnam, that we're simply being set up for more Drew and Vera in just a few short weeks when Drew returns home as a new man (played by a young George Clooney).

Edited to add: How the heck did Mary and Jeff (and the stranger in the green jacket) get to the gate without a boarding pass?? This really is 1978 isn't it!

I blame the Dharma Initiative for all of today's current strangeness! Mary Worth conspiracy theorists, beware!

Mary Worth 126

Bye, son. Have a nice life in Vietnam.

Mary Worth 125

Drew has lost all manual dexterity. Smack to the head. Followed by uncordinated spasms.

"Maybe one day I'll be able to thank her.... and then we can fall in LOVE again, and do this groovy new dance I made up!!"

Mary Worth 124

Now, be honest. Did you laugh and laugh like me when you read the above? And it wasn't a cynical laugh either. It was just a delighted giggle about every single element of today's strip.

Jeff's continuing obsession with his nebulous fund raising campaign. Drew's melodramatic entrance. The notably small word balloons when we've grown accustomed to some seriously stretched-out speeches lately. The looks of utter shock on Jeff and Mary's faces at an extremely predictable plot twist. There's still something characteristically self-aggrandizing in Drew's statement, "I want to help," and I can't help but expect him to say next: "It's just the thing that will help me forget Vera and what a fool I've been."

Ah, yes. It felt good to laugh at Mary Worth again.

Mary Worth 123

I love when Mary Worth and Dr. Jeff Corey get ticked off with each other. Mary, constantly passive in her aggression, Jeff pulling out the bold italics to hold firm to his position. For some reason, Mary is crazy-squirrel intent on making sure Drew "finds himself" in a third world hospital, rather than on the slopes of Switzerland or the warm beaches of the Caribbean. Jeff puts on his big boy pants and stands firm: "Mary, stop trying to send my son to stinking Vietnam, where I almost died two years ago. Whatever he wants to do, I'll support HIM, so shut up."

So loyal is Jeff to his spoiled-rotten son that he draws no boundaries: If Drew wants to climb a tree, I'll support him. If Drew wants to carve soap, I'll support him. If Drew wants to eat a rat, I'll support him - which coincidentally is a popular menu item in Vietnam according to the Wall Street Journal.

What kinds of things would you, dear reader, like to see Jeff support his son, Drew, doing? I think it's time for another Not-A-Real-Contest. Make your suggestions by February 29th and the winner gets to pick a song for the Charterstone Jukebox. The only rule is that you keep it clean - I know, that takes all the fun out of it for some of you, but we're a family-friendly blog. (Not-A-Real-Contests are not real contests.)

Mary Worth 122

Hmmm. So, Drew has led Vera to the necessary lesson for her greatest inner growth? Dating her new boss? Wow. Way to go, Soul Mate.

Mary Worth 121

Today's installment makes me happier than happy. The thought of Drew actually helping others as a doctor is nobler than noble. Rather than just doing it for the chicks and cool cars, or to help third-world children, he'd actually be doing it to get rid of his feelings of self-loathing, which is almost humane-er than humane.

American Idol Charterstone Style!

No one was more thrilled than Mary Worth with the song selections for last night's American Idol contest. Twelve men, all carefully culled from thousands of would be music artists, put together a repertoire so stellar that I am adding four of the songs to the Charterstone Jukebox (in the right hand column of this blog)! It was a lounge singer's potpourri: "Everybody's Talkin'," "Breaking Up is Hard to Do," "More Today than Yesterday!"

But the winner of Charterstone Idol was Jason Yeager's unbeatable rendition of Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini's "Moon River." What a delight! Not even Chikeze's orange suit could compete with Yeager's uber-lounge performance. It was a Santa Royale swoon fest. Mary Worth, Toby, Dawn Weston, Vera Shields - all the ladies had to be resuscitated with smelling salts. Then, as they frantically tried to figure out how to text message their votes, they had to be sedated when techno-frustrations piqued to fury.

Mary Worth 120

Yes, please, please, please ship Dr. Drew off to Vietnam. That's an excellent idea, and sure to cheer him up, just as Dr. Jeff seems so cheered by his own memories of the place. He's so happy he can barely stand on his own two feet.

Mary Worth 119

You know in the bottom of the ninth when your team is one run behind with two men on and two outs, and up to the plate steps Chipper "The Babe" Mays who you just know is going to get the job done? Or when Polly Trueblood has been tied to the railroad tracks by Dastardly Dick Diamond for not paying her mother's rent, but over the hill comes Will Goodheart just in the nick of time? Or when the wagons are circled and the Indians (pissed off by European encroachment and Manifest Destiny) are showering the settlers with burning arrows, but in the distance you hear the trumpet call of the Calvary, ready to slaughter the brutal -- okay, that's not such a good example. Never mind. But you get my point!

Here comes Mary to hit one out of the park! Here comes Mary to stop the train at the last second! Here comes Mary to teach the White Man to live in harmony with American Indians and organize a weekly cultural exchange program whereby both races can learn to respect the customs of the other and live in peace without destroying the land.

Here comes Mary in full meddle mode ready to save the day!