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Sincerity Sunday: I believe the Covid-19 quarantine had finally hit Karen Moy when she created an extra week of recap for this story. I can't imagine a Mary Worth story actually set during a pandemic that might possibly be resolved before the story resolves, given how long a Mary Worth story can last, but as flabbergasted as I was when the denouement droned on for another week, I now feel like thematically it has been perfectly tuned to recognize the stress we can all feel at times, and the gratitude we all seek in our lives. So, I have to admit that I think this extra week was inserted perfectly, and look forward to a new story with crowded diners and busy airports starting up tomorrow. Thanks for the reminder, Karen.

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Yes, it is International Praise-the-Madonna-of-Charterstone Day.

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Unexpected changes? Yes, please! The whole world is hoping for a change, but for those of us who follow Mary Worth, the monotony is especially acute.

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I'm glad she still has clarity.

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Oh, dear. Oh, dear oh dear. Mary's already told us that long distance relationships are a precarious thing. But they're only precarious when the people in those relationships are not fully committed. I have a family member in a long-distance relationship right now. Covid has kept them apart for two months. Their relationship has never been "precarious." It has definitely sucked for them, but if anything it's made them more committed to one another. So, Mary, shut up. It's Dawn. Every relationship is precarious.

Also, Jared is going to die. If you haven't figured that out yet.

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I have a strange foreboding about this conversation. It's as if something ominous, like a worldwide pandemic, is about to happen.

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Actors Theatre of Greater Metropolitan Santa Royale

Presents

Love is a Song that Never Ends

Act I

SCENE: Mary's condo. Dawn and Mary eat muffins.

Dawn: I saw Hugo in New York and made my choice.

Mary: Who did you choose?

Dawn: I’m with Jared. Choosing him was the right thing to do. Hugo and I agreed to be friends.

Mary: Did your young Frenchman take the news well? No resistance on his part?

Dawn: Hugo has feelings for someone else too… Someone he works with in Paris.

Mary: Long-distance romance is a precarious thing.

Dawn: I was relieved, Mary.

Mary: No feelings were hurt at the news?

Dawn: I admit… for a moment, I was surprised when Hugo told me he’s interested in someone else! But no feelings were hurt! Jut my ego, a little bit!

Mary: I’m glad it worked out and that there was minimal damage!

Dawn: When I got back, Jared met me at the airport and we’ve been seeing each other every day since!

Mary: That’s great, Dawn! I’m glad you’re happy with your decision.

Dawn: I am. Jared’s a good friend. And we just clicked along the way. We get along well and laugh at the same things.

Mary: Friends who become something more make for the best relationships!

Dawn: I respect Jared and the work he does at the hospital. He helps people in varied and difficult situations.

Mary: We think alike, Dawn. I respect people in the medical field too.

Dawn: He’s a bit nerdy, but I find that endearing.

Mary: When loves involved, quirks are viewed as charm.

Dawn: When I saw Jared waiting for me at the airport, I can’t explain it… I really felt like I was home!

Mary: I noticed your easy rapport with each other at the hospital.

Dawn: He’s a gem. I love him.

Mary: I’m happy for you, Dawn. At the next opportunity, introduce us. I’d like to meet him.

Joseph Campbell: Love is friendship set to music.

Dawn: He has strong feelings for me too… So it’s definitely mutual! I chose Jared because he makes me laugh and I feel good when I’m with him. We just clicked from the very beginning and before I knew it, I fell for him. It happened in an organic way. It’s just as well that Hugo’s interested in his French co-worker. Our love was not meant to be long-term. We’re still friends. My friendship with Jared, however, turned into something much more…

[Music Up] Wilbur, Estelle, and Libby singing offstage: “So I’ll be your friend, and I’ll be your lover… We don’t have to be one or the other.”

Black out.

Curtains open on:

Act II

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There is something absolutely pathological about Dawn's love life. Wow. Just, wow. Good luck, Jared. I hope you are meant to be. Probably not.

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Mary and Dawn have an understanding. And soon, Jeff and Jared will have an understanding, too.

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I am wondering what great literary tradition requires that serial comics conclude each story arc with a recap of everything that happened. Those who are reading on a once-in-a-while basis don't need it, aren't interested, and can't get hooked into a story that's already over. And those of us who compulsively read the strip every single stinking day for 13 years, already know the information. Also, it causes us to question our loyalty. And sanity.

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"I was surprised. I always thought he was trustworthy and loyal. I didn't think he was a lying creep. Like me."

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You know what else is precarious? Eating muffins in the living room, and yet Mary and her friends do it all the time. Can you imagine the crumbs under her couch cushions??

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Fraulein Maria was never fond of the French Resistance.

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What does Mary Worth think a relationship on fire looks like?

Our two daughters graduated this weekend (the oldest with her masters, and the youngest with her associates), so we had a little family commencement ceremony on the front porch. Just had to share:

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Ah, yes, the old familiar. I look forward to spending more time with Jeff and Mary.

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I'm hoping this is just a Jukebox request, and not the beginning of a new Wilbur story. I'd rather not add Reunited to the jukebox, but if it will make Wilbur go away, I am willing to persuade the Condo Board.

