Mary Worth 476

She's back... This will be excellent.

Here's a few possible questions Mary might ask tomorrow:

1. What's it like to kiss a man? It's been so long, I've forgotten.
2. Should your father and I elope?
3. How serious are you about this whole marriage thing?
4. Would you consider marrying one of these random waiters in slacks instead?

Those are just a few I came up with. I'd love to hear your suggestions. In fact, let's make it a Not-A-Real-Contest contest. The reader who comes up with the best question as judged by the Condo Board will get to choose a song for the Charterstone Jukebox! All songs must be approved by the Condo Board, and remember, this is not a real contest. Let the meddling begin!

Read Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 475

It may be hard economic times for the rest of the world, but in Santa Royale, new restaurants are popping up all over town:

That red Kool-Aid runs right through you and causes Mary to utter her first words in weeks: "Excuse me." And what does she end up doing? Inadvertently wandering into the men's room to overhear Ted talking to his mother on his transistor camera electric razor radio phone.

Mary Worth 474

If by busy schedules you mean sitting on Mary's couch, parking Adrian's car, and eating at restaurants, yes, I could see how it would be hard to get together for dinner.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 473

Hey, didn't Adrian wear that outfit yesterday, in the car, for about four minutes?

Ted's phone has an antenna, but does it have a camera? Because at first I thought he was taking a picture of this inopportune moment. I was really looking forward to hearing Ted say, "About that impressive number I wrote on your napkin, Jeff..."

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 472

Lynn is quite right. The order of things Jeff will be thinking of is:

1. Why am I still dating Mary Worth? Give me one good reason! Besides the fact that we both like seafood.

2. I'm getting low on Grecian Formula.

3. How will Ted support my daughter? She's only a doctor with no marketable skills.

4. If he is broke, how will he pay that impressive donation he pledged?

Yes, of all four things that will occupy Jeff's mind, the donation is indeed last.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 471

In the length of time it takes to find out your fiance is an unemployed writer ::shudder:: and your cherished doctor's salary is now salary for two, Adrian has managed to reverse her jacket and swap her black blouse for a red turtle neck. Given the overwhelmingly negative response by our readers to being called "Queenie," I'm thinking you're thinking it is time for a change.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 470

I just want to hear from the women on the blog: If the term of endearment your significant other constantly referred to you as was "Queenie," how would feel about that? Seriously. Okay, men can answer too.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 469

I've never really stopped to evaluate Adrian's physical beauty, but, brrrr, tell her your trust fund has evaporated and she turns into a hideously deformed troll with a demon mouth drifting aimlessly across her face.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 468

This is a lovely moment. They're already engaged, so it is perfectly appropriate to give your fiance a second-hand ring while sitting in her car parked outside the mechanic's shop waiting to have the steering wheel installed.

I guess it is kind of bad news. For those of you who can't read the rediculously fine print, Karen Moy is acknowledging that she left out Jad Fair's name when she quoted from "Some Things Last a Long Time" last December. I'd love to think we had a small part to play in helping to restore justice to the Worthiverse. Congratulations, Jad, on finally getting your name in a Mary Worth strip - even if it is extremely tiny. I am very jealous.

Mary Worth 467

Now Jeff knows how Public Radio feels. Listen, if your boyfriend can't keep his pledge to NPR, how's he ever going to keep his commitment to you?

I want to point out my new feature: Wanders' Album of the Week - where I get to express my musical interests beyond the Charterstone Jukebox. The widget is located just beneath the Jukebox in the right hand column.

Today's Full Post

Mary Worth 466

It is unfortunate that when Simon and Schuster published David Gamby's new novel, TINT, they printed so much of it backwards. It really killed sales.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 465

I may not be completely familiar with the colloquial term "elope," but I get the impression that we're kind of past that stage now. As I understand it, elopement (in the days when people cared about this kind of thing) meant to run away and get married without your parents knowledge. I think what Ted is hoping for now is just a cheap wedding. And who can blame him - that guy is broke.

