Monday, September 8, 2008

Mary Worth 308

Yesterday, Caroline pointed out that the the pattern on the Camerons' drapes at home had suddenly disappeared, but now we know where they went - they're so co-dependent on Ian's pomposity that they've followed him to Chicago courtesy of the Dharma Initiative.

Today's Full Strip

Thanks for all your comments!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Mary Worth 307

She's done it again! This proves that our illustrious writer, Karen Moy, neither reads our blog, nor cares what we write.

But the last time she quoted Shakespeare, she used the quote to suit her own meaning, completely ignoring (or ignorant of) the quote's original context.

Today, Ms. Moy chooses to quote one of Shakespeare's greatest villains, Iago from "Othello." (As a side note, I saw Christopher Walken portray Iago in 1991 in Central Park. "Saturday Night Live" appearances aside, that boy can act!)

Today's quote is spoken by Iago as he feigns to resist smearing Cassio's good name by suggesting Cassio is having an affair with Othello's wife Desdemona. Iago's deliberate web of deceit ultimately leads Othello to murder Desdemona.

I love "Othello" so much that as a college freshman, I actually used one of Iago's speeches in my first audition. I won't say I was horrible, but I had learned the piece that day and I forgot my lines. I started improvising in iambic pentameter. It was truly embarrassing, but fortunately, the play they were casting was "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and after some pretty intense call backs, I was cast as a Mechanical - a member of the troupe of very bad actors who perform "Pyramus and Thisbe." I played Thisbe and had a blast.

Okay, I'm a little off topic, but my eyes are starting to burn from too much exposure to Toby and I don't know what else to say. However, I'm sure you can think of something. I love reading your comments - no need to be brilliant, just let us know what you think.

Today's Full Strip.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Mary Worth 306

No, Toby, you're never careless with your credit card. Never ever. But you are a remarkable actress. It takes a deep talent to reel in shock for such a sustained period of time. Many developing artists have watched this performance in amazement. For them I have transcribed your entire telephone conversation. Acting with a telephone is more challenging than most people realize, so I offer the following to be used as an exercise in acting class:
TOBY CALLS HER BANK

TOBY (speaking on the telephone): This is Mrs. Toby Cameron. I received a message about a fraud alert on my account! It must be some kind of mistake!

TELEPHONE: We suspect it's not. Did you move to CANADA?

TOBY: Canada? No of course not! I'm at the same address as always!

TELEPHONE: Just as we thought. We noticed not only a change of address for you, but also unusually large purchases recently made on your card.

TOBY (reeling in shock): !!! Reassigned me a Canadian address? Unusually large purchases on my credit card? ... You've got to be kidding me!

TELEPHONE: I'm sorry Mrs. Cameron. It looks like someone gained access to your account and took advantage of that.

TOBY: I don't believe this! How bad is the damage?

TELEPHONE: In addition to the charges made on your credit card, there were several large ATM withdrawals made as well.

TOBY: But my credit card wasn't stolen! And I only shop at reputable stores!

TELEPHONE: I'm sorry. Your current credit card balance is $18,000.

TOBY: Oh, my! (Aside:) Ian's going to kill me!

TELEPHONE: We'll try to work with you to control the damage...

TOBY: I can't believe this is happening to me!

TELEPHONE: We've seen this occur before, Mrs. Cameron. It's unfortunate, but it seems you've become a victim of identity fraud.

TOBY: What's going to happen now?

TELEPHONE: We'll immediately close your account. This will stop further damage from happening.

TOBY: What about the damage that's already been done?

TELEPHONE: We'll reverse the credit card balance and reissue you a new card. Rest assured.

TOBY: Easy for YOU to say. You said someone changed my account address to a Canadian one?

TELEPHONE: Yes. With technology today, access to personal information crosses all borders. Financial crime occurs everywhere. Anyone can be a target.

TOBY: Like me. I'm so upset I can hardly see straight.

TELEPHONE: Mrs. Cameron, we want to help you and we're willing to cooperate in any way we can. Nowadays public access to private information has become commonplace. It's unfortunate this happened to you.

TOBY: "Unfortunate" is not the word for it!

TELEPHONE: We'll process a claim for you. Identity fraud is a serious crime and we want to protect our customers.

TOBY: Thank you. I'm sorry for my outburst... I'm upset that this has happened. I appreciate your help.

TELEPHONE: You can call us if you have further questions.

[CURTAIN]


Today's full strip.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Mary Worth 305

Now that we've wrapped things up on the identity theft story, I have a few ideas for future plot lines:
  • Wilbur applies for a car loan.
  • Brian Good mows his lawn.
  • Dawn Weston studies science.
I think all of these would be even more thrilling than "Toby calls her bank."

Today's full strip (horizontal format).

Edited to add: Dear Reader John just placed odds at Hubdub.com on whether or not Mary would appear before next Friday. Click here to place your bet (play money only - Mary wouldn't approve of really gambling!).

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Mary Worth 304

Fortunately, Toby has taken the receiver away from her ear. Unfortunately, it doesn't necessarily mean she'll hang up. Fortunately, the bank fraud specialist is being helpful. Unfortunately, Toby still doesn't have a clue what they're talking about. Fortunately, Ian is in Chicago so we won't have to listen to his pompous exhortations. Unfortunately, Toby is suddenly acting like Ian. Fortunately, this telephone conversation can't go on any longer. Unfortunately, that's what I thought last Friday.

This post is brought to you by my favorite Remy Charlip book. I hope I'm not the only one who remembers Fortunately, or this post really isn't very interesting.

Today's full strip.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Mary Worth 303

I think it would be interesting to compare national suicide statistics with this story's plot progression. I for one wanted to be put out of my misery this morning. Of course you'd probably want to check worldwide statistics because, as you know, with technology today, Mary Worth crosses all borders. No wonder the U.S. is despised abroad.

Today's Full Strip.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Stop Hair Loss Now!

My wife, Mrs. Wanders, was just down at the local shopping center and passed this storefront window. She sent this to me on my cell phone. I'm not sure what she's trying to tell me, but both Wilbur Weston and I have some things to think about.

Mary Worth 302

Well, the torturous telephone conversation continues, and we still end today's strip with a close up on Toby's face. Except now she's staggering around her house as if she were in some sort of slasher film. Replace the telephone voice with these words: "Toby, we've traced the call. It's coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!" and you have a much more interesting story.

Will someone please explain to me what "reverse the balance" means? I'm as confused as Toby by this one. I think it means the bank is going to send her $18,000 in Enormoushop.com gift cards where she can order Ireland narrated by Pierce Frosnan. Or Utah narrated by Robert Fredford. Or England by Sir Ian McFellan. But not all three; I don't think she'll have enough money for all three.

Today's Full Strip.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Palm Beach Loves Some Mary Worth

Josh Furhlinger (Comics Curmudgeon), Karen Moy (Writer of Mary Worth) and I were all interviewed by the Palm Beach Post for this morning's story about Mary Worth. I thought you'd be interested.

Mary Worth 301

I will tell you why I'm so excited by today's strip: for over a month, everyone except Toby has known her identity was stolen. And so each day we've been treated to a strip where nothing has happened, or a faceless voice on the phone has explained to Toby what we already know. The lack of suspense has been killing me.

But today - Today! - Toby asks the big question: What's going to happen now!? A day hasn't gone by when we haven't known exactly what was going to happen (with the possible exception of Ian taking off his shirt - that was an unpleasant surprise). But today, it is a new dawn: What is going to happen now? Certainly, this telephone call must come to its merciless end; certainly, we can conclude a strip without an extreme close up on Toby's distraught face; certainly, SOMETHING can happen NOW! Or, er, tomorrow.

Today's full strip.