Speaking of great piano music, my friend Rusty Hancock has been sending out these weekly musical hugs during his quarantine (this is the ninth). You can visit his Facebook page to see others. He sent this one out last Sunday.

This week: why not some Caribbean flair? How about Malaguena? I'm dedicating it to my mother, who is also my (only)...

Posted by Russell Hancock on Sunday, May 10, 2020

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Even though he's now making over $90,000 a year as a physician's assistant, Jared has not bought a new car. It isn't because he's frugal; he just can't stand to part with the "Millennium Falcon."

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Dawn! You are such a flirt! To throw in the unnecessary "Us" just makes it all sexy and hot.

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Yesterday, everyone seemed to be standing around watching them kiss. Today, they are running away as fast as I can.... I mean, they can.

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Jared: I've missed you!

Dawn: It's good to be home!

Jared: I love you!

Dawn: I've fallen for you, too!

Jared: No, I said, I love you.

Dawn: Yes, you did!

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I get to share some context on today's quote! Especially today because Thomas S. Monson was the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (2008-2018), of which many of you know I am an active member. This saying can't really be ascribed to President Monson because he was quoting a plaque he saw in his uncle and aunt's house. I imagine they found the plaque at Spencer's Gifts.

The reference was made in a beautiful talk he gave in 2011 during a special session of General Conference for all the teenage boys and men of the Church. Some of it made me uncomfortable, but that's what prophets do sometimes. The talk was given in the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, which seats over 22,000 people, and is where the Tabernacle Choir often sings. President Monson was 87 years old and addressing some issues that weighed heavily on his mind about the men in the Church needing to live more righteously. If you read or watch this talk, you'll know me a little better.

But the point is, this quote is delightfully out of context. Perhaps not as much as quoting Iago from Othello inappropriately, but still, it was just a pithy plaque.

Happy Mother's Day everyone. Be good to your mom if you are blessed to still have her in your life. A co-worker sent me a text yesterday, wishing my wife a Happy Mother's Day. I replied that we don't celebrate. Then I counted to ten and texted, "I wish I could see your face right now." I was cracking up. She replied, "Don't do that, you know how gullible I am!"

And, finally, here's a picture of my lovely mother quarantined with the bouquet I sent her. She's the greatest mom in the world. Of course.

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THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! June even gave us SQUARE airplane windows! I have never felt so loved. They strung it out forever, but it was so worth the wait! Thank you June and Karen for keeping us so happy. If you haven't watched June's interview yet, it is so great.

Have a great day, everyone. Stay safe. Continue to follow the recommendations of health professionals, and avoid crackpots who propagate snake oil and bull for their own fame and enrichment.

Also, thank you to Tom K. for your donation yesterday and your kind note. I really appreciated that!

Edited to add: It occurs to me that some of you may not understand why I was so excited to finally see Jared's head in the clouds. If so, click here. Has it really been seven years???

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How will we ever know without a floating head?

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Not much for me to say today, except I couldn't be happier for these two love birds.

But what I really wanted to share was this. With comic cons being canceled, I was able to watch this entire 30 minute video with June. She is wonderful!

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This image perfectly depicts my feelings when Mrs.-Wanders-To-Be was showing "Donald" around Cincinnati all week. Of course, it could just be the combination of chips and F-Up soda pop that's making him so miserable.

But here's what I did when Donald finally left. He made the mistake of leaving the day before Mrs. Wanders' birthday. So bright and early the next morning, say about 6:30 AM, I brought birthday breakfast to her apartment. I had told my friend Matt what I was planning and he said, "I don't think you should do it, Wes." I said, "Matt. This is who I am. I do stuff like this. If she doesn't like it, then maybe it isn't meant to be." It turned out, Matt was partly right. I have since learned that Mrs. Wanders is NOT a morning person. The fact that my early arrival did not end it right there was a true test of love's limits. However, she let me in. My heart sank a little as I saw all these flowers, stuffed animals and boxes of candy that Donald had given her.

I fixed frozen Eggo waffles in her toaster oven, and I gave her a present. It was a shoe box, and inside the box were dozens of little toys from cereal boxes I'd been saving for the last year or two. Whenever I'd get a toy in a cereal box, I'd just toss it in the box up on the top shelf of my pantry and forget about it. I decided I would give it to her, but also in the box was a pair of earrings that I picked out for her that she adored. They weren't expensive but they were exactly her style, and she still wears them.

Anyway, things worked out for me, and I can only hope that they work out just as well for Jared. But he'll have to dump Dawn before he has any chance at real happiness.

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I was glad to see this panel recycled since I wasn't able to post on the day it was first used. Back in the 1990s, when I was a young bohemian interning at the Manhattan Theatre Club, I lived on 15th Street right across from Stuyvesant Square Park in a third floor walk up that I was subletting from a friend for next-to-nothing a month. It was a beautiful time, and while Stuyvesant Road appears to be a short little avenue in the East Village, it wasn't far away, and I'm just happy to think that I've walked the same streets that Dawn and Hugo are now exploring. If they follow in my figurative footsteps, they'll never see each other again.

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New persons always enjoy meeting their girlfriends' old persons.