I remember after our six-month engagement, I told Mrs. Wanders, "I now know the significance of the expression 'I'd marry you all over again.' Because I'm never going through this again." I'm a big fan of marriage; it's just weddings I could do without.

Of course, then I went onto Facebook and looked at my friend Taylor's wedding photos, I really wished I could have been there! Congrats Taylor and Todd.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 464

It's taking longer than Adrian thought? What in the world? I mean, she just found out about it yesterday. I'm starting to think that this comic strip doesn't make any sense.


Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 463

Mary, choose your words carefully. Of course Adrian looks well... compared to the guy in the bed behind you with the tubes coming out of his face. How do you think he feels when he hears you say that?

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 462

Uh, Ted... all you ever seem to talk about is eloping and your bad credit rating. How desperate must Adrian be to keep dating you? Nay, to marry you? It shall be fun, though, to watch Adrian's refusal to elope drive Ted slowly into a quiet insanity.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 461

Unless of course, you bank with Bank of Santa Royale and have a friend like Terry Bryson. They'll have you back to maxing out your credit card in no time.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 460

It is rare that both panels in the daily strip are so exquisite that I am compelled to straddle the copyright border and print the entire strip. Today is such a day.

A victim of identity theft? We know a lot about that! We also know someone who can help: Terry Bryson! But will he really need Terry's help after Adrian so maternally offers to take care of him?

And we thought today's strip would be banal.

Mary Worth 459

You must be at least 52 inches tall to use this credit card.

I'm thinking about a new label: "Waiters in Slacks."

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 458

This looks like a job for TOBY BRYANT!

I can't believe they didn't order coffee after their meal.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 457

This is the point in the story that I will forever mark as the moment it stopped being funny and became just plain painful.

I think it's time to pause for a commercial break:



Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth Adventures #456

Aha. A test of some sort. A challenge of skill and manhood, by which Ted proves himself worthy of the fair Adrian's hand in marriage and the approbation of his future father-in-law. Perhaps a boxing match of some sort. Or better yet, a quest! A quest to bring back the broomstick of the wicked witch, or the golden egg of the goose in the castle. Wait, did someone say "Pass Go?" Monopoly death-match!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth Adventures #455

Based on Jeff's definition of love that emotions override intelligent thought, I'd say every character in this strip must be very, very much in love.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth Adventures #454

I can't tell you how disappointed I am by this morning's strip. Yesterday, Adrian left us with a big cliff hanger: "Let me tell you what you mean to me." Today, she doesn't tell him anything! I was waiting for some more marvelous metaphors or spectacular similes or at least a little alliteration. But instead, Adrian just gives him a kiss so painful it drives locally owned businesses into bankruptcy.

By the way, happy birthday MOM!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth Adventures #453

If you notice a lot of underage drunks roaming about, it's because of their new drinking game: They take a shot every time Adrian or Ted touch the other's face. I understand that this game can ease the pain of reading Karen Moy's inane dialogue, but please stop, before your liver explodes.

Is that a soul patch under Ted's lip?

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth Adventures #452

There's a reason for that Adrian: It's because only slime-balls talk that way. After 12 years of medical school, and an intense career in cardiology, you haven't had much time to hang out with slime balls. But after spending 22 minutes on the wicked, wicked Interwebs, you've fallen head over heals in love with one.

Mary Worth Adventures #451

I'm not sure if Ted is smart or if Jeff's just an idiot... but past events would indicate that Jeff is an idiot. However, won't it be cool when this all gets tied together and we discover that Ted is the guy who stole Toby's identity? Small world wide web, ain't it.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth Adventures #450

Yes, Jeff, it certainly is! Lydia's death couldn't have been better timed.

Huh? Wait a minute? I'm not sure I understand why Ted is so relieved not to have to split the check. He should have at least feigned a desire to pay: "Jeff, please allow me to write a very impressive number on a napkin and leave it as a tip."

Today's Full Strip