Mary Worth 1,543

As I stared in wonderment at this morning's first panel, this favorite song from my hero Mr. Rogers came to mind.





Because this recording (by one of Mr. Rogers' neighbors) is scratchy, and some of the choicest lyrics are skipped, I'm including the lyrics from the Neighborhood Archive below:

Some Things I Don't Understand

Written by Fred Rogers | © 1968, Fred M. Rogers

---

Some things I don't understand.
Some things are scary and sad.
Sometimes I even get bad when I'm mad.
Sometimes I even get glad.

Why does a dog have to bark?
Why does an elephant die?
Why can't we play all the time in the park?
Why can't my pussycat fly?

Why, why, why, why, why, why
I wonder why.
Why, why, why, why, why, why
I wonder why.

Why do big people say, "No!"?
Why are their voices so loud?
Why don't the witches and bad guys all go?
Why does the sky fly a cloud?

Why, why, why, why, why, why
I wonder why.
Why, why, why, why, why, why
I wonder why.

Why does it have to get dark?
Why can't the day always stay?
Let's say goodbye to the night time, Goodbye.
Let's send the dark time away.

Why do fire engines make noise?
Why is hot water so hot?
Why aren't live babies like my other toys?
Why do I wonder a lot?

Some day, oh some day, I'll know what to say.
Some day, oh some day, I'll not have to say
WHY?

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,542

I'm so relieved to know that Mary's motives for bringing Mr. Harpman chicken soup are motivated by her selfish desire to stick her nose into someone else's business and to find out why this recluse keeps to himself. After she promised Jeff that John Dill would be her only good deed in 2013, I was worried she might break a promise.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,541

Monday's Mary Worth strip didn't post online until after 5 p.m. I was really worried that Aldo Kelrast had ushered in the Mary Worth Zombie Apocalypse and the strip had been canceled forever! Fortunately, a new story launched and order was restored.

Since we missed yesterday's strip, and since there is so much magic to celebrate in today's strip, I thought we'd have a double panel palooza.

It must be Mary's kitchen because I feel like I'm falling over, starting with the magical rainbow soup cascading into Mary's bowl.

From vanishing tables to self-rearranging counters, it's just fun, fun, fun!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,540

I know everyone was really excited to wake up this morning to see Mary's floating head out the airplane window.

Probably even more excited than we were over Gina's floating head.

But nothing filled my heart with joy more than to finally complete my perfect Handsome Jeff Trifecta.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,539

Well, John Dill seems to be getting over his wife's death pretty well.

But I feel like we somehow missed a giant Mary head in the sky.

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Mary Worth 1,538

Why would anyone dream of leaving Santa Royale?? That doesn't seem right. I mean, hello, Meadows Park? Diner? Maisie's? Why would you ever want to go anywhere else?

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Mary Worth 1,537

In an effort to speed things up and improve passenger experience, Santa Royale International Airport has actually begun bringing the airplanes INSIDE the terminal for boarding.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,536

Mary, don't you know the meaning of the word BEST? Nothing is better than best! Ipso facto: Nothing is better than you. You just have to accept that.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,535

In many ways, I envy John Dill. One of the great summers of my life was spent living in Manhattan when I was 27. I was interning at Manhattan Theatre Club, and subletting an apartment for $300 for the entire summer. Skip down if you don't want the story about how that happened. I was living in Cincinnati, and my friend Howard had graduated from Columbia Law School, so he took me to New York to look for an apartment. We stayed with friends of his, a married couple, who spent the entire weekend setting us up with girls. The first night, I declined, but ended up going with Howard and his blind date, and his married friends anyway. I was the fifth wheel. Howard's date was the understudy for Fantine on Broadway, and so my lawyer friend had trouble coming up with things to talk about, but she and I had a GREAT time. We went to dinner in Greenwich Village and then to a jazz club. And Howard paid for all of his date's expenses. This was my first night in Manhattan and I was loving it.

The next day, Sunday morning, the married couple set us up with a couple of other girls (I was more confident in their ability to find good dates for me in New York, and so I agreed). We ended up taking a couple of girls on a tour of Lincoln Center, and we had a great time.

But so far, I hadn't looked for an apartment. That afternoon, we went to church, and standing in the foyer was a classmate from BYU. I told him I was interning at Manhattan Theatre Club in the summer and he said, "Hey, I have a fellowship in San Diego this summer. Want to sublet my apartment?" I said, "How much?" He said, "I don't know. $300?" I said, "Sure."

And so I always tell my kids, "Go to church. Even when you're out of town."

But as good as my weekend was, it didn't even come close to how great that summer was.

And now I'm in a theatrical mood, so I want to ask the academy to remember Anne, with an E. For your consideration...

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,534

John Dill may the the number one cake maker in Santa Royale, but he is no Mr. Pipeline. If he were, he would know that the objective of surfing is not to ride a wave "higher," but to ride a wave "all the way to the shore." Of course, some might say that's just a cliché and that the real objective is to ride a wave with grace and artistry, but then how would that relate to John Dill's cake making?

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,533

That $10,000 will go really far when you're living in New York City for eight months on apprentice wages. Hopefully, Chef Pierre will let you nibble on some Cheez-its while you fetch him stuff.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,532

Laughing all the way to the winner's circle... in OUTER SPACE!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,531

As Mary and John congratulate themselves, chin napkin quietly radiates fumes of rage from the backside of the cake over their neglect. It is as if he was screaming, "Okay, now that I've helped you win all that cash, get this pink frosting off of me!"

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,530

To find out who the winner is, you're going to have to read Today's Full Strip. But there shouldn't be any surprise, since we all know whose cake is the best - Mary and John already explained that to us, so we don't need see any of the other cakes.

I find it interesting that fifth grade colorist Eunice Chestnut has attempted to represent the unity of Team DillWorth by morphing their arms into one arm. Deep.

Mary Worth 1,529

I'm glad they've both had a chance to observe the competition and assess how they compare. The important thing is that we NOT be permitted to see the other cakes, and just take Mary Worth and John Dill at their unbiased word: Their cake is without question the best.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,528

No, John Dill! Keep your tiny Worthiverse fork away from that cake until AFTER the judging!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,527

Yes, but they couldn't have done it without Mary's third arm!

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Mary Worth 1,526

When Mary Worth says she can compete with the best of them, she's referring, of course, to Ivin Karpunski, world class Bulgarian cake carrier. Whose number, by the way, is only 28.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,525

The kids love competitive cake baking, but after six hours of drinking beer, they can get a bit unruly.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,524

Somehow, I forgot to hit post yesterday after I wrote the following

As blue cake hits the floor, a desperate tendril of frosting reaches out to pink cake. For support? Or to drag another cake down? Sadly, we will never know as blue cake brings new meaning to the beauty of nature.

If only I'd remembered to set my DVR to Local Channel.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,523

Oh no! I don't know who dropped the cake, but I hope it was somebody YOUNG!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,522

I can identify with John Dill's desire to glorify Mary Worth. She is my muse as well.

And I'm just going to say this once: If it weren't for fifth grade colorist Eunice Chestnut's obsession with pink, that would be one awesome cake. Well played, Joe Giella. Well played!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,521

And when you're done eating the cake, you can put this on your dashboard to protect you from old people who shouldn't be driving.

Today's Full Strip