Mary Worth 300

Does Toby really fear for her life? This is absolutely startling. Judging by the thick, yellow mucus dripping from her empty eye sockets, this is serious. I had pegged Ian as a lot of things (blowhard, pompous windbag, sea captain), but I never figured him for a wife killer.

But don't worry, Toby; he probably won't literally kill you. Since you keep separate credit card accounts, Ian can simply divorce you and let you pay off the loan yourself by selling your miniature art pieces. Or, if suspicions are accurate and you really are a robotic gynoid, Ian will simply sell you online to pay off the debt. How ironic.

Today's full strip.

Mary Worth 299

"Someone bought me a house? I've always wanted to live in Canada!"

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 298

Even Mrs. Toby "Victoria" L. Cameron, with her superior and tremendously well reconstructed nose in the air, knows she hasn't moved to Canada, thus proving her point: Bank of Santa Royale is an idiot.

Today's full strip.

Mary Worth 297

I don't think we've seen Toby's tail before. Beautiful plumage!

Gertrude McFuzz would be envious.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 296

"I better not call my bank back. This sounds like some kind of scam to get me to reveal my credit card number over the phone."

Today's Full Strip.

Mary Worth 295

Mrs. Toby L. Cameron has fallen to the floor in anguish! This looks like a job for the Protectors of the Earth!



Today's Full Strip.

Mary Worth 294

Yeah, give me something I do need! Like a 45-pound bucket of tile grout, or a bank that can decide whether or not to include the article 'The' as part of its name, or an answering machine that doesn't shape shift like Odo the Changeling on Deep Space Nine so I can find the 'erase' button before this message concludes and get busy tiling my kitchen floor!

Today's full strip.

Mary Worth 293

Aha! New plot: Toby retiles her kitchen floor. We'll spend the first week watching her pull up the old tile.

Week two: She'll sand down the left over grout.

Week three: Toby will lay down 1/2-inch cement board.

Week four: Toby discovers that she needs to adjust her floor boards to accommodate her new floor height. And she remembers to seal the edges to prevent water damage.

Week five: She starts to lay down the grout and tile using her spacers to help create a tasteful, artistic pattern.

Week six: Toby gets out her wet-saw and cuts the edge pieces to fit.

Week seven: We watch the grout dry.

Week eight: Mrs. Toby L. Cameron seals the grout and checks her answering machine.


Today's Full Strip.

Mary Worth 292

I'm not sure what the heck is wrong with the roof of your car, Toby, but for heaven's sake, keep your eyes on the road. If you roll that vehicle, you'll be donating your heart to some needy soul at Mountview Hospital. So will Ian, since clearly he's had the airbag removed to make room for his considerable girth. Of course, Ian's booze-sodden liver is not eligible for the organ donor program.

Today's Full Strip.

Doesn't it just go figure that the day my ZAF! Gear arrives in the mail...

... dear reader Chris informs me that Zaf! is already a very expensive line of jeans!

Mary Worth 291

As a public service, I have not reprinted panel one from today's strip as it is highly disturbing. You may view the strip in its entirety by clicking the "full strip" link below. Public reaction will no doubt be strong since it is such an upsetting image. I feel the need, once again, to request that comments on this blog remain rated PG or milder, only because my initial reaction upon viewing Ian's line of sight and his waistline (if you can call it a waist), was to call the FCC and complain about decency standards in the media.

Rather, today I wish to focus on panel two and the hope we've been given that no one will mention Scotland again for at least a week!

One must wonder if Ian is traveling to Chicago in his swimsuit since this is the second time his wife has said she'd see him when he gets back. Apparently, this is their good-bye scene. At least he won't get held up at the metal detector, unless of course he gets stuck in it.

Today's Full Strip. If you dare.