Sunday, July 10, 2016

Mary Worth 2351

Wow, major spoiler alert: After Wilbur kill's Ian's wife, Tommy is going to shoot him to save him from Ian's mob.

Today's full strip


fauxprof said...

Two Vicodin? For a back strain? I like Wanders' scenario a lot better than what it looks like we're getting, a former addict about to get hooked on prescription drugs. This might be KM's biggest misstep since she appropriated the Costa Concordia disaster.

True Standish said...

Wha? Huh? I must not be a very good high-school student, Wanders, but I just don't get the allusion in your post. ... Kill "Ian's wife"? You mean TOBY CAMERON?!?!? She's my all-time favourite! I love her! Why would that *ever* happen?

Also, I think it's interesting that Iris is being implicated in Tommy's return to drug addiction. How can she possibly be so clueless? Ibuprofen in what Tommy needs. There are a lot of people with much worse back problems who aren't up to Vicodin-level pain yet. Amirite?

Downpuppy said...

Don't most high school students read "Of Mice & Men", Tru?

After Moy murdered Robert Burns today, I wouldn't put anything past her.

KitKat said...

It occurred to me that Iris is the opposite of Olive's careless parents, Ed and Evy, a.k.a. the TeeHee Twosome. Iris is treating Tommy, an ADULT, like a 9-year-old, while Ed and Evy practically forgot they are parents. Maybe a parental swap is necessary. At any rate, an intervention is needed for Iris. And who wants to bet she'll be less than thrilled when she finds out about Tina?

True Standish said...

@Downpuppy: OK, now I get it! Thanks, Wikipedia! (We haven't read that book yet in English class at Milford High. I am a really good stoodent, tho.)

I have to say, I don't like that couch for Tommy's back!

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Both as a proud Scotsman and as a tenured member of the Comp Lit faculty at Local University, I am outraged (outraged I tell you!) at the Robbie Burns misquote in today's strip. I would expect Mary at least to know the correct words, as I loudly recite the poem at every pool party.

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Clearly, the penchant of certain adjunct faculty members for introducing such frivolous subjects as yoga and root vegetable gardening has caused academic standards to deteriorate to a new low. To rectify, Hilton Berkes and I will be hosting a live reading of Burns' classic "Tae a Moose" in the original Scots Gaelic at our annual Burns supper. Kilts and sporrans will be mandatory and the affair shall be strictly BYOH (bring your own haggis).

Very truly yours,
Ian Cameron, PhD


Yahoonski said...

I swear I misread the Burns quote as "...often go Mary." Speaking of which, Tina is clearly Tommy's wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie.

As for the 2 Vicodin, actually that sounds about right. I find that one gives you a buzz that makes pain more tolerable, but it takes two to actually push the pain under. NSAIDs do reduce inflammation but aren't really painkillers, and I believe I recently read that studies show acetaminophen does jack-s for back pain. But everybody's different. After surgery once, I was given numerous doses of MORPHINE, which brought no discernable relief. When they finally got hold of my doctor late that evening, a shot of Demerol did the trick almost immediately. So take what you need, Tommy, then give the rest of it to Mary for safekeeping.

meg said...

Now that would be a much better ripped from the headlines story!

Lonely and Bored Elderly Woman becomes Addicted to Painkillers, Doctor Shops, Mistakes Accelerator for Brake; Drives through Wall of Condo Office.

Petunia said...

Tina's head has floated right out of a contemporary hairstyles magazine, circa 1972.