Sunday, February 24, 2008

Mary Worth 123

I love when Mary Worth and Dr. Jeff Corey get ticked off with each other. Mary, constantly passive in her aggression, Jeff pulling out the bold italics to hold firm to his position. For some reason, Mary is crazy-squirrel intent on making sure Drew "finds himself" in a third world hospital, rather than on the slopes of Switzerland or the warm beaches of the Caribbean. Jeff puts on his big boy pants and stands firm: "Mary, stop trying to send my son to stinking Vietnam, where I almost died two years ago. Whatever he wants to do, I'll support HIM, so shut up."

So loyal is Jeff to his spoiled-rotten son that he draws no boundaries: If Drew wants to climb a tree, I'll support him. If Drew wants to carve soap, I'll support him. If Drew wants to eat a rat, I'll support him - which coincidentally is a popular menu item in Vietnam according to the Wall Street Journal.

What kinds of things would you, dear reader, like to see Jeff support his son, Drew, doing? I think it's time for another Not-A-Real-Contest. Make your suggestions by February 29th and the winner gets to pick a song for the Charterstone Jukebox. The only rule is that you keep it clean - I know, that takes all the fun out of it for some of you, but we're a family-friendly blog. (Not-A-Real-Contests are not real contests.)


Anonymous said...

I'd like to see Drew drink blood. Both he and his dad are doctors so they should have plenty of access.

Anonymous said...

I want to see Jeff supporting Drew punching Mary in the gut.

Anonymous said...

I want to see Jeff support Drew in breaking up Mary and Jeff's annoying "romance". If they had any hobbies besides spouting platitudes (and occasionally making up new platitudes) I wouldn't be so anxious to see this happen.

Even a romantic boat ride for them is never anything but an excuse for a huge series of platitudes.

I think maybe they need to get away from each other. I'm sure Drew, who has just had to listen to them for days, thinks so too.

Will Dr. Jeff support him in this?

wheelhead said...

I want to see Jeff support Drew as he exacts his revenge on both his girlfriends by torching their condos.

Either that, or he takes vows in a Benedictine order and must forever renounce sex and speaking. The question, I guess, is to what degree Dr. Jeff is willing to support him--will he likewise take vows and disappear, or just send the occasional letter?