Mary Worth 289

This story is going to take a few years to tell because paying for Ian's gift will require bearing a child and then selling it on the open market. After all, it was a hard-to-find item.

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Mary Worth 288

We should be grateful each day for the blessings in our lives. Today, I'm especially grateful that when Toby imagines her husband naked, she only thinks about him from the neck up.

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Mary Worth 287

Gosh, the plot has turned in a completely new direction: Alzheimer's. This is going to be really powerful. Or we stay with the stolen credit card story and wait until her next bill arrives three years from now. By that time, this criminal mastermind will have run up charges on Toby's credit card at dollar stores all over Florida's greater Suncoast region. It's frustrating for the merchants, too, because each of those $1.00 purchases costs them more than $1.00 in fees.

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Mary Worth 286

Such sweet mercy that we didn't have to spend the entire week listening to Ian go on and on about his collector's edition of Scotland narrated by Sean Finnery. Of course, Toby's been babbling about it since July 30th.

Sadly, Toby and Ian's credit card is issued by Fred's Bank. Not only won't they alert you about any suspicious activities (such as $14,000 in international cash withdrawals in just over a week), but you don't even get frequent flier rewards for fraudulent charges. Their bills sure come fast though.

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Mary Worth 285

Yesterday, I posted some strips from 1998, when John Saunders was still alive, before Karen Moy took over the writing of Mary Worth. Today's strip really points out Ms. Moy's superior skills as a writer. Under Saunders' hand, Ian was all, "What the blazes? I haven't the faintest clue!" and, "Bloody thing is almost human." Today, Ian speaks more like a soap opera comic character ought, "You mentioned it being a hard to find item." Thank heaven she's replaced vulgar expressions that gave insight into Ian's character, with prim and passive sentence construction to teach the many children who read this strip how to speak like true Americans.

Today's post is brought to you by ZAF Gear.

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Mary Worth 284

Wait a minute! Sean Finnery is a knight? And he has a goatee? You know, he starting to remind me of Sean Connery, the Oscar winning actor from - wait a minute - Scotland. What a strange coincidence.

Speaking of knights, it was brilliant of them to film this documentary in the pitch black of the night. It's the next best thing to sleeping there.

I stumbled across these Mary Worth strips from over ten years ago. It appears that perhaps as early as 1998 Toby and Ian had discovered their computer ineptness.



Don't forget to enjoy your FREE Secret Messages.

Am I the only one who thinks this strip is much, much better in black and white? Of course not; I'm sure Joe Giella agrees.

Mary Worth 283

Clicking a button? Do we click buttons? I thought we buttoned them. I don't recall seeing buttons in Santa Royale; I'll have to check that with Tina at Mary Worth, Style Maven. I'm assuming they were banned years ago when The Mary found people were using them as some sort of amulet to protect themselves from her meddling. Oh, wait. I know why I'm confused: Toby is talking about her mouseless-computer. I tried using the Internet without my mouse this morning, and guess what: it wasn't easy! But Toby, being smart and resourceful, must have found a way after Ian hid her mouse in his secret place to keep her from doing something stupid online.

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Mary Worth 283

Toby, if you think searching online for a DVD about Scotland and clicking "Add to Cart" was difficult, just wait until you discover that your identity's been stolen. I think it's going to take a little more effort than just entering a password and listening to one of Mary Worth's platitudes to solve that problem.

Yesterday, dear reader Eats Shoots and Leaves suggested that Ian did not look like a college professor. To present my counter-perspective, I offer this photograph (circa 1992) of Wanders with the director of my graduate program. Shave the mustache and, voila! He even spoke in a voice you'd imagine coming from Professor Cameron. However, that's where the similarities end; Professor Carl H.P. Dahlgren was an outstanding teacher and administrator. He's since retired, but we still love him! In fact, a scholarship fund in his name at the University of Cincinnati's College-Conservatory of Music just closed a $600,000 campaign, so, rock on, Carl!

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Mary Worth 282

Oh, Ian, how we've missed you and your subtly manipulating beard. "You wouldn't happen to have prepared an unnecessary dinner for me to eat after a long hard day of work, would you? I hope you didn't strain yourself by saving money in the self serve lane, did you? You haven't happened to be giving our credit card number out to strangers again, now have you?"

The great thing is that Toby is secretly delighted that she actually has planned an unnecessary extravagance. Something very special: $14.95 for a DVD about Scotland. It may not seem like much, but something tells me that this will be one birthday he'll never forget!

Change of subject: In case anyone hasn't noticed, a few days ago I added a new link on my Blog Links widget to Mary Worth, Style Maven. If you haven't visited yet, check it out! It is wonderful.

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Mary Worth 281

What are all these people cheering about?

He's back! All hail the conquering hero.



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