Meanwhile, across town, Dr. Cory gets disappointing news:
Dear Dr. Cory:
We regret to inform you that your submission to the Santa Royale Cake Designing Competition 2013 sponsored by Geritol does not meet our exacting standards.
This year's theme is unicorns. Babies were three years ago.
Sincerely,
The Cake Designing Ajudicators
Here's a video of Dr. Cory's cake. You may not want to watch:
And with that, I'll wish everyone a very Happy New Year! It's been a great year at Mary Worth and Me. I've loved all of your comments and observations. If you haven't had a chance to vote for your favorites, remember to vote before January 4.
While John Dill is distracted by the legal mumbo-jumbo of his three page entry form, his mustache slowly creeps past his nasolabial fold in a desperate effort to escape. Mustache has seen what happens when John let's his cake dream get the best of him. Two words: frosting rake.
John Dill's oddly mutated thumb, while a hindrance for a hotel manager, proved to be uniquely suited for cake decorating. Geneticists and bakers alike studied the ways it enabled him to manipulate his frosting tools to create enhanced detail no other human could attempt.
I just love how well crafted and inspiring this platitude is. So many of us are not who we are. And this just inspires me to correct that. I mean, I will if I am who I am, because if I am not who I am, then I really can't correct anything. Someone else will have to.
Edited to add: A big thank you to those of you who surprised me this morning with donations. This will really help Dan Smithers get back on his feet. Or I may just take my family to see "Les Miserables" instead. You guys are the best!
The nominees have been chosen! The condo board has deliberated and selected those meritorious achievements that they have deemed worthy of a 2012 Worthy Award.
Now it is up to you, dear readers and fellow citizens of Santa Royale. Below you will find the nominees for each category. After considering the nominees, please use the polling device for each category to make your selection.
Thank you,
The Condo Board
OUTSTANDING PROP 2012
Please select one of the following panels below for outstanding use of a prop in 2012. Please use the interactive poll below the four panels to cast your vote.
Mary's Big Computer
Big Rubber Finger
Chin Napkin
Jim's New Arm
Outstanding Prop 2012
See results
OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER IN 2012
Please select the outstanding performance by a guest character in 2012.
Magical Hobo
Nola Wolvenson
Emily Smith from Goleta
Jim
Outstanding Performance By a Guest Character in 2012
See results
OUTSTANDING USE OF PROFANITY IN 2012
Please select the most outstanding use of profanity in 2012.
Dan Smithers
Nola Wolvenson
Wayne the Kidnapper
Cruise Ship Passenger
Cruise Ship Captain
Outstanding Use of Profanity in 2012
See results
OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A REGULAR CHARACTER
Please select the outstanding performance by an established character in 2012.
Mary Worth
Wilbur Weston
Dawn Weston
Jeff Cory, M.D.
Outstanding Performance by an Established Character in 2012
See results
OUTSTANDING PANEL OF 2012
Please select the outstanding panel of 2012.
Jim "Bob"
Our Social Order
Reminds me of Dave
Gina in the Sky
Outstanding Panel 2012
See results
OUTSTANDING STORY OF 2012
Please select the outstanding story of 2012.
Woo-Hoo Bobby
Whatever Nola Wants
Kidnapped! (or Free Ice Cream)
Life is Brutal
Outstanding Story 2012
See results
Thank you for participating in this year's Worthy Awards. Voting will close on January 4, 2013.
Well, this plot is really heating up quickly! A competition for cake designers? Whoa! Who would ever expect a retired hotel manager to come in and upset the establishment? And when he elicits the help of Santa Royale's most experienced celebrity chef, Mary Worth, those culinary school graduates won't have a prayer. Sorry, suckers, John Dill just laughed at you from the winner's circle.
There is something so inspiring about a man who dreams of working at the Kroger bakery. It makes me realize that my dream of driving a UPS truck isn't so ridiculous after all.
Deep down? If 600 text messages and 47 voice mails is "deep down," than look out when Dawn becomes demonstrative.
And what is Jim thinking? Does he mean he hasn't given up on their friendship? Or does he mean, "One day, one day YOU will be mine, sister-wife! Bwah hah hah hah."
It was a profound moment when Queen Elizabeth first said this after 9/11. Today not so much. Particularly since Mary thinks that if she just adds an "i-n-g" to grief and love, she doesn't have to attribute her source.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mary Worth is not a very good writer.
I think Jim actually did grow a new arm. No one has used the word prosthetic, and the digital mobility of his left hand is far too advanced, at least on his teacher's salary.
Uh oh. Dawn, I'm not sure that it's a good idea for you to start speaking on behalf of Jim's dead sister. He already thinks you look just like her, and now he's confusing your support for hers.
But I suppose that in a few days, this story will conclude and you'll never see him again anyways, so it really doesn't matter.
Well, it appears things are back to normal. Jim grew his arm back, and he's no longer a rage-aholic. And look, here comes his dead sister Merry walking down the pier. Isn't it nice how these things always seem to work out?
You know, I don't think the weakness lies with the writer. I think it lies with the readers. At first I read this panel and thought, "This is good writing, but not GREAT writing." But then, I pictured a superb actor like Sir Ian McKellen or Sir Alec Guinness, or Catherine Zeta Jones (because I am always picturing Catherine Zeta Jones), and the writing became genius.
So if you ever think you are reading less than GREAT writing in Mary Worth, stop and ask yourself for just a moment... "Who is really at fault here?